.  OF  CALIF.  LIBRARY,  LOS  AHGILBS 


The  WINNING 
FIGHT 


By  HERBERT  KAUFMAN 


OWEN  W.  BREWER 

Chicago 


Jttnr.  OP  CALIF.  LIBBJOT,  IDS  HKHBTM 


Copyright,  1910 
by  Herbert  Kaufman 


When  you  stop  to  think  of  what  you  ve 

done, 

And  you  count  your  struggles,  one  by  one, 
The  times  when  you  stood,  tho '  you  wished 

to  run — 

When  it  cost  a  mighty  lot  to  stick 
And  play  the  game  without  a  tricky 
Tho'  all  the  while  (if  you'd  been  slick) 
You  might  have   saved  both   time  and 

cash, 

But  you  chose  instead  to  go  to  crash 
Rather  than  let  your  honor  smash — 
When  you  measure  yourself  against  the 

rest 

And  find  that  you  stood  the  hardest  test 
And,  because  of  your  code,  came  out  the 

best — 
//  you've   always    kQpt    °n    the   clean, 

straight  side, 
A  nd  there  isn  't  a  thing  that  you  wish  to 

hide, 

You're  well  entitled  to  glow  with  pride — 
//  your  ways  and  your  days  have  all 

been  right, 
And  you're  not  afraid  of  the  strongest 

light, 
You\e  fought  the  only  Winning  Fight. 

7 


21 


The  twentieth  century 
was  born  without  a 
memory— it's  so  busy 
with  today's  achieve- 
ments and  tomorrow's 
projects  that  no  one 
has  time  to  remember 
yesterday's  exploits. 


THE  MODERN  PACE 

Opportunity  changes  her  pass-word  every 
day — the  world  is  spinning  four  times  as 
fast  as  it  used  to,  A  few  misguided  astron- 
omers may  try  to  dispute  the  fact — but 
they're  living 4  'among  the  stars/'  The  man 
who  hasn't  progressed  is  like  the  house- 
holder who  expects  the  key  of  his  old  flat 
to  fit  his  new  home — "he  can't  get  in*" 

Information  soon  becomes  obsolete  in  an 
age  where  improvement  dismantles  more 
machinery  than  wear  and  tear — which  in- 
cubates sky-scrapers  over-month — which 
sets  up  a  creed  one  week  and  upsets  it  the 
next — which  creates  a  hero  yesterday  and 
changes  his  laurel  wreath  to  a  fool's  cap 
to-morrow* 

No  man  is  secure  who  feels  a  sense  of 
security.  Self-complacency  is  a  frost — it 
kills  growth.  Self-satisfaction  is  a  rust — it 


Herbert  Kaufman 

_,,          dolls  brilliance*     The  universe  wants  new 
Modern    wa^s  °^  doing  old  things  and  the  new  ways 
Pace       become  old  over-night* 

The  twentieth  century  was  born  without  a 
memory — it's  so  busy  with  today's  achieve- 
ments and  tomorrow's  projects  that  no  one 
has  time  to  remember  yesterday's  exploits. 

The  new  era  has  cancelled  the  lie  of  vested 
right.  Position  and  assured  status  can  no 
longer  be  inherited*  The  millions  have  at 
last  overtaken  the  thousands*  The  sons  of 
service  are  standing  shoulder  to  shoulder 
with  the  sons  of  privilege.  The  barriers  are 
down — this  is  the  day  of  equal  chance- 
when  any  man  may  have  what  he  wills  if 
he  possess  the  strength  to  reach  it* 

Those  whose  fathers  had  but  the  right  to 
use  their  hands  may  now  employ  their 
brains*  New  view-points  bred  of  centuries 
of  peasant's  dreams  and  forbidden  ambi- 
tions are  dominant* 

An  eager  Americanism  is  measuring  off 
centuries  in  ten-year  lengths — crowding 
days  of  energy  into  hour  spaces.  The  older 
mankind  grows  the  younger  its  masters 

\2 


The  Modern  Pace 

become.     The  modern  pace  is  wearing  upon  «    < 
humans  as  wheels  are  worn  when  they  race     Pace 
at  reckless  speed. 

The  narrow  man  can't  survive.  Broader 
chests  and  broader  foreheads  are  ready  to 
replace  him.  The  yotmg  man  is  challenging 
his  ability.  Unless  he  constantly  renews 
his  vitality  and  reviews  his  knowledge— 
unless  he  keeps  posted  and  keeps  pacing— 
unless  he  adds  to  his  mental  kit  the  newer 
tools  of  thought  and  trade — the  newer 
systems  and  the  newer  economics — he  can- 
not hope  to  compete  in  the  after-building. 

Just  as  the  power-riveter  replaces  a  score 
of  hammers — just  so  the  new  type  of  man 
—the  virile,  full-nerved,  terrific,  high-ten- 
sion worker  is  pounding  down  the  unfit. 

There  is  no  mercy  for  the  weakling — the 
battle-field  of  Caesar's  day  was  not  more 
brutal  Human  nature  has  not  changed— 
only  the  weapons.  The  Roman  fought  with 
steel  for  gold — we  are  fighting  with  gold  for 
steel. 

The  moment  you  become  a  foolish  miser, 
gloating  over  your  yesterdays,  you  are  lost* 

13 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  You  mtist  keep  absorbing  new  ideas  as  well 
Modern  as  new  ajr.  You  must  build  your  walls 

Pace  higher  and  thicker  and  constantly.  New 
men  with  new  strength  and  new  weapons  of 
competition  are  "marching  onward  in  the 
dawn"  to  give  you  contest — they  ask  no 
quarter — they  grant  none. 


J4 


Walls  crumble  and  em- 
pires fall.  The  tidal 
wave  sweeps  from  the 
sea  and  tears  a  fortress 
from  its  rocks.  The  rot- 
ting nations  drop  from 
off  Time's  bough,  and 
only  things  the  dream- 
ers make  live  on. 


15 


THE  DREAMERS 

They  are  the  architects  of  greatness.  Their 
vision  lies  within  their  souls.  They  never 
see  the  mirages  of  Fact,  but  peer  beyond 
the  veils  and  mists  of  doubt  and  pierce  the 
walls  of  unborn  Time. 

The  World  has  accoladed  them  with  jeer 
and  sneer  and  jibet  for  worlds  are  made  of 
little  men  who  take  but  never  give — who 
share  but  never  spare — who  cheer  a  grudge 
and  grudge  a  cheer. 

Wherefore,  the  paths  of  progress  have 
been  sobs  of  blood  dropped  from  their 
broken  hearts* 

Makers  of  empire,  they  have  fought  for 
bigger  things  than  crowns  and  higher  seats 
than  thrones.  Fanfare  and  pageant  and 
the  right  to  rule  or  will  to  love  are  not  the 
fires  which  wrought  their  resolution  into 

\1 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  steel.  Grief  only  streaks  their  hairs  with 
Dreamers  silver,  but  has  never  greyed  their  hopes. 

They  are  the  Argonauts,  the  seekers  of 
the  priceless  fleece — the  Truth. 

Through  all  the  ages  they  have  heard  the 
voice  of  Destiny  call  to  them  from  the  un- 
known vasts.  They  dare  uncharted  seas, 
for  they  are  makers  of  the  charts.  With 
only  cloth  of  courage  at  their  masts  and 
with  no  compass  save  their  dreams,  they 
sail  away  undaunted  for  the  far,  blind  shores. 

Their  brains  have  wrought  all  human 
miracles.  In  lace  of  stone  their  spires  stab 
the  Old  World's  skies  and  with  their  golden 
crosses  kiss  the  sun. 

The  belted  wheel,  the  trail  of  steel,  the 
churning  screw,  are  shuttles  in  the  loom  on 
which  they  weave  their  magic  tapestries. 

A  flash  out  in  the  night  leaps  leagues  of 
snarling  seas  and  cries  to  shore  for  help, 
which,  but  for  one  man's  dream,  would 
never  come. 

Their  tunnels  plow  the  river  bed  and 
chain  the  islands  to  the  Motherland. 

Their  wings  of  canvas  beat  the  air  and 

18 


The  Dreamers 

add  the  highways  of  the  eagle  to  the  human         The 
paths*  Dreamers 

A  God-hewn  voice  swells  from  a  disc  of 
glue  and  wells  otrt  through  a  throat  of 
brass,  caught  sweet  and  whole,  to  last 
beyond  the  maker  of  the  song,  because  a 
dreamer  dreamt* 

What  would  you  have  of  fancy  or  of  fact 
if  hands  were  all  with  which  men  had  to 
build? 

Your  homes  are  set  upon  the  land  a 
dreamer  found*  The  pictures  on  its  walls 
are  visions  from  a  dreamer's  soul*  A 
dreamer's  pain  wails  from  your  violin. 

They  are  the  chosen  few — the  Blazers  of 
the  Way — who  never  wear  Doubt's  bandage 
on  their  eyes — who  starve  and  chill  and 
hurt,  but  hold  to  courage  and  to  hope, 
because  they  know  that  there  is  always 
proof  of  truth  for  them  who  try — that  only 
cowardice  and  lack  of  faith  can  keep  the 
seeker  from  his  chosen  goal,  but  if  his  heart 
be  strong  and  if  he  dream  enough  and 
dream  it  hard  enough,  he  can  attain,  no 
matter  where  men  failed  before* 

19 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Walls  crumble  and  empires  fall.  The 
tidal  wave  sweeps  from  the  sea  and  tears  a 
fortress  from  its  rocks.  The  rotting  nations 
drop  from  off  Time's  bough,  and  only 
things  the  dreamers  make  live  on. 

They  are  the  Eternal  Conquerors — their 
vassals  are  the  years. 


20 


He  seeks  his  model  in  a 
mirror — measures  him- 
self by  his  own  image 
and  never  falls  short  of 
his  ideal.  He  is  intol- 
erable of  the  rest  of 
the  world — and  to  it. 


21 


THE  MAN  WHO  KNOWS  IT  ALL 

His  conceit  is  his  defeat — his  constancy 
to  himself  is  a  model  of  devotion  for  all 
lovers*  He  neither  wishes  nor  misses  the 
regard  of  others — he's  a  combination  Darby 
and  Joan* 

He  seeks  his  model  in  a  mirror — measures 
himself  by  his  own  image  and  never  falls 
short  of  his  ideal.  He  is  intolerable  of  the 
rest  of  the  world — and  to  it. 

He  heeds  what  pleases  him  most  and  not 
what  helps  him — he  makes  no  friends 
because  he  destroys  the  basis  of  friendship 
—that  frankness  which  warns  a  man  of  his 
errors  before  they  have  time  to  grow  into 
habits.  He  is  insulted  at  the  truth — he  has 
not  learned  and  will  not  be  taught  that 
sincerity  is  seldom  flattering  and  that  flat- 
tery is  never  sincere. 

His   universe    is    a    swelled    head  with 

23 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  the  pronotm  "I"  for  an  axis*  His  brain 
Man  Who  is  stunted  because  he  will  not  let  it 
Knows  It  expand — he  denies  it  nutrition — he  is  no 
longer  in  an  absorptive  mood — he  considers 
himself  beyond  the  point  of  learning  and  is 
therefore  unfit  to  teach. 

His  ability  lessens  as  his  complacency 
grows — his  sense  of  humor  soon  deserts  him 
or  he  would  realize  that  he  is  long-eared 
instead  of  long-headed*  He  is  a  boor  and 
a  boret  constantly  inflicting  his  lopsided 
theories  and  advice  upon  his  listeners* 
Those  who  voluntarily  remain  within  his 
circle  are  objective — they  have  either  found 
a  use  for  him  or  hope  that  he  will  find  a  use 
for  them. 

He  builds  life  badly  because  he  builds 
alone — in  his  hour  of  opportunity  he  neglects 
to  earn  well-wishers  and  in  his  hour  of 
distress  his  smirking,  fawning  intimates 
(upon  whom  he  has  burdened  his  offensive 
mannerisms)  are  first  to  add  their  kicks  to 
that  of  misfortune* 

He  carries  his  egotism  into  his  business* 
If  in  earlier  years  he  created  a  success,  he 

24 


The  Man  Who  Knows  It  All 

insists  that  all  who  follow  after  him  must  The 
of  necessity  either  be  followers  or  be  fools*  Man  Who 
He  does  not  know  that  he  is  wrong  until  he  Knows  It 
is  wrecked — his  conceit  makes  him  color- 
blind  to  all  signals  of  danger.  He  sniffs 
at  his  competitors  and  permits  them  to 
expand  without  opposition  until  they  can 
sniff  at  him. 

He  must  fail  because  he  does  not  keep 
his  mental  mechanism  up-to-date — he  must 
fail  as  inevitably  as  a  hatter  who  persists 
in  creating  styles  which  please  himself* 
without  regard  to  the  wishes  of  his  cus- 
tomers. He  is  like  the  recruit  who  declared 
himself  the  only  man  in  the  entire  regiment 
keeping  proper  step. 

You  can't  help  him,  because  he  can't 
hear  you — there  is  no  deafness  so  complete 
as  that  of  egotism — no  blindness  so  absolute 
as  that  of  those  who  will  not  open  their 
eyes. 

He  is  a  danger  and  a  menace  to  any 
enterprise — a  stubborn  mule  hitched  with 
his  head  toward  the  dashboard. 

One   wagon   wheel    turning   in   reverse 

25 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  action  forces  the  other  three  to  strain 
Man  Who  doubly  hard — one  such  man  in  a  business 
Knows  It  can  uselessly  double  the  work  of  all  his 
associates.  He  is  always  sure  that  he  is 
in  the  right  t  but  he  never  takes  into  account 
how  much  his  rights  have  a  right  to  weigh 
for  the  "right  of  way/' 

The  sooner  he  is  eliminated  the  better  for 
all  concerned — he  is  a  solitaire  player  and 
doesn't  belong  in  a  game  with  partners. 

He  is  neither  curable  nor  endurable* 
He's  a  cheap  riddance  at  any  price — even 
at  his  own  idea  of  his  value. 


26 


Those  who  yearn  to 
wear  the  laurel  wreath 
must  learn  to  bear  the 
fool's  cap.  The  dif- 
ference between  a  jack- 
ass and  genius  isn't  so 
much  a  matter  of  ears 
as  of  years. 


27 


THAT  FOOL 

If  you  hope  to  improve  the  world,  first 
look  to  be  reproved.  Man  is  suspicious 
of  his  benefactors*  Jenner  was  fought  and 
cursed  for  fighting  the  small-pox  curse* 
The  universe  does  not  drop  its  beliefs — 
they  must  be  knocked  down  by  proof. 
The  mere  possession  of  knowledge  is  nothing 
—it  is  totally  useless  until  it  is  used. 

You  can't  plant  a  new  crop  in  an  old 
field  until  you  clear  away  the.  stubble. 
The  birth  of  an  idea  usually  means  the 
death  of  an  ideal. 

Columbus  was  sure  that  the  world  was  a 
giant  apple  and  not  a  geological  pan-caket 
but  he  had  to  produce  a  western  hemisphere 
before  the  fifteenth  century  believed  in  an 
eastern  one. 

Your  father  had  the  chance  to  buy  a 
share  of  the  original  telephone  stock,  but 
because  he  was  an  average  man  and  there- 

29 


Herbert  Kaufman 

That  Fool  fore  narrow  and  suspicious  of  all  that  he 
did  not  understand,  he  congratulated  him- 
self upon  his  common  sense  and  invested 
the  money  in  cigars* 

Your  ancestors  broiled  a  few  thousand 
gentlemen  for  insulting  their  vanity — for 
the  terrible  crime  of  thinking  differently* 

Those  who  yearn  to  wear  the  laurel 
wreath  must  learn  to  bear  the  fool's  cap. 
The  difference  between  a  jack-ass  and 
genius  isn't  so  much  a  matter  of  ears  as  of 
years. 

Great  ambitions  must  be  backed  by 
great  control,  great  denial  and  great  de- 
termination. They  who  understand  most 
are  sometimes  least  understood. 

Just  one  man  in  a  hundred  can  see 
beyond  his  nose — the  short-sighted  people 
are  in  the  majority — and  the  majority 
rules.  Only  imagination  can  visualize  what 
is  to  be — most  people  have  no  imagination, 
therefore  they  doubt  and  ridicule  what 
they  do  not  comprehend.  To  them  the 
oak  is  never  apparent  in  the  acorn* 

30 


That  Fool 

"That  fool"  rang  in  the  cars  of  every  That  Fool 
crusader  of  progress.     Most  illustrious  men 
divide  their  careers  into  three  chapters: 


Chapter  One 
The  time  when  they  jeered  me* 

Chapter    Two 
The  time  when  they  cheered  me. 

Chapter    Three 
The  time  when  they  feared  me. 


Fortune  disdains  mere  ability — brain  is 
nothing  without  bravery*  The  man  who 
can  be  thrashed  by  a  sneer  has  retreated 
before  he  is  defeated*  Half  the  new 
town-halls  are  gifts  from  "blamed  fools" 
who  left  home  because  they  couldn't  get  a 
sixty-horse-power  opportunity  in  a  one- 
horse  village*  Marshall  Field  was  dismissed 
for  incompetency  by  a  brilliant  cross-roads 
merchant  prince. 

Success  is  only  for  those  who  are  willing  to 
stand  by  their  standards — who  are  ready 

31 


Herbert  Kaufman 

That  Fool  to  endure  the  siege  of  mis  judgment — who 
are  prepared  to  face  the  fire  of  criticism  and 
to  accept  defeat  until  they  become  vac- 
cinated against  it*  Most  men  who  gave  up 
would  have  arrived  if  they  had  kept  up* 

Nothing  can  be  accomplished  by  a  coward 
— everything  is  possible  to  the  courageous* 
The  realm  of  "You  Can't"  is  dwindling 
every  year — its  coast-line  is  being  eaten 
away  by  each  successive  surge  of  advance- 
ment. The  greatest  works  of  humanity  are 
still  incubating  in  the  womb  of  time.  They 
will  be  achieved  by  the  "fools"  who  won't 
lie  down  until  they've  downed  some  lie. 


32 


Fate  is  old  and  wise 
and     cunning  —  and 


cruel.    Every  time  she 


thinks    of   him    she 


Every  time  she 


looks  at  him  she  winks. 


She    has    made    him 


33 


THE  FAILURE 

When  the  bookkeeper  reaches  the  office 
he  finds  him  puzzling  through  the  mail  and 
scheming  out  his  coming  nine  hours  of 
routine*  He  hasn't  had  a  month's  vacation 
since  he  slipped  in  harness.  He  takes  a 
scant  half  hour  for  luncheon — even  at  fifty 
years  of  age  he  hasn't  earned  the  right  to 
a  leisurely  midday  cigar.  His  daily  path 
runs  in  a  straight  line  from  his  desk  to  his 
bed. 

He's  a  slave,  shackled  to  the  most  worth- 
less ambition  that  ever  dulled  a  soul. 

The  pace — the  monotonous,  unvarying 
schedule — the  grinding,  binding,  blinding 
self-drive — the  steady  trudging  onward  un- 
der the  lash  of  his  own  will,  have  so  worn 
him  and  torn  him  that  his  nerves  are  peep- 
ing through  their  threadbare  coats — by  day, 
spoiling  his  temper  and  his  digestion;  by 

35 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Failure  night,  squirming  and  twisting  at  his  peace 
as  he  begs  them  for  the  relaxation  of  calm 
sleep* 

Life  has  cheated  him  by  teaching  him  to 
cheat  himself.  The  fruits  of  success  have 
never  been  sweet  upon  his  lips — he  has  only 
tasted  the  bitter  rind* 

His  mind  is  channeled  and  all  his  thoughts 
run  in  one  deep  groove — the  same  sorts  of 
thoughts  in  the  same  groove*  The  only 
book  he  knows  is  his  ledger.  He  has  never 
permitted  Ruskin  to  carry  him  along  the 
canals  of  Venice  and  re-weave  the  tapestry 
of  the  Renaissance*  Nor  under  the  magic 
spell  of  "Idylls  of  the  King"  has  he  seated 
himself  in  the  lists  of  chivalry  where  Sir 
Lancelot  would  gladly  joust  for  his  pleasure. 

Michelangelo  and  Titian  have  wrought  in 
their  fine  frenzy  of  genius,  but  his  eyes  have 
never  known  the  glories  of  their  master 
craft.  The  Alps  have  poked  their  frosted 
old  noses  into  the  clouds — Lugano  has 
purled  and  sobbed  against  her  rocks — the 
sun  has  painted  purple  the  white  walls  of 
Tangier  every  day  since  he  possessed  the 

36 


The  Failure 

key  to  his  liberty,  bat  the  chains  have  The  Failure 
never  dropped  from  his  ankles  long  enough 
for  him  to  paint  their  majesty  upon  the 
canvas  of  his  memory* 

He  is  the  most  abject  failure  that  ever 
succeeded  in  life* 

And  yet  you  have  envied  him  and  wished 
to  stand  in  his  stead*  You  have  paused 
before  his  marble  cell  and  cursed  the 
fortune  which  denied  you  the  right  to  have 
what  he  possesses — his  worthless  hoard  of 
unspent  and  unspendable  money* 

He  can  buy  a  thousand  shares  of  Steel  as 
readily  as  you  can  purchase  a  crimson 
cravat — he  can  own  the  site  of  a  city  as 
easily  as  you  can  take  title  to  your  allotted 
six  foot  of  peace-earth.  But  with  all  of 
his  wealth  he  can't  buy  what  you  possess 
—youth,  and  the  opportunity  to  turn 
existence  into  life* 

Fate  is  old  and  wise  and  cunning — and 
cruel.  Every  time  she  thinks  of  him  she 
grins*  Every  time  she  looks  at  him  she 
winks*  She  has  made  him  overpay.  She 
has  sold  at  the  price  of  gold  and  loaded  him 

37 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Failure  down  with  riches  which  at  his  possession 
have  changed  from  preciousness  into  use- 
lessness. 

Now  it's  too  late*  He's  too  old  to  know* 
All  the  mystery  and  the  charm  and  the 
marvel  of  things — all  the  poetry  and  beauty 
and  wonder  of  his  days  are  gone.  He  ran 
by  them  too  fast  to  read — only  the  last 
chapters  are  before  him — he  can't  turn  back 
the  pages  of  Life*  For  thirty  years  he 
planned  "tomorrow" — the  only  thing  in 
the  world  that  never  arrives.  At  twenty 
he  could  have  found  joyt  at  thirty  enjoy- 
ment, at  forty  amusement,  but  at  fifty  he 
can't  play* 

He  has  deadened  every  sense  except  that 
of  acquisition,  and  wealth  unused  is  merely 
poverty. 

The  next  time  you  pass  his  home,  think 
it  over — the  laugh  is  on  him— you're  the 
rich  man* 


38 


We  don't  want  to  help 
you  because  assistance 
doesn't  aid.  Props 
merely  show  inability 
to  stand  alone.  We're 
kindest  to  you  when  we 
make  you  prove — 
when  we  force  you  to 
get  past  handicaps. 
Jumpers  are  developed 
by  setting  hurdles. 


39 


DON'T  STOP  AT  THE  START 

Get  away  from  the  big  mob  of  little  men 
and  come  on  up.  Nobody  has  yet  managed 
to  fill  out  the  space  between  here  and  the 
stars. 

There's  nothing  but  room  overhead. 
Competition  is  intense  only  down  below. 
The  hardest  struggle  is  the  beginning. 
The  outset  of  life  is  the  biggest  trial.  The 
start  takes  more  time  than  the  race. 

If  you're  sure  that  nothing  will  stop  you 
—nothing  can  stop  you.  So  long  as  the 
spirit  of  fight  is  in  yout  you're  like  a 
throbbing  motor — as  soon  as  you  can  get 
belted  to  opportunity  you're  sure  to  drive 
things. 

Everything  unusual  had  to  be  waited  for* 
The  man  who  built  the  Washington  monu- 
ment simply  piled  his  stone  higher  than 
anyone  else — he  merely  kept  his  head  clear 

41 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Don't  Stop  anc*  k*s  W0fk  straight.     What  is  crooked 

at  the      falls.    A  straight  line  is  always  the  shortest. 

Start       If  you  doubt  it,  try  to  recall  anybody  who 

ever  got  anything  or  anywhere  in  any  other 

way.    Roundabout  short  cuts  simply  make 

you  turn  back  and  start  anew. 

Being  honest  is  the  greater  part  of 
achievement*  When  you  know  that  you're 
doing  the  best  within  you,  you  can't  be 
downed.  Self  respect  is  an  eternal  life 
preserver — no  matter  how  often  circum- 
stance wrecks  you,  you're  bound  to  float 
back  to  solid  ground  again. 

Success  can't  be  inherited — if  you've 
been  handed  power  or  wealth  and  can't 
reproduce  it  of  your  own  accord,  you're 
worse  off  than  the  man  who  had  to  build 
both  for  himself.  He  can  repeat  his  fortune 
because  he  has  the  tools  of  experience  with 
which  to  re-create* 

All  really  big  men  carved  their  way  with 
their  own  muscles  and  their  own  brains  and 
their  own  determination*  Mansions  and 
palaces  don't  incubate  producers. 

The  masters  of  the  world  moulded  their 

42 


Don't  Stop  at  the  Start 

own  destinies — they  grew  great,  step  by  Don't  Stop 
step  and  year  by  year.    They  stayed  great       at  the 
because  each  inch  of  their  progress  was  a        Start 
contest  with  somebody  else,  until  they  had 
defeated,  by  sheer  ability,  every  opponent. 

Timber  can  only  be  seasoned  oat  in  the 
open  where  the  bad  weather  can  get  to 
work  on  it — it  rots  under  a  shed* 

The  need  and  hunger  and  want  of  things 
seasoned  three  poor,  ignorant  boys  into 
Lincoln,  Field  and  Edison.  They  became 
enduring  through  the  opposition  of  men 
who  already  had  what  they  wanted — they 
became  forceful  by  trying  and  trying  until 
the  last  trial  was  met. 

We  don't  want  to  help  you  because  as- 
sistance doesn't  aid.  Props  merely  show 
inability  to  stand  alone. 

We're  kindest  to  you  when  we  make  you 
prove — when  we  force  you  to  get  past 
handicaps.  Jumpers  are  developed  by 
setting  hurdles. 

We  can't  know  that  you're  true-blue 
until  you  have  stood  some  of  the  rains  of 
life  and  realize  that  your  colors  don't  run. 

43 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Don't  Stop       When  we  assist  you  least,  we  befriend  you 

at  the       most — we're  teaching  you  self-development* 

Start        It's  kinder  to  kick  you  than  to  coddle  you, 

because  it  gives  you  a  chance  to  kick  back 

and  every  time  your  kicking  is  harder,  you 

gain  additional  belief  in  your  own  power* 

Don't  stop  because  the  start  tires  you— 
you'll  soon  get  used  to  the  strain.  The 
cavalry  recruit  must  stick  in  the  saddle 
and  ride  until  he  doesn't  mind  the  jolting. 
The  oarsman  must  keep  rowing  until  his 
blisters  grow  into  callouses. 

Keeping  on  is  the  whole  trick.  The  pace 
is  secondary — it  will  develop  as  you  pro- 
gress. Speed  without  lasting-power  is 
wasted. 

It  wasn't  the  fastest  beginner  that  won 
the  Olympian  Marathon.  Legs  didn't  pro- 
duce the  victor — but  grit.  It  was  the  man 
whose  courage  didn't  wobble  when  his 
knees  did — whose  tenacity  kept  him  going 
and  held  his  chest  back  and  his  head  high* 

It  was  the  spirit  of  "I  Will"  that  drove 
him  to  the  end — nothing  else  really  counted. 

44 


What  goes  into  the 
past  comes  out  of  the 
future.  Carelessness 
won't  ripen  into  suc- 
cess. Laziness  won't 
fructify  into  ease. 
Trickery  won't  breed 
eminence. 


45 


THERE'S  JUST  ONE  EASY  ROAD 

The  man  who  lies  down  and  the  man 
who  lies  up  and  down  eventually  stay  down 
—the  one  won't  deliver  what's  expected  of 
him — the  other  can't*  They  both  want  to 
buy  success  at  illegal  rates — they're  taking 
too  much  discount*  There's  just  one  easy 
road — the  hard,  straight  way.  The  little 
off-cuts — the  smooth,  twisting  side  paths, 
only  seem  safe,  they're  not  meant  to  be 
walked  on. 

Ever  since  human  folk  began  to  reason, 
a  certain  percentage  of  misguided  idiots 
have  tried  to  get  ahead  by  cutting  over  the 
quicksands.  Occasionally  some  unusual 
man  (who  would  have  done  twice  as  well 
if  he'd  "done"  one-half  as  many)  realizes 
fifty  per  cent  on  his  ability-investment  by 
"getting  away"  with  more  than  the  law 

47 


Herbert  Kaufman 

There's      allows,  btrt  even  when  he  does  hold  it,  he 
Just  One     lets  g°  of  something  worth  more — he  over- 
Easy  Road   pays — he  loses  his  self-respect. 

The  card  sharper  can't  expect  to  retain 
both  the  cash  and  confidence  of  the  com- 
munity. The  cheat  can  buy  a  few  minor 
luxuries,  but  he  must  forego  the  real 
necessities  of  life.  There  are  many  things 
we  never  list  as  assets  and  only  weigh  when 
they've  gone  away — which  we  only  ap- 
preciate when  they're  out  of  reach.  Money 
won't  purchase  more  than  food  and  clothes 
and  excitement — peace,  security  and  happi- 
ness aren't  marketed  as  yet,  in  the  shops. 

Life's  just  a  matter  of  farming — of  finding 
fertile  soil  in  a  good  field — of  breaking 
ground  and  being  patient.  The  harvesting 
comes  last — the  main  work  must  be  done 
while  the  least  results  are  showing. 

Many  a  man  has  lost  out  just  because  he 
wasn't  patient  enough  to  wait  until  well 
planted  endeavor  had  time  to  sprout. 
Thousands  of  careers  have  been  ruined 
because  a  few  bad  habits  weren't  weeded 
out  of  a  strong  nature. 

48 


There's  Just  One  Easy  Road 

It's  far  better  to  endure  a  little  depriva-      There's 
tion  during  yotrth  than  much  privation  in     Just  One 
old  age.     Springtime  is  the  sowing  season  Easy  Road 
—you  can't  replant  in  winter*     What  goes 
into  the  past  comes  out  of  the  future*     Care- 
lessness won't  ripen  into  success.     Laziness 
won't  fructify  into  ease*    Trickery  won't 
breed  eminence. 

Millionaires  are  un-madet  not  created  at 
the  gaming  table*  Every  Wall  Street  for- 
tune is  built  out  of  a  thousand  Wall  Street 
misfortunes.  Most  of  the  men  who  buy 
silver-plated  harness  today  wore  work- 
plated  harness  for  a  great  many  yesterdays* 

Science  has  accomplished  a  lot  of  new 
things  with  water-power  and  air-power  but 
hasn't  improved  on  man-power.  Nothing 
so  fart  in  the  history  of  humanity,  has  been 
discovered  as  an  acceptable  substitute  for 
honest,  steady  labor. 

Old  Cyrus  Simmons  built  a  sizeable  town 
before  he  stopped  building  wagons.  He 
planned  a  great  many  stylish  rigs  in  his  day 
and  some  rules — the  rules  hadn't  much 
style  to  'em,  but  they  were  as  solid  as  his 

49 


Herbert  Kaufman 

There's      wheels — they  didn't  wobble;    Whenever  a 

Just  One     candidate  for  future  partnership  stopped  at 

Easy  Road  the  cashier's  window  for  his  first  week's 

pay-envelope,  in  addition  to  his  wages  he 

found  a  little  red  card   of  rules*     Cyrus 

didn't  copyright  the  rulest  so  you'll  get  a 

chance  to  profit  by  them,  too* 

Rule  I* — Don't  lie — it  wastes  my  time 
and  yours.  I'm  sure  to  catch  you  in  the 
end  and  that's  the  wrong  end* 

Rule  II. — Watch  your  work,  not  the 
clock.  A  long  day's  work  makes  a  long 
day  short  and  a  day's  short  work  makes 
my  face  long. 

Rule  III* — Give  me  more  than  I  expect 
and  I'll  pay  you  more  than  you  expect*  I 
can  afford  to  increase  your  pay  if  you  in- 
crease my  profits* 

Rule  IV* — You  owe  so  much  to  yourself 
that  you  can't  afford  to  owe  anybody  else. 
Keep  out  of  debt  or  keep  out  of  my  shops* 

Rule  V. — Dishonesty  is  never  an  accident. 
Good  men,  like  good  women,  can't  see 
temptation  when  they  meet  it» 

50 


There's  Just  One  Easy  Road 

Rule  VI. — Mind  your  own  business  and      There's 
in  time  you'll  have  a  business  of  your  own     Just  One 
to  mind*  Easy  Road 

Rule  VII* — Don't  do  anything  here  which 
hurts  your  self-respect*  The  employe  who 
is  willing  to  steal  for  me  is  capable  of  steal- 
ing from  me* 

Rule  VIII. — It's  none  of  my  business 
what  you  do  at  night,  BUT  if  dissipation 
affects  what  you  do  next  day  and  you  do 
half  as  much  as  I  demand,  you'll  last  half 
as  long  as  you  hoped* 

Rule  IX*— Don't  tell  me  what  I'd  like 
to  hear,  but  what  I  ought  to  hear*  I 
don't  want  a  valet  to  my  vanity,  but  I 
need  lots  of  them  for  my  dollars. 

Rule  X. — Don't  kick  if  I  kick — if  you're 
worth  while  correcting,  you're  worth  while 
keeping.  I  don't  waste  time  cutting  specks 
out  of  rotten  apples. 


Do  not  think  that  you 
can  spend  your  way 
into  better  circles  — 
houses  with  admittance 
prices  are  not  homes, 
but  business  shops. 
Where  money  is  a 
latchkey,  insincerity  is 
always  host. 


53 


THE  SNOB 

The  Snob  always  unmasks  himself*  His 
setting  can't  possibly  alter  his  paste  nature* 
He's  an  imitation.  Education  may  cut 
him  into  the  proper  form  and  give  him  a 
false  polish,  but  what  he's  made  of  isn't 
changed  by  the  process.  Real  culture 
comes  from  within. 

His  own  emphasis  raises  the  question  of 
his  genuineness.  His  loudness  doesn't  con- 
vince; it  only  convicts.  He  doesn't  set 
himself  in  a  higher  class — he  only  reminds 
people  that  he  has  just  left  a  lower  one* 

Life  is  filled  with  elevations,  upon  which 
men  have  been  set  by  forces  quite  beyond 
their  own  control.  It  may  be  that  a  post 
of  eminence  permits  you  to  look  down  on 
others — but  that  doesn't  signify  that  they 
belong  below  you  or  that  you're  fit  to  be 
looked  up  to — perhaps  it's  the  thing  on 

55 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Snob  which  you  stand  at  which  folks  are  gazing* 
You  may  be  an  insignificant  ornament  on 
a  pedestal  far  disproportionate  to  your  size. 

If  you  have  inherited  something  without 
inheriting  the  qualities  which  produced  it, 
you  deserve  no  especial  notice*  Folks  who 
profit  by  accident  usually  show  it  in  their 
attitude  toward  those  whom  they  esteem 
their  inferiors — they  make  the  great  mistake 
of  thinking  that  a  big  head  rather  than  a  big 
heart  is  the  sign  of  a  big  man.  Greatness 
can't  lose  any  part  of  itself  by  simplicity 
—that's  the  stuff  it's  made  of. 

A  gentleman  is  nothing  more  than  a 
gentle  man.  No  amount  of  green  in  your 
pocket  can  put  a  drop  of  blue  in  your  veins 
— money  can't  make  you  attractive — it  can 
merely  attract  people  who  want  your  money 
and  not  you.  There  are  so  many  mean 
ways  of  getting  rich  and  so  many  objection- 
able individuals  are  wealthy,  that  a  bank 
balance  alone  won't  balance  your  lack  of 
culture  or  refinement. 

College  may  teach  you  form — contact  may 
rub  some  things  away;  but  breeding,  like 

56 


The  Snob 

a  complexion,  is  more  than  a  surface—     The  Snob 
unless  it's  realt  it  only  makes  one  wonder 
what's  really  underneath.     When  it  is  as- 
sumed, it's  bound  to  wear  off  from  time  to 
time. 

Men  and  women  who  are  born  to  position 
show  it  by  not  showing  it  off — they  aren't 
conscious  of  being  different  except  when 
coarseness^  forces  them  to  realize  that  they 
are  of  another  ilk.  They  only  know  that 
they  are  above  the  average  through  contact 
with  some  one  below  it.  They  are  born 
with  their  status  and  incomes  just  as  they 
come  into  the  world  with  their  limbs.  They 
no  more  exult  over  their  goods  or  lineage 
than  you  thank  Providence  for  two  arms 
instead  of  one — the  sole  time  you  realize 
that  you  are  better  off  than  you  might  be, 
is  when  you  meet  with  a  cripple. 

Only  pushers  advertise  their  competency, 
and  by  the  irony  of  Fate,  having  attained 
any  sort  of  standing,  they  immediately  lose 
it  through  a  display  of  satisfaction  which 
brands  them  as  strangers  in  the  fold. 

When  Lord  Southcliff  received  word 
57 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Snob  from  a  former  valet  that  he  had  been 
plunged  into  sudden  grief  and  millions 
through  the  death  of  an  Australian  uncle, 
he  undertook  to  offer  him  a  few  words  of 
advice: 

"Do  not  think  that  you  can  spend  your 
way  into  better  circles — houses  with  ad- 
mittance prices  are  not  homes,  but  business 
shops.  Where  money  is  a  latchkey,  in- 
sincerity is  always  host/* 

"Those  who  do  not  welcome  you  for  what 
you  are,  simply  tolerate  you  for  what  you 
have/' 

"Refuse  any  attentions  which  you  are 
not  privileged  to  return  and  any  hospitality 
which  you  will  not  be  permitted  to 
reciprocate/' 

"Make  no  pretense  and  you  will  not  be 
met  with  pretense/' 

"Exhibit  the  same  reserve  which  char- 
acterized you  as  a  good  servant  and  the 
world  will  quickly  forget  that  you  ever 


were  one/' 


58 


It  isn't  the  broken  shaft 
that  cnpples  the  most 
machinery  and  shuts 
down  the  works;  it's 
the  little  nut  on  the 
little  bolt  that  works 
loose  and  throws  all 
the  rest  of  the  mechan- 
ism into  a  jumble. 


59 


JOHNNY  AND  OTHER  LOOSE  SCREWS 

Watch  the  little  screws  and  the  big 
wheels  will  take  care  of  themselves.  It 
isn't  the  broken  shaft  that  cripples  the  most 
machinery  and  shuts  down  the  works;  it's 
the  little  nut  on  the  little  bolt  that  works 
loose  and  throws  all  the  rest  of  the  mechan- 
ism into  a  jumble;  it's  the  little  men  in  the 
little  posts — the  minor  employes — the  office 
boys  and  the  petty  clerks — who  tangle  up 
the  great  systems* 

For  instance,  there's  Johnny.  Last  week 
you  dictated  a  four-page  letter  covering 
every  detail  of  your  deal  with  X;  for  days 
you  were  in  consultation  with  your  at- 
torneys and  your  managers;  you  canceled 
your  bridge  game  at  the  club  Friday  night 
to  carefully  review  all  the  documents  in 
the  matter;  you  verified  every  statement 
and  you  remained  downtown  an  hour  longer 

61 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Johnny      than  usual  in  order  to  be  sure  that  the 

and  Other    stenographer    corrected    the    mistakes    in 

Loose        your  dictation;  then  you  handed  the  letter 

Screws       to  johnny  to  post.    And  Johnny  lost  it  or 

took  it  home  with  him,  intending  to  drop 

it  in  the  box  at  his  own  corner,  but  forgot, 

and  kept  on  forgetting  until  an  angry  letter, 

protesting  against  your  slipshod  methods, 

gave  you  the  first  intimation  that  there 

was  a  muss-up*     Another  screw  loose. 

Or  there's  Andrews,  the  billing  clerk, 
who  tries  to  upset  the  laws  of  nature  and 
demonstrate  that  one  brain  can  properly 
consider  two  subjects  at  the  same  time;  if 
Andrews  were  that  gifted  he  wouldn't  be 
drawing  fifteen  per  in  your  accounting  de- 
partment; the  world  of  vast  affairs  would 
be  coveting  him*  Andrews  thinks  that  he 
can  discuss  the  baseball  prospects  while  he 
makes  out  his  statements.  And  so  Blank 
Brothers  (whose  account  you  have  managed 
to  land  after  three  years  of  effort)  wrote  in  on 
Tuesday  criticising  the  methods  of  a  concern 
which  didn't  know  when  its  discounts  had 
been  taken,  and  informed  you  that,  in 

62 


Johnny  and  Other  Loose  Screws 

future,  they  would  place  their  orders  with      Johnny 
a  firm  possessing  more  gumption  than  to  and  Other 
send  a  dun  to  a  customer  whose  account        Loose 
was    up-to-date.     Andrews    is  a  fearfully      Screws 
expensive  luxury  at  his  salary. 

If  there  is  a  pink  slip  in  either  of  their 
envelopes  next  Saturday,  chances  are 
there'll  be  two  more  to  swell  the  snarl  that 
"a  fellow  hasn't  a  chance  nowadays." 

Poor  Johnny  and  poor  Andrews — you'll 
never  understand;  you'll  never  know  that 
you've  had  your  chance  and  that  you 
didn't  deserve  it;  you'll  go  stumbling  and 
fumbling  through  life  neglecting  your  op- 
portunities as  they  arise,  never  realizing 
that  success  is  measured  by  a  man's  daily 
record — that  a  ladder  of  well  done  little 
things  leads  to  the  big  posts  up  top. 

The  start  is  all  that  counts;  the  thread 
of  destiny  is  wound  upon  such  a  fat  spool 
that  no  one  man  ever  had  the  time  within 
the  span  of  one  life  to  get  to  its  end.  But 
you  break  the  thread  at  the  outset.  You 
lack  steadiness;  you  don't  learn  your  corre- 
lation with  the  rest  of  the  works.  You 

63 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Johnny      can't  grasp  the  scheme  of  growth — that 

and  Other    success   begins   as    a    bad   and   that   the 

Loose        ripened  fruit  of  fortune  will  never  be  yours 

rews       if  you  kill  the  blossom  of  chance  by  the 

early  frost  of  neglect. 

You  are  being  weighed  and  measured 
every  hour;  you  are  under  a  constant  test, 
a  test  by'  which  you  can  prove  yourself* 
Carelessness  is  the  only  thing  which  can  be 
always  regulated  by  your  own  actions,  and 
carelessness  is  the  one  thing  that  will  not 
be  forgiven.  Anything  else  can  be  ex- 
plained; errors  of  judgment  are  but  human 
(even  Napoleon  made  them),  but  laziness, 
indifference,  disobedience  to  orders — these 
deserve  no  mercy  and  receive  none. 

A  ten-year-old  boy  saved  all  Holland 
from  re-becoming  a  part  of  the  sea;  he 
found  one  little  hole  in  the  dyke  which  pro- 
tected the  Netherlands  from  the  ocean;  he 
stuck  his  finger  in  the  hole  and  saved  the 
centuries  of  work  which  had  rendered  safe 
his  country. 

There  are  holes  in  every  business  dyke, 
64 


Johnny  and  Other  Loose  Screws 

little  leaks  through  which  failure  can  work  Johnny 

its  way  and  sweep  down  all  that  effort  and  and  Other 

honesty  and  purpose  have  achieved*    It  is  Loose 

you  who  make  the  holes;  you,  Johnny,  and  Screws 
you,  Andrews. 
Paste  this  on  your  walls  of  memory. 


65 


Half  of  greatness  is  grit. 
When  intelligence  is 
backed  up  by  the  deter- 
mination not  to  back 
down,  the  only  thing 
under  the  sun  that  is 
impossible  is  something 
that  can't  be  imagined. 


67 


IMPOSSIBILITIES  ARE  THE  FAIL- 
URES OF  LAZY  MEN 

Impossibilities  are  merely  the  half -hearted 
efforts  of  quitters.  The  man  who  won't 
go  through  to  the  finish  has  finished  at  the 
start.  If  he  hasn't  pluck  enough  to  hang 
on,  he  must  hang  back.  We  can't  afford 
to  regulate  the  pace  of  progress  to  accom- 
modate the  laggard. 

The  lazy  man  has  always  failed  in  every 
spot  and  in  everything.  He's  a  weed  in 
the  way  of  a  producer.  He  absorbs  more 
than  he  earns.  He  checks  the  growth  of 
well-planted  endeavor. 

He's  a  sterile  seed.  The  winds  of  fortune 
may  drift  him  successively  to  a  dozen  rich 
soils,  but  no  matter  where  he  lands,  he's 
useless. 

Even  when  he  does  meet  opportunity  he 
69 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Impossibil-  doesn't  know  it*     He  can't  tell  the  differ- 
ities   are     ence   between   good   luck   and   a   case   of 
the  Failures  measles. 

The  steady,  ready  worker  never  com- 
plains. He's  too  busy  trying  to  better  his 
condition.  When  a  man  is  doing  his  level 
best  he  always  finds  life  on  the  level. 

When  you  meet  a  howler  who  blames  his 
environ '  dent*  his  generation,  his  fellows,  his 
country,  you  find  a  man  who  has  failed  in 
himself.  Not  geography  nor  time  nor  en- 
vironment can  hold  down  a  fighter. 

The  right  type  of  man  will  start  a  grove 
of  fig  trees  in  a  desert. 

Failure  isn't  a  disease  of  locality — it's  a 
personal  habit. 

Anybody  can  get  a  steady  living  out  of 
steady  effort.  The  same  clock  that  ticks 
off  twenty-four  hours  for  one  man  can't 
cheat  his  neighbor.  The  same  laws  of  right 
and  wrong,  the  same  privilege  to  do  and 
dare,  are  open  to  both. 

All  through  the  continent,  old  counties 
are  changing  their  aspects.  The  stock- 

70 


Impossibilities  are  the  Failures  of  Lazy  Men 

breeder  who  wasted  fourteen  acres  of  prairie   Impossibil- 
upon  one  steer  must  hand  over  that  land      ities  are 
to  a  newcomer  who  can  make  it  support  the  Failures 
fourteen  humans  and  the  steer*  °     azvivien 

Prairie  sections  which  once  went  begging 
for  buyers  at  a  dollar  an  acre  are  now  bear- 
ing enough  cotton  and  cane  and  truck  and 
fruit  to  raise  their  value  a  hundredfold. 

The  same  soil  was  there  all  the  while. 
It  was  always  worth  a  hundred  times  as 
much  as  its  selling  price,  but  not  to  the 
owner  who  wouldn't  find  it  out. 

The  man  who  looks  hard  enough  will  find 
enough  to  repay  him.  Only  the  worker 
lasts.  Carelessness  and  indifference  and 
neglect  are  not  timbers  for  the  builder. 

There  are  no  free  passes  over  the  modern 
road.  Fortune  has  an  interstate  commerce 
law  of  her  own — she  won't  deadhead  any- 
one. 

Everybody  who  ever  did  anything,  any- 
where, had  to  find  the  grindstone  and  run 
himself  against  it  until  he  developed  an 
edge  that  would  cut  something. 

71 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Impossibil-       Half  of  greatness  is  grit*     When  intelli- 

ities  are      gence  is  backed  up  by  the  determination 

the  Failures  not  to  back  down,  the  only  thing  tinder  the 

ofLazyMen  stm  that  js  impossible  is  something  that 

can't  be  imagined. 


72 


There  are  countless 


things  which  he  will  not 


do  f  or  thesake  of  money  , 


because  he  knows  how 


few  real  things  money 


73 


THE    MAN  WHO  IS  A  GENTLEMAN 

He  remembers  his  own  mother  and  is 
therefore  considerate  in  thought  and  deed 
of  all  her  sex.  He  neither  degrades  them 
by  act  nor  by  word*  He  will  not  titter  a  lie 
about  a  woman,  but  if  need  arise  and  he 
may  thereby  spare  her  hurt,  he  will  gladly 
lie  in  her  cause. 

He  indulges  in  no  excesses.  He  is  master 
of  his  appetites,  and  does  not  lose  control 
of  his  passions,  his  judgment  or  his  voice. 

He  estimates  no  man  except  through  his 
own  experience,  and  then  he  forbears  to 
pass  judgment  until  he  is  certain,  of  his 
knowledge. 

He  does  not  spread  scandal,  nor  does  he 
permit  it  within  his  hearing. 

What  does  not  affect  himself  he  remem- 
bers to  forget. 

75 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Man        He   does   no   wrong   but   what   he   im- 
Who  is  a    mediately  seeks  to  right  itt  and  with  his 
Gentleman   Own  hands. 

He  is  as  eager  to  apologize  as  he  is  loath 
to  offend  and  is  always  anxious  to  acknowl- 
edge an  error. 

He  does  not  mistake  words  for  deeds; 
therefore  his  politeness  is  more  than  a 
polish. 

His  given  word  is  his  pledged  bond,  and 
the  bad  faith  of  another  never  justifies  its 
default  any  more  than  the  theft  of  his  own 
property  by  a  neighbor  would  lead  him  to 
retaliate  in  kind. 

He  obtrudes  neither  his  religion  nor  his 
politics,  recognizing  the  right  of  every  man 
to  his  sincere  beliefs.  He  is  never  an 
objective  critic,  and  when  he  passes  criticism 
he  does  so  with  a  full  appreciation  of  its 
favorable  as  well  as  its  derogatory  function. 

He  bestows  charity  with  a  smile,  and 
then  seeks  to  erase  the  sense  of  obligation 
in  those  whom  he  assists. 

He  advertises  neither  his  good  works  nor 
his  attainments* 

76 


The  Man  Who  is  a  Gentleman 

He  is  gracious  to  all  of  lowly  station  or  of     The  Man 
advanced  years,  and  never  flaunts  his  better    Who  is  a 
fortune  before  his  inferiors*  Gentleman 

He  makes  ostentation  neither  of  his  pos- 
sessions nor  his  culture,  realizing  that  his 
opportunities  may  have  given  him  advan- 
tages which  less  favorable  surroundings 
might  not  have  produced* 

He  discusses  his  grievances  with  no  one, 
not  wishing  to  inflict  his  essentially  personal 
worries  upon  his  fellows. 

He  is  cleanly  of  habit  and  of  tongue,  and 
prefers  to  find  the  world  as  himself* 

He  trades  neither  upon  his  name  nor  his 
birth,  nor  does  he  traffic  in  the  power  or 
influence  of  his  friends*  , 

He  does  not  prostitute  his  honor  to  bus- 
iness profit,  nor  does  he  request  his  woman 
folk  to  sacrifice  their  personal  inclinations 
in  the  cause  of  his  advancement* 

He  asks  no  man  to  perform  any  service 
which  he  could  not  and  would  not  perform 
without  smirch  to  his  own  self-respect* 

He  regards  wealth  as  a  pleasant  posses- 

77 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Man    sion,  btrt  one  which  does  not  justify  the 
Who  is  a    cancellation  of  a  single  attribute  of  honor. 
Gentleman       Jhcrc  ^  cotmtlcss  things  which  hc  will 

not  do  for  the  sake  of  money,  because  he 
knows  how  few  real  things  money  can  do 
in  return. 

Above  all  else,  he  is  a  gentle  man* 


78 


Don't  water  the  weeds 
of  sorrow.  They  thrive 
on  your  tears.  Dry  up, 
and  they  will.  Root 
them  out  of  the  garden 
of  Memory  and  give 
Hope  a  chance  to  grow 
in  their  place. 


79 


DON'T  WATER  THE  WEEDS 
OF  SORROW 

Don't  water  the  weeds  of  sorrow.  They 
thrive  on  your  tears.  Dry  up*  and  they 
will.  Root  them  otrt  of  the  garden  of 
Memory  and  give  Hope  a  chance  to  grow 
in  their  place.  Yesterday  is  trtterly  over 
with — Time  is  the  only  thing  in  this  life 
which  can  be  completely  destroyed.  The 
dead  days  always  bury  the  past  with  them. 
They  are  back  of  you — you  have  journeyed 
over  that  stage  of  the  road*  Don't  retrace 
your  steps — go  forward  to  happiness. 

What  can  you  possibly  gain  for  yourself 
or  for  anyone  else,  by  coaxing  and  fondling 
pain?  No  man  returns  his  hand  to  the  fire 
that  burned  it — he  isn't  fool  enough  to 
think  that  he  can  ease  the  hurt  bv  thrusting 

81 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Don't       *t  again  into  the  flame.    If  memory  harts 
Water  the    you,  don't  return  your  soul  to  the  torture. 

Weeds  of     Control   yourself — find   diversion — w  o  r  k 
Sorrow       har(fcn 

Don't  encourage  expressions  of  sympathy 
any  more  than  you  would  ask  folks  to  jab 
their  fingers  into  a  physical  bruise. 

Don't  grow  morbid — get  out  into  the 
world.  The  new  days  are  waiting  for  you 
— calling  to  you — they  are  breaking  in  the 
East  of  life,  and  in  their  span  there  are 
songs  as  mellow  and  golden  and  joys  as 
great  as  those  of  any  Yesterday. 

But  you  will  not  see  or  hear  them  if  you 
constantly  blind  yourself  with  the  images 
of  bitterness  and  deafen  yourself  with  sobs. 

Don't  allow  your  gloom  to  befog  the  sun- 
shine of  others.  Don't  be  selfish. 

When  you  remember  things  which  cannot 
be  helped  and  forget  the  help  which  you 
owe  to  others,  you  don't  lighten  your  own 
burdens  one  iota,  but  on  the  other  hand  you 
multiply  them  and  uselessly  force  their  load 
upon  innocent  shoulders. 

82 


Don't  Water  the  Weeds  of  Sorrow 

They  who  bring  cheer  with  them  find        Don't 
cheer — they  who  come  with  peace  obtain    Water  the 
peace.  Weeds  of 

Sorrow 

Woes  and  wounds  are  alike — they  must 

be  closed  before  they  can  be  healed. 

You  must  learn  the  Great  Lesson.  For 
thousands  piled  on  thousands  of  years,  men 
and  women  have  undergone  all  that  you 
have  suffered — they  have  met  with  every- 
thing that  you  have  faced — they  have 
prized  as  dearly  as  you  have  prized — and 
lost  as  utterly  as  you  have  lost.  They  have 
been  forced  to  find  their  courage  just  as  you 
must  find  yours* 

It's  tucked  away  somewhere  in  a  corner 
of  your  being  waiting  for  you  to  take  hold 
of  it.  All  that  it  needs  is  a  bit  of  exercise. 
It's  a  mere  muscle  of  the  soul — it  grows 
stronger  every  time  that  you  work  it.  It 
tightens  up  all  your  sagging  nature — it 
takes  the  warp  out  of  your  resolution — it 
tautens  your  energy — it  sets  your  brain 
working  and  as  it  becomes  active  your  mind 
will  cast  off  its  malaria. 

83 


Don't 

Water  the 

Weeds  of 

Sorrow 


Herbert  Kaufman 

You  are  still  full  of  strength,  but  you 
must  call  upon  it.  Happiness  is  worth 
fighting  for — the  contest  lies  solely  with 
yourself*  Begin  now  to  grapple  with  your 
will. 

Go  to  the  window  and  lift  the  shade — 
look  out  and  up —  the  sun  is  there  eager  to 
come  to  you* 


84 


Spurts  don't  count. 
The  final  score  makes 
no  mention  of  a  splendid 
start  if  the  finish  proves 
that  you  were  an 
"also  ran. 


85 


THE  MAN  WITH  THE  FIXED  IDEA 

Make  your  chart  before  you  start — 
choose  your  destination  before  you  buy 
your  ticket*  Don't  wait  until  you  reach 
the  end  of  your  journey  and  then  decide 
where  you're  going.  Many  a  man  has 
dried  up  in  a  little  way-side  opportunity, 
merely  because  he  lacked  the  courage  to 
acknowledge  to  himself  that  his  judgment 
had  landed  him  in  the  wrong  spot. 

You  can't  tell  what  you're  best  fitted  to 
do  until  you've  fought  for  a  few  things  fit 
for  the  fighting*  Now  and  then,  rifles 
accidentally  hit  bull's-eyes,  but  remember 
that  every  championship  record  is  the 
result  of  lots  of  practice  and  a  good,  steady 
aim. 

C.   Columbus  did  finally  stumble  onto 
America  after  much  aimless  wandering,  but 
don't  forget  that  a  great  many  of  his  pre- 
87 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Man    decessors  went  down  in  the  Atlantic  gales 
With   the    because  they  set  sail  without  a  definite  port 
Fixed  Idea  before  them. 

The  builder  who  hasn't  decided  how  high 
he  will  run  his  walls  before  he  digs  his 
foundations,  takes  too  much  of  a  chance- 
he's  apt  to  make  his  foundations  entirely 
too  weak  to  support  the  "afterwork." 

Know  what  you  are  after  before  you  start 
out  for  it*  The  "pig  in  the  poke"  system 
is  dangerous — the  pig  is  apt  to  bite  your 
hand  just  as  often  as  your  hand  is  likely  to 
grab  the  pig. 

Don't  rely  on  accident  to  start  you— 
accident  doesn't  run  on  schedule  and 
hasn't  a  habit  of  happening  in  the  same  spot 
twice.  The  Fixed  Idea  is  the  motive 
power  that  has  driven  most  men  to  attain- 
ment— more  plodders  than  geniuses  have 
reached  eminence.  The  sail-boat  without 
a  keel  usually  capsizes — the  man  without  a 
keel  is  unsafe.  Persistence  and  doggedness 
oftenest  bring  results.  Hard  work  is  com- 
mon coin  in  the  realm  of  Success. 

The  musician  who  aspires  to  become  a 

88 


The  Man  With  the  Fixed  Idea 

maestro    must    look    down    to    years    of     The  Man 
practice  before  he  can  look  up  to  the  hour    With   the 
of  acclaim,  and  once  he  has  received  recog-  Fixed  Idea 
nit  ion  he  must  keep  practicing  just  as  hard 
to  hold  it*     The  gift  of  music  and  the  love 
of  harmony  are  only  half — it's  "the  fixed 
idea"  which  keeps  his  fingers  on  the  keys* 
hour  after  hour,  day  after  day,  that  brings 
him  to  his  goal. 

The  lawyer  and  the  illustrator  and  the 
scientist  must  all  pay  the  same  price*  The 
master  of  railroads  must  strive  just  as 
earnestly  and  centralize  his  efforts  just  as 
intensely  today,  as  when  he  was  grasping 
for  control* 

You  must  make  sure  of  what  you  want 
to  do — you  must  feel  sure  that  you  have 
the  courage  as  well  as  the  temperament  to 
do  it  and  then — Do  It!! 

One  fair  idea  unhesitatingly  followed  out 
is  better  than  a  dozen  excellent  plans  none 
of  which  receive  concentrated  attention* 
Spurts  don't  count*  The  final  score  makes 
no  mention  of  a  splendid  start  if  the  finish 
proves  that  you  were  an  "also  ran," 

89 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Man         Only  the  steady  last.     Call  to  mind  a 
With   the    dozen  men  who  have  made  their  mark- 
Fixed  Idea  choose  them  from  trade  or  profession — and 
you'll  find  that   at  least  ten  out   of  the 
twelve  were  men  who  hung  fast  to  a  "fixed 
idea" — who  held  on  despite  setback  and 
reverse — who  endured  self-denial  and  diffi- 
culties and  won  out  because  they  didn't 
"peter  out." 

They  believed  in  themselves  -  they  thought 
that  they  could  do  a  certain  thing  and 
counted  what  they  believed  far  more  than 
the  concentrated  opinion  of  everybody  else. 

The  World  didn't  take  them  seriously  in 
the  beginning,  but  they  took  themselves 
seriously  and  in  the  end  the  World  changed 
its  mind. 

It  always  does  change  its  mind  when  a 
man  makes  good.  But  the  World's  so  old, 
and  has  had  so  much  experience  with  the 
human  race,  that  it  puts  every  man  down 
to  a  basis  of  zero  and  only  acknowledges 
that  he's  above  it  when  his  gauge  moves  up 
to  the  mark  that  his  own  confidence  has  set 
and  his  own  ability  attained* 

90 


The  friction  of  men  in 
action  is  the  energy  that 
sends  the  world  spin- 
ning. Disagreements 
are  like  flint  and  steel, 
they  strike  the  new 
sparks.  Contrary  opin- 
ions flail  the  chaff  out 
of  ideas. 


THE   MAN  YOU  MUSTN'T  TRUST 

He  extends  the  "glad"  hand  and  tries  to 
pass  it  off  as  the  helping  hand.  He's  too 
pleasing  to  prove  a  pleasant  acquaintance. 
Like  a  chameleon,  he  changes  his  personal- 
ity in  harmony  with  his  surroundings*  He 
has  no  ideals,  no  ambitions  and  no  prin- 
ciples, but  what  he's  willing  to  alter  for  the 
sake  of  self-interest.  He  wears  his  convic- 
tions as  other  men  wear  their  collars  and 
changes  them  just  about  as  often. 

He  tries  to  be  everybody's  friend  and 
winds  up  by  being  nobody's.  Necessarily 
he's  an  out  and  out  hypocrite.  What  he 
really  thinks  or  wants  he  never  tells — he 
plans  every  speech  and  only  says  such 
things  as  he  feels  you  wish  to  hear. 

He  is  absolutely  untrustworthy.  He  is 
unwilling  to  make  enemies  and  thereby 
proves  himself  a  weakling — strong  men  are 

93 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Man    known  by  their  quarrels — by  their  intoler- 
You        ance  of  unprincipled  actions  and  unworthy 
Mustn't      ideals* 

He  must  be  partly  a  sneak,  a  great  deal 
of  a  liar  and  somewhat  dishonest,  because 
men  differ  so  widely  in  their  standards,  that 
to  make  himself  agreeable  at  all  times,  to 
all  persons,  he  must  sympathize  with  many 
things  and  actions  which  a  man  of  indi- 
viduality is  forced  to  resent* 

His  friendship  is  not  practical — is  not 
rigged  for  stormy  seas — it's  a  sort  of  stage 
affair  intended  only  for  show* 

He's  a  human  kaleidoscope  whom  every- 
one sees  differently,  and  since  no  two  men 
ever  get  exactly  the  same  view  of  him,  the 
great  opportunities  of  life  never  come  his 
way.  Nobody  can  tell  which  of  them  is 
really  he.  When  men  strive  for  posts  of 
trust,  they  must  be  somewhat  post-like 
themselves  and  stand  steady* 

So  you  see,  after  all,  he  deceives  no  one 
so  sadly  as  himself.  He  takes  so  many 
chances  with  human  nature  that  he  fails 
to  get  his  own  chance.  He  agrees  with  both 

94 


The  Man  You  Mustn't  Trust 

parties   in   disagreements — encourages   op-    The  Man 
posite    sentiments    in    discussions — he's    a         You 
chronic  Colossus  of  Rhodes,  attempting  to      Mustn  t 
be  on  both  sides  at  the  same  timet  andt 
inasmuch  as  deceit  is  sure  to  be  discovered, 
he  loses  both  footholds  and  falls  between. 

He  is  always  a  flatterer*  His  speech  is  a 
verbal  anesthetic  with  which  he  seeks  to 
put  men's  common  sense  to  sleep  while  he 
operates  upon  their  sane  judgment. 

His  advice  is  worthless,  because  he  thinks 
with  his  tongue  and  not  with  his  heart* 
He  has  no  aim  except  his  own,  but  he  fails 
eventually,  because  he  cannot  be  forceful* 
The  power  to  inspire  belief  can  only  spring 
from  sincerity.  No  hypocrite  ever  became 
and  remained  a  leader. 

Oh,  it  doesn't  pay  to  be  "everybody's 
friend" — it's  too  impossible*  Try  some- 
thing easier,  such  as  upsetting  the  laws  of 
nature,  by  squaring  a  circle  or  by  growing 
wheat  on  the  ocean  or  making  two  and  two 
total  eleven. 

Only  a  certain  number  of  humans  were 
ever  meant  to  coincide  in  temperament* 

95 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Man    The  friction  of  men  in  action  is  the  energy 
You         that  sends  the  world  spinning,     Disagree- 

Mustn't  ments  are  like  flint  and  steel,  they  strike 
the  new  sparks.  Contrary  opinions  flail  the 
chaff  out  of  ideas. 

Old  Jed  Judson  used  to  say,  "I  like  a 
man  who  fights  me.  He  teaches  me  and 
helps  me.  If  he's  strong  enough  to  bang 
the  everlasting  tar  out  of  my  hide,  I  get  a 
chance  to  find  out  where  I  was  weaker  than 
I  thought.  If  I  can  put  him  down,  Tm 
doubly  sure  of  myself.  These  here  fellows 
all  the  time  handing  you  boxes  of  word 
candy  don't  go  with  me.  I  don't  take  no 
stock  in  over-sociable  folk.  They  remind 
me  of  hunters  calling  as  pleasantly  as  pos- 
sible to  a  female  turkey,  for  purposes  dif- 
ferent from  what  the  blamed  fool  fowl 
thinks/' 


96 


Your  diploma  is  just  a 
phonograph  trade-mark 
— it  simply  tells  us  what 
has  been  pressed  into 
your  mind  but  it  does 
not  say  what  you  will 
do  when  you  attempt 
to  make  an  independent 
record 


97 


TO  THE  COLLEGE  GRADUATE 

You  have  heard  the  salutatories  and  the 
valedictories — the  gorgeous  gushes  of  Dr. 
This  and  the  Hon.  That  have  jiggled  along 
your  vertebrae.  Upon  the  wings  of  their 
fancy  you  have  soared  into  the  empyrean, 
proud  in  the  consciousness  that  you  are  of 
the  world's  elect — a  rose  instead  of  a  thorn, 
a  mental  satrap  among  the  unlettered 
helots. 

Panoplied  in  academic  burganet,  cuirass, 
and  jamb,  you  stand  in  your  armor  of 
erudition,  valiantly  grasping  the  lance  of 
knowledge,  while  you  strain  to  hear  the 
fanfare  calling  you  to  the  lists  whither 
Minerva  has  summoned  you  as  her  true 
defender  and  pledged  knight,  and — 

Why,  bless  me,  there's  the  alarm  clock! 
It's  half-past  get-down-to-hardpan.  Where 
is  the  want  page?  H'ml — quite  a  lack  of 

99 


Herbert  Kaufman 

To  the       five  thousand-dollar  posts  suffering  from 
College      loneliness,  and  those  jobs  which  are  yearn- 
Cjraduate    jng  for  occupancy  all  seem  to  lay  stress  on 
such  an  unimportant  thing  as  Experience* 
Ridiculous,  ain't  it,  in  this,  the  twentieth 
century?  What  shortsighted  manufacturers, 
what  ignorant  merchants,  what  foolish  cor- 
porations!     Not  even  specifying  that  the 
first  requisite  of  the  applicant    shall  be  a 
college  degree! 

Why,  if  they  only  knew  your  grasp  of 
Chauvenet,  the  facility  with  which  you 
parse  the  intricacies  of  Thucydides,  the 
grace  that  characterizes  your  scansion  of  the 
Epodes  of  Horace,  and  your  comprehension 
of  Locke  and  Spinoza,  the  postman  on  your 
block  would  have  to  carry  an  extra  sack  of 
mail  from  the  hundreds  of  organizations 
wearing  long-distance  glasses,  searching  for 
oases  such  as  yourself! 

But  since  all  these  gentlemen  of  trade 
and  industry  are  not  brothers  to  Asmodeus, 
and  their  vision  cannot  pierce  the  walls  of 
your  bedroom  where  hangs  the  sonorously 
worded  diploma  that  glorifies  your  name, 

JOO 


To  the  College  Graduate 

it  is  quite  probable  that  you  will  be  forced       To  the 
to  go  ahead  like  perfectly  ordinary  young       College 
ment  and  "get  there"  by  "going  some/'    Graduate 
And  by  the  way,  it  may  be  just  as  well  if 
you  don't  lay  too  much  stress  on  Spinoza 
—the  world  of  affairs  has  not  as  yet  learned 
to  appreciate  the  advantages  of  men  who 
just  KNOW  things*     It  understands  only 
men  who  KNOW  and  DO, 

The  most  that  you  can  hope  for  is  con- 
sideration as  a  piece  of  superior  metal — a 
pig  of  iron  that  has  passed  through  the 
process  of  refining*  Your  degree  is  just  the 
foundry  mark*  As  you  stand,  your  brain 
is  practically  useless;  it  has  been  pressed 
into  a  standard  mold  of  thought,  and  is 
exactly  like  that  of  ten  thousand  other 
young  men  who  read  the  same  textbooks 
and  listened  to  the  same  lectures  and  were 
dominated  by  the  same  theories* 

You  possess  absolutely  no  value  either  to 
commerce  or  to  art,  except  that  of  un- 
wrought  material*  Your  future  depends 
upon  your  plasticity  and  tensility — your 
ability  to  conform  with  conditions  as  you 

101 


Herbert  Kaufman 

To  the  meet  with  them,  to  cope  with  emergencies 
College  as  they  meet  with  you,  and  the  stamina 
Graduate  vrfth  which  you  will  stand  the  strain  of 
action* 

You  cannot  become  a  ruler  through  just 
knowing  rules;  you  must  fit  principles  to 
something  practical  before  Success  even 
begins  to  flick  an  eye  in  your  direction. 

If  you  have  simply  absorbed  and  cannot 
radiate,  you  won't  get  half  so  far  as  Smith 
on  the  next  block,  who  jumped  school  at 
twelve  with  three  ideas  in  his  head  and  the 
power  to  get  them  over* 

Of  course,  we  know  that  you  have 
committed  to  mind  all  the  memorable 
dates  of  history;  but  the  question  is  whether 
you  will  be  able  to  make  a  date  memorable 
for  history* 

You  may  be  familiar  with  the  ora- 
tions of  Cicero;  but  have  you  drawn  into 
your  soul  and  your  blood  the  principles 
that  lay  back  of  them? 

You  are  not  unusual;  in  fact,  a  mer- 
chant would  mark  you  "standard  size" 
and  label  you  "regular." 

J02 


To  the  College  Graduate 

You  have  been  nurtured  upon  the  pre-  To  the 

digested  thoughtt   upon  ideas   and  ideals  College 

that  have  been  funneled  into  your  brain—  Graduate 
theories  that  other  men  dug  from  fact. 

You  have  merely  been  a  listener,  a  human 
sponge,  absorbing  the  experiences  of  others* 

The  world  cannot  find  you  very  useful 
in  your  present  form;  you  must  be  milled* 

You  are  wheat  in  the  husk — your  brain 
is  over-coated  with  a  chaff  which  must 
first  be  eliminated  and  differentiated  by 
good,  hard  whacks  of  common  sense*  Life 
and  living  must  flail  you  until  your  avail- 
able wisdom  is  sequestrated  from  that 
which  is  valueless  to  us* 

You  must  pass  through  a  process  of 
subtraction  before  you  will  be  considered 
an  addition  to  any  organization. 

You  have  been  busily  engaged  in  learn- 
ing things;  now  you  must  start  in  to  un- 
learn some  of  them*  You  must  create; 
up  to  now  you  have  only  secreted* 

Your  diploma  is  just  a  phonograph  trade- 
mark— it  simply  tells  us  what  has  been 

103 


Herbert  Kaufman 

To  the  pressed  into  your  mind?  btrt  it  does  not 
College  say  what  you  will  do  when  you  attempt 
Graduate  to  make  an  independent  record* 

You  have  no  individuality — it  has  had 
no  arena  in  which  it  could  find  expression. 

A  singer  cannot  enter  grand  opera  on  the 
strength  of  his  training,  but  merely  on  the 
strength  of  his  voice*  No  one  cares  a 
tinkers  dam  what  method  he  followed,  if 
results  have  not  followed  the  method. 

It  is  assumed  that  you  will  be  impetuous 
and  crusade  against  precedent;  that  you 
will  jump  at  conclusions  and  attempt  to 
upset  procedures  that  practice  has  found 
sound. 

The  business  world  anticipates  the  neces- 
sity of  toning  you  down.  You  will  pass 
through  months  of  false  humiliation  and 
hurt;  your  pride  will  quiver  and  pain,  and 
your  self-esteem  will  be  black  and  blue 
with  bruises;  but  after  the  foundry  marks 
have  been  filed  off  of  you,  and  you  have 
learned  some  of  the  lessons  of  life — after 
you  understand  how  to  measure  men,  not 
for  what  they  know,  but  for  what  they 

104 


To  the  College  Graduate 

do;  not    for  what  they   assume,  but    for      To  the 
what    they    accomplish — after    you    have      College 
realized  that  your  college  training  is  merely    Graduate 
a  course  of   mental  calisthenics  to  develop 
clear  thinking,  logical  reasoning,  and  noth- 
ing else — after  you  have  been  set  down  at 
the  bottom  and  have  forced  your  way  up — 
then  you  will  begin  to  be  of  some  value 
to  yourself  and  the  world. 


105 


Lack  of  appreciation  is 
the  incubator  which 
has  hatched  thousands 
of  employes  into  em- 
ployers. Injustice  has 
driven  into  independ- 
ence half  the  success- 
ful men  in  America. 


107 


WATCH  OUT  FOR  THE  MAN  BEHIND 

Today  is  yours,  but  tomorrow  belongs 
to  The  Man  Behind.  He's  back  there 
pushing  and  struggling  and  fighting  on— 
he's  gritting  his  teeth  and  keeping  in 
action,  so  he's  in  better  shape  than  you— 
the  exercise  of  effort  is  keeping  him  alert— 
thinning  down  his  limbs — pasting  his 
muscles  tighter  to  the  bone — twisting 
gristle  into  the  meat— Look  out  for  him! 

You  haven't  worked  at  full  vigor  of  late* 
There's  an  overcoat  of  fat  growing  around 
your  intellect — if  he  ever  gets  up  to  you 
and  it  comes  down  to  a  stern,  hard  con- 
test— you  won't  last.  Activity  doesn't 
tire — it  hardens — gives  resisting  power— 
develops  the  wind— teaches  one  to  stay 
when  the  tussle  becomes  intense.  There's 
many  a  man  in  your  office  carrying  the 
undeveloped  seed  of  achievement  in  his 
make-up.  He's  fertilizing  it  with  his  am- 
bition and  some  day  results  are  going  to 

J09 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Watch  out   grow  otrt  of  it — See  to  it  that  you  get  the 

for  the  Man  harvest. 

Behind  y^e  time  may  come  when  you'll  need 
loyalty  as  badly  as  the  Texas  bad-man 
needed  his  "Colt."  He  left  it  at  home 
on  the  pianot  but  the  sheriff  couldn't 
afford  to  overlook  the  chance  of  getting 
him  at  a  disadvantage. 

Your  competitors  are  always  watching 
and  waiting — they're  seeking  an  oppor- 
tunity to  "get  in."  You  may  have  to  rely 
for  survival  upon  the  fidelity  of  the  man 
behind.  You  won't  get  it  if  you  haven't 
earned  it.  There  are  two  sides  to  every 
question  and  like  the  flap-jack,  the  bottom 
gets  on  top  in  the  turn-over.  Your  staff 
only  owes  you  that  which  you  have  bought. 
If  you've  taken  advantage  of  circumstances 
in  his  hour  of  weakness,  depend  upon  it, 
when  somebody  else  offers  him  more 
money,  no  man  in  your  employ  will  stick- 
he  isn't  in  your  debt  by  one  throb  of  con- 
sideration. Lack  of  appreciation  is  the 
incubator  which  has  hatched  thousands  of 
employes  into  employers.  Injustice  has 

no 


Watch  out  for  the  Man  Behind 

driven   into   independence    half    the    sue-   Watch  out 
cessful  men  in  America*  for  the  Man 

Forests  die  out  unless  there  is  a  con- 
stant  growth  of  saplings — they  can  only 
be  perpetuated  by  the  seeds  which  drop 
from  the  trees  that  have  already  grown 
up*  Don't  forget  that  your  young  men 
are  seed — that  they  are  your  insurance 
against  the  future — that  you  must  look 
to  them  for  the  timber  of  to-morrow. 
Take  care  of  them*  You  may  not  need 
them  now*  but  as  the  years  pass  and  your 
own  powers  fail,  and  you  can  no  longer 
stand  the  gaff  as  today,  the  skill  and 
knowledge  and  confidence  which  you 
breed  into  those  surrounding  you  now,  will 
protect  your  past  efforts  and  warrant  the 
continuance  of  prosperity  for  your  family. 

Hold  on  to  your  sound  boys — they're 
worth  more  to  you  than  anyone  else,  be- 
cause they  are  more  valuable  to  every 
other  employer  than  you.  When  they 
go  away  they  are  like  bees,  covered  with 
fructifying  pollen — they  fly  off  with  the 
ability  they  gained  from  you,  and  use  it 

\\\ 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Watch  out   against   you*     When   they   enter   another 

for  the  Man  office,  they  handicap  you  by  their  with- 

Behind      drawal   and   strengthen   your   rivals  with 

their  knowledge   of  your   secrets.     When 

you  replace  them,  you  must  pay  as  much 

for  their  successors,   break  them  in   and 

afterwards  give  battle  to  the  very  strength 

that  you  allowed  to  desert  your  flag. 

Carnegie  is  giving  away  libraries  be- 
cause he  was  shrewd  enough  to  make  every 
potential  antagonist  a  partner.  He  drove 
his  bargains  when  their  strength  was  not 
at  its  fullest  pitch,  and  he  put  them  under 
-  the  yoke  of  mutual  interest  while  their 
brains  were  freshest  and  could  tone  up  his 
staling  view-point — he  made  his  own  per- 
centage smaller,  but  he  magnified  his  total 
profits  so  tremendously  that  a  part  of 
twenty  men's  earnings  far  exceeded  what 
his  lone  efforts  would  have  brought,  had 
he  tried  to  hog  it  all. 

A  small  interest  at  an  early  enough 
moment  creates  a  lifetime  ally — it  buys 
you  a  man's  play-time  and  night-time 
thoughts,  all  his  plans  and  ambitions.  It 

112 


Watch  out  for  the  Man  Behind 

creates  a  burden-sharer  who  will  lift  cares,   Watch  otrt 
the  shifting  of  which  is  worth  far  more  for  the  Man 
than  the  cost*     It  gives  you   a   sense  of      Behind 
future    security,    unknown    to    the    lone 
operator,  who  lives  in  the  constant  dread 
that  he  will  be  hardest  pressed  when  he 
is  least  efficient. 


U3 


Real  men  play  the  game 
of  life  with  unmarked 
cards — the  tattler,  like 
every  other  cur,  discloses 
his  breed  by  the  manner 
in  which  he  carries  his 
tale. 


115 


THE  TATTLER 

The  main  difference  between  a  tattler 
and  a  rattler  is  that  the  snake  gives  the 
other  fellow  a  show  and  the  sneak  won't* 
In  other  respects  they're  pretty  much 
alike,  barring  the  small  matter  of  an  "e," 

The  man  who  won't  stand  in  the  open 
and  make  his  accusations  where  they  can 
be  defended,  proves  that  he  not  only  lacks 
courage,  but  also  the  courage  of  his  con- 
victions* He's  a  coward — his  work  is 
always  signed — his  mark  is  "the  stab  in 
the  back/' 

Sincerity  never  bred  a  tale-bearer.  Real 
men  play  the  game  of  life  with  unmarked 
c*rds — the  tattler,  like  every  other  cur, 
discloses  his  breed  by  the  manner  in  which 
he  carries  his  tale. 

He  sometimes  deceives  himself  with  the 
thought  that  he  is  doing  good,  but  it  is 

U7 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  n°t  in  his  nature  to  be  disinterested;  the 
Tattler  personal  element  constantly  enters  into 
his  motives — his  tongue  is  poisoned  with 
the  venom  of  envy — he's  jaundiced — his 
spleen  is  full  of  jealousy — he  can't  digest 
the  thought  of  anybody  else's  success  or 
superiority* 

Unable  to  climb  as  high  as  he  aspires, 
he  attempts  to  pull  down  the  ladders  of 
ability  upon  which  better  men  are  mount- 
ing* But  the  assassin  of  reputations  must 
in  the  end  bear  the  punishment  which  the 
world  has  always  inflicted  upon  slimy, 
crawling  things — its  utter  disgust.  Jus- 
tice, although  blindfolded,  slips  the  band- 
age from  her  eyes,  when  her  sensitive  hand 
feels  a  cheating  finger  trying  to  weigh 
down  the  scales — the  average  run  of  human- 
ity will  not  convict  upon  one-sided 
evidence. 

Ever  since  little  Bobbie  was  caught 
emptying  the  jam  pot  and  smearing  the 
pup's  nose  in  the  jar,  folks  have  realized 
how  deceptive  appearances  can  be  made. 

The    mud-thrower    stains    himself    with 

JJ8 


The  Tattler 

the  mire  which  is  his  weapon;  he  smirches         The 
his   own  hands  whenever  he  delves  into      Tattler 
slander. 

Spies  have  never  been  popular.  They 
who  fight  in  the  dark  do  not  shine  in  the 
light.  The  scavenger  belongs  to  the  lowest 
caste  of  society;  gossip-mongers,  like  other 
collectors  of  the  unpleasant,  are  de  trop 
in  decent  circles. 

Even  a  thief  is  one  step  higher  than  an 
informer,  and  refuses  to  lower  himself  to 
the  infamy  of  betrayal. 

The  more  we  learn  of  life,  the  more  we 
consider  that  a  tale-bearer  is  not  to  be 
trusted — the  instinct  which  leads  him  to 
divulge  one  confidence,  will,  if  the  chance 
permit,  impel  him  to  make  use  of  any 
other  information  which  comes  within  his 
knowledge* 

He  stamps  himself  as  dangerous.  As 
his  reputation  spreads,  his  opportunities 
contract;  positions  of  importance  cannot 
be  given  into  his  care;  and,  so,  tho*  he  may 
be  gifted  sufficiently  to  perform  duties 
of  consequence,  the  certainty  that  he  will 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  divulge  crucial  secrets  shuts  him  out  from 
Tattler  openings  which  he  might  otherwise  secure. 

Men  must  have  the  friendship  and  co- 
operation of  their  fellows  to  achieve  be- 
yond the  ordinary,  and  the  tattler  soon 
becomes  a  pariah — every  man's  hand  is 
reaching  out  to  keep  him  down* 

Our  repugnance  is  so  great  against  any 
type  of  traitor  that  it  begins  to  manifest 
itself  in  childhood— even  the  kindergarten 
prattlers  ostracize  the  school-room  tell-tale. 


J20 


Demosthenes  was  one 
stutterer  who  became  a 
great  orator,  but  most 
stutterers  have  their 
mouths  full  when  they 
try  to  follow  conversa- 
tion, much  less  lead  it. 


J2J 


ALL  MEN  ARE  NOT  BORN  EQUAL 

Nature  doesn't  cast  from  molds,  she's 
an  artist — she  never  repeats  herself;  she 
doesn't  produce  two  things  exactly  alike; 
her  trees  never  bear  the  same  number  of 
leaves;  her  plants  never  grow  two  pieces 
of  fruit  that  exactly  match.  Being  a  very 
prolific  and  resourceful  person,  she  puts 
a  dab  of  individuality  in  everything  she 
creates — especially  Man. 

Opportunities  are  equal,  but  the  ability 
to  grasp  them,  the  mentality  to  appre- 
ciate them,  the  strength  to  develop  them, 
vary  with  the  individual. 

Ambition  is  a  good  thing,  but  attain- 
ment is  not  its  synonym.  The  world  is 
filled  with  22-caliber  cartridges  trying  to 
explode  in  30-30  rifles. 

Plans  for  achievement  must  be  matched 
with  power  to  carry  them  through.  De- 

123 


Herbert  Kaufman 

All  Men  mosthenes  was  one  stutterer  who  became 
are  not  a  great  orator,  btrt  most  stutterers  have 
Born  Equal  their  mouths  full  when  they  try  to  follow 
conversation,  much  less  lead  it* 

One-armed  men  occasionally  develop 
into  oarsmen,  but  most  of  them  can't  even 
keep  the  boat  in  a  straight  line  for  the 
shore*  It  is  a  good  rule  not  to  attempt  suc- 
cess in  a  field  for  which  accident  or  nature 
has  unfitted  you. 

There  will  always  be  superior  intellects, 
because  superior  progenitors  sired  them* 
Generations  of  careful  breeding  ought  to 
eventuate  in  an  improved  strain*  Futur- 
ity winners  aren't  found  between  the 
shafts  of  brick-carts* 

Any  man  is  capable  of  getting  out  of 
himself  what  is  in  him,  but  he  can't  pro- 
gress further  than  his  gifts  will  carry  him* 

Accident  will  now  and  then  combine 
circumstances  so  as  to  place  an  individual 
higher  than  he  deserves,  but,  in  the  long 
run,  Merit  and  Merit  alone  will  deter- 
mine the  outcome;  the  law  of  survival  is 
the  one  immutable  law;  the  strong  must 

J24 


All  Men  are  not  Born  Equal 

rise  to  their  appointed  and  destined  places;  All  Men 
the  weak  must  serve  those  who  prove  are  not 
their  fitness  to  command.  Born  Equal 

The  greatest  tragedies  of  an  absolute 
democracy  spring  from  the  discontent 
spread  by  the  sophistries  of  its  demagogues; 
the  unhappiest  phase  of  a  civilization 
founded  upon  equality  is  the  misconstruc- 
tion of  "equality*"  It  does  not  mean  that 
any  social  order  can  overturn  the  order 
of  nature;  democracy  only  casts  down 
the  walls  of  unearned  privilege;  it  kicks 
away  the  props  of  inherited  prestige;  it 
allows  each  man  to  stand  for  what  he  is 
and  to  have  what  he  can  reach — to  hold 
what  his  strength  can  master — and  to 
lose  what  his  own  gifts  cannot  maintain. 
But  no  democracy  will  ever  be  con- 
ceived by  man  which  will  overthrow  the 
basic  laws  of  the  universe — first  among 
which  is  that  of  competition,  which  has 
prevailed  since  the  cave-man  began  to 
test  his  prowess  and  to  measure  it  against 
that  of  his  neighbor. 

There   are   big   duties   and   little  tasks, 

125 


Herbert  Kaufman 

All  Men  offices  of  direction  and  of  obedience,  and 
are  not  there  must  be  big  men  and  small  men  to 
Born  Equal  perform  them* 

An  army  must  have  its  chielt  its  con- 
sulting aidst  and  its  ranks;  there  must  be 
cog-wheels  as  well  as  fly-wheels  on  every 
machine —  each  watch  must  have  its  main- 
spring— each  government  its  supreme  head; 
all  that  the  doctrine  of  equal  rights  can 
hope  to  accomplish  is  that  the  man  who  is 
most  deserving  shall  be  placed  where  he 
should  be.  Universities  cannot  upset  this 
principle;  they  can  only  multiply  and 
spread  in  their  scope  until  they  develop 
more  of  those  who  are  most  fitted  to 
stand  upon  the  heights;  they  can  broaden 
the  opportunity,  but  they  cannot  put  into 
any  mind  the  elements  of  initiative  or  of 
judgment* 

Until  the  last  page  of  the  last  volume 
is  written  in  the  Book  of  Years,  Merit  alone 
will  rule  the  earth. 


\26 


She  doesn't  resent  your 
boorishness-she  s  grow- 
ing used  to  it— lots  of 
ideals  get  nicked  when 
women  go  to  work. 


127 


"MAGGIE" 

That's  right — dive  on  through  the  crowd 
and  get  in  front  or  you  won't  find  a  seat* 
It's  six  o'clock  and  the  shops  are  out.  If 
you  wait  for  the  women  to  get  aboard, 
you'll  have  to  stand  up  all  the  way  home. 
There's  a  vacant  place!  Shoulder  past 
hhat  girl — you're  stronger.  You  did  it! 
Now  lean  back  and  have  a  comfortable 
half  hour  with  the  news. 

Why  does  she  moon  at  you  with  such 
tired  eyes?  It's  unfair  to  make  you  un- 
comfortable— mask  your  face  with  the 
paper — she  can  stand  as  well  as  you— 
better.  She's  had  more  practice — that's 
all  she  has  done  all  day  long.  So  a  little 
while  longer  won't  make  much  difference 
to  her.  If  women  will  insist  on  going  home 
just  at  the  time  men  leave  their  offices, 
they  mustn't  be  querulous  if  they  find  the 
cars  crowded. 

The  old  ideas  about  courtesy  and  chiv- 

J29 


Herbert  Kaufman 

i 

'Maggie"  airy  are  getting  to  be  moss-grown  poppy- 
cock. They  were  well  enough  in  the 
romantic  age,  but  this  is  the  business  epoch. 
We  haven't  time  to  pause  for  such  foolish 
notions  nowadays.  Besides,  now  that 
women  are  competing  with  men,  they 
must  forego  some  of  the  privileges  of  the 
sex  and  not  hope  to  be  coddled — there's 
no  sex  in  business*  Dollars  and  cents  and 
sentimentality  can't  be  blended*  And  so 
you  very  properly  dismiss  the  matter, 
having  argued  it  out  in  all  fairness  and 
(especially)  to  your  personal  satisfaction. 

Meanwhile  Maggie  hangs  onto  the  strap 
and  wearily  shifts  her  weight  from  one 
tired  foot  to  the  other.  She  doesn't  resent 
your  boorishness — she's  growing  used  to 
it — lots  of  ideals  get  nicked  when  women 
go  to  work.  She  left  home  yesterday 
morning  three  hours  earlier  than  your 
wife  arose.  It  was  dark  in  the  room  when 
her  ninety-nine  cent  alarm  clock  tattooed 
her  out  of  bed.  She  had  to  light  the  gas 
to  find  her  clothes — the  water  in  the 
pitcher  wore  a  skin  of  ice  on  top — (they 

J30 


"Maggie" 

don't   build  stationary  wash  basins  with    "Maggie* 
hot  and  cold  water  faucets  in  three-dol- 
lar-a-week   "boudoirs") . 

All  day  long  (and  all  days  are  long  in 
the  shops)  she  was  standing,  stretching, 
bending,  smiling — please  don't  forget  the 
smile — perhaps  you  noticed  it  the  last  time 
you  came  to  her  counter*  You  smiled,  too. 
Hers,  however,  was  a  different  sort  —  it's 
one  of  the  requirements — Rule  27 — "Be 
cheerful/'  Yours  was  more  of  a  social 
grin — a  knowing,  engaging,  subtle,  invit- 
ing affair.  Oh,  "they  can't  tell  you  any- 
thing about  these  shop-girls,"-— but  it  may 
be  worth  while  to  learn  something  about 
them.  And  when  you  do,  chances  are  that 
you  won't  smile  in  quite  the  same  way. 

They're  women  who  must  make  good- 
good  women,  or  they  wouldn't  be  drudg- 
ing out  their  lives  for  a  crust  and  a  sup 
and  a  strip  of  bed.  Just  as  frail  as  your 
women,  with  the  same  sort  of  souls  and 
hearts  and  with  the  same  yearning  hunger 
for  care  and  tenderness*  Young  women 
growing  old  at  the  rate  of  24-months-a- 

131 


Herbert  Kaufman 

'Maggie"  year — women  without  chances  or  with 
lost  chances.  Some  marry — some  were 
married — most  of  them  hope  to  be*  Usually 
they're  strong*  But  sometimes  the  half- 
starvation  and  the  half-warmth  and  the 
longing  for  better  shelter  and  all  the  food 
they'd  like  to  eat  and—  But  most  of 
them  keep  on.  Keep  on  playing  by  the 
rules — harder  rules  than  yours  in  a  tougher 
game  and  for  smaller  stakes* 

Women  just  as  wholesome  as  your  own — 
often  with  as  good  blood  in  their  veins. 
Women  who  haven't  lost  anything  except 
protection*  They're  paying  the  fiddler 
because  their  fathers  didn't  pay  their  in- 
surance premiums* 

The  gray  mists  veil  the  brightest  of  their 
days — the  menace  of  tomorrow  is  always 
between — a  tomorrow  whose  hope  fades 
with  their  fading  and  whose  approach  may 
only  be  provided  against  by  the  hoarded 
piece  of  silver  wrenched  out  of  a  ten-dollar 
bill  from  which  must  also  come  board  and 
lodging  and  carfare  and  clothes  and  doctor's 
bills  and  vacations  and — 

Why  aren't  you  smiling? 

132 


There  comes  an  hour 
when  grit  surmounts  all 
else.  Then  it  isn't  the 
number  of  pounds 
avoirdupois,  or  the  size 
of  a  bleep,  that  counts, 
but  the  depth  of  the 
threads  in  a  man's 
screws  of  courage. 


133 


THE  MAN  WITH  THE  YELLOW 
STREAK 

He's  as  dangerous  as  a  streak  of  light- 
ning— and  as  treacherous.  He  flashes  his 
true  self  without  warning  and  always  hits 
something  or  somebody  who  doesn't  ex- 
pect the  blow. 

He's  the  Man  with  the  Yellow  Streak— 
the  man  who  can't  win.  He's  wrong- 
wrong  from  eye-lash  to  toe-tip.  There's 
a  flaw  in  his  grain — he  isn't  made  of  the 
stuff  to  stand  the  strain.  He's  bound  to 
give  way  under  pressure.  His  meat  is 
weak — his  blood  is  thin — his  soul  is  lack- 
ing* He's  afflicted  with  an  incurable  moral 
epilepsy.  He  falls  down  in  a  panic  every 
time  he's  called  on  to  stand  up  and  show 
his  manhood. 

He  can't  reach  a  very  high  place  and 
stay  there.  He's  cursed  with  the  dread 
of  those  who  are  afraid  of  great  heights. 

135 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Man     It  ckrtches  him  when  he  is  mid-way  up  the 

with  the     ladder  and  instead  of  going  on  and  upward, 

Yellow       he   hugs   to   the   rungs   and   hangs   there 

Streak       shivering  with  dread*     He  magnifies  his 

risks — he  multiplies  his  dangers — he  loses 

all    his    balance — his    caution    disappears, 

and   instead,   a   foolhardy   irresponsibility 

takes  its  place* 

He's  a  drowning  man,  sinking  in  a  sea  of 
self  exaggerations*  He  will  lay  hold  of 
anybody  to  save  his  own  skin — he  will 
sacrifice  friends,  family,  employer — even 
his  hope  of  the  future — in  his  wild  frenzy 
to  look  out  for  his  own  immediate  interests* 

He's  a  coward — a  mean,  selfish  craven* 
He's  a  girder  with  a  flaw — a  beam  with  a 
knot*  Don't  use  him  where  there  is  likely 
to  be  a  strain — he's  a  man  with  a  danger 
spot.  No  matter  how  brilliant  or  trained 
or  resourceful  he  may  be  when  everything 
is  right,  all  his  superior  qualifications  are 
nil  and  must  not  be  called  on  in  an  emer- 
gency. He's  diseased — he  has  a  taint- 
he  can  never  be  counted  on  to  utilize  his 
gifts  when  they  ought  to  count  most. 

J36 


The  Man  with  the  Yellow  Streak 

He  can't  help  himself  because  he  isn't     The  Man 
man  enough  to  own  tip  and  ask  for  assist-     with  the 
ance.     He  won't   tell  you  what's  wrong      Yellow 
with  him.     He  wears  the  velvet  of  false       Streak 
pride  over  his  thread-bare  patch  and  you 
only  see  when  it's  too  latet  when  his  cloak 
drops  and  shows  his  tattered  courage* 

Search  him  out  among  your  men  and 
your  associates*  Don't  wait  until  he  runs 
amuck*  He  won't  give  you  warning — 
he  loses  his  reason — he  doesn't  realize 
what  is  happening.  In  his  zeal  to  protect 
himself  from  the  whip-lash  of  consequences, 
he'll  lie— he'll  cheat — he'll  throw  blame  on 
the  innocent.  It's  a  kindness  to  both  of 
you  not  to  give  him  a  chance  to  hurt  him- 
self and  you. 

You  can't  reform  him.  He's  a  quick- 
sand— he'll  merely  keep  involving  you* 

The  only  thing  under  the  sun  that  can 
possibly  bring  him  to  himself  is  to  leave 
him  to  himself.  A  great  enough  shock 
may  awaken  the  man  in  him — no  other 
medicine  will  count* 

Dress-parade  isn't  the  test  of  a  soldier. 

137 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Man     The    best    tactician    isn't    the    best    field- 

with  the     officer*     Don't  mistake  his  ability  under 

Yellow       normal    circumstances    for    capability    in 

Streak       emergencies*      Resourcefulness    under    the 

pressure  of  circumstances  has  sent  many 

a  recruit  climbing  over  the  heads  of  trained 

but  unseasoned  superiors. 

There  comes  an  hour  when  grit  sur- 
mounts all  else.  Then  it  isn't  the  number 
of  pounds  avoirdupoist  or  the  size  of  a 
bicept  or  the  number  of  convolutions  in 
a  brain  that  counts,  but  the  depth  of  the 
threads  in  a  man's  screws  of  courage.  Then 
Opportunity  enters  full-winged  upon  the 
scene  and  the  right  man  is  bound  to  come 
to  the  front.  He'll  always  take  his  proper 
post — and  the  man  with  the  Yellow  Streak 
is  sure  to  drop  to  his  true  level  whenever 
things  get  red  hot  and  the  fur  begins  to 

fly. 


138 


Your  name  in  Burke's 
Peerage  may  give  us 
an  idea  of  the  sort  of 
ancestors  you  had,  but 
Dun's  Peerage  is  more 
likely  to  show  what 
kind  of  an  ancestor 
you're  apt  to  prove. 


139 


YOUR  START  DOESN'T  COUNT 

Time  was  when  a  coat  of  arms  meant  a 
lot — now  it's  the  arms  in  the  coat  that 
count*  Your  name  in  Burke's  Peerage 
may  give  us  an  idea  of  the  sort  of  an- 
cestors you  hadt  but  Dun's  Peerage  is  more 
likely  to  show  what  kind  of  an  ancestor 
you're  apt  to  prove.  This  is  the  land  where 
dreams  come  true — where  rainbows  end  in 
pots  of  gold — where  castles  in  the  air  come 
sailing  down  to  earth  and  harden  into  gran- 
ite. Everything  is  possible  among  a  people 
who  cradle  Presidents  in  mud-chinked  cab- 
ins. If  you  fail,  you  lack  grit  or  courage  or 
judgment.  Rotten  fruit  never  ripens— 
the  wind  doesn't  shake  the  sound  apples 
from  the  tree — a  little  adversity  makes  the 
real  man  clutch  tighter  to  his  ambition. 
That  which  is  easily  had  is  worth  least- 
it  lies  within  anyone's  grasp.  The  hard- 
Hi 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Your  Start  ships  of  the  road-maker  are  rewarded  by 

Doesn't      primeval  forests  and  unstaked  mines.  Great 

Count        rewards  lie  at  the  ends  of  journeys — not 

at  their  start.    Persistence  is  everything — a 

patient  brook  carved  the  Grand  Canyon  of 

the  Colorado.     Niagara  started  in  business 

as  a  dinky  little  river,  but  she  kept  on,  and 

swept  on,  until  she  came  to  a  place  where 

she  saw  her  chance  to  do  something  big— 

and  she  did  it* 


142 


"I  wanted  some- 
thing—I knew  what  I 
wanted— I  wanted  it 
hard  enough— and  I 
got  it." 


143 


THIS  IS  YOUR  HOUR 

A  man  who  did  great  things  in  a  mighty 
way,  once  tore  success  from  the  claws  of 
seemingly  insuperable  obstacles*  "I  had 
to  win/'  he  saidt  "because  nobody  wanted 
to  keep  me  from  it  half  as  badly  as  I 
wanted  it." 

Across  thousands  of  miles  of  seas,  another 
conqueror  of  circumstance,  who  successfully 
dared  the  wrath  of  his  Sultan  allied  with 
the  three  most  puissant  monarchs  of  Europe, 
stood  upon  the  sea-cliffs  and  watched  Gib- 
raltar poke  her  nose  out  of  the  Mediter- 
ranean mists. 

An  Englishman  at  his  side  pointed  across 
the  angry  swirl.  "Yonder  lies  the  seat  of 
a  power/'  said  he,  "which  could  crush  ten 
thousand  tribes  such  as  yours.  How  did 
you  have  the  courage  to  defy  it?" 

145 


Herbert  Kaufman 

This  is  Your      "Bismallah,"   answered  Raisuli   with   a 

Hour        smile,  spreading  his  palms  to  the  heavens, 

"I    wanted    something — I    knew    what    I 

wanted — I  wanted  it  hard  enough — and  I 

got  it/' 


146 


It's  hard  for  a  man  to 
grow  zealous  over  cul- 
ture or  religion  when 
his  stomach  is  empty 
and  his  mind  is  filled 
with  visions  of  corned- 
beef-and-cabbage. 


147 


THERE'S  A  HOME  MARKET  FOR 
CHARITY 

Don't  start  offt  half-cocked  with  your 
sympathies.  Make  sure  that  they'll  help 
before  you  heap  them.  The  average  human- 
itarian is  so  enthusiastic  over  the  woes  of 
all  the  world  as  a  whole  that  he  quite 
overlooks  those  of  the  individual.  He  is  so 
ambitious  that  he  hasn't  time  to  be  specific. 
He's  like  the  picknicker  with  one  pat  of  but- 
ter and  a  loaf  of  bread — he  tries  to  make 
it  go  so  far  that  it  isn't  at  all  noticeable* 

Providence  has  had  her  hands  full  ever 
since  she  took  charge  of  this  universe— 
and  even  Providence,  with  all  of  her  facili- 
ties, has  not  been  able  to  catch  up  with  her 
back  orders.  There  are  too  many  senti- 
mentalists dropping  theoretical  tears  over 
the  woes  of  everybody  from  Good  Hope 
to  Cape  Horn — moved  by  the  theatrical 
aspects  of  existence  to  futile  theatrical 

149 


Herbert  Kaufman 

There's  a    emotions*     They  go  through  the  years  dis- 

Home       pensing  conversation  coin,  but  seldom  coin 

Market   for  of  the  realm*    They  exude  benevolence  from 

Charity     every  pore  but  the  purse-pore.     Their  ears 

are  always  sympathetically  opened — their 

pocket-books  stay  closed. 

There  is  more  than  enough  charitable 
impulse  running  around  loose — that's  the 
trouble  with  it — it  needs  to  be  harnessed 
and  made  to  drag  some  of  the  woes  of  the 
world  from  the  shoulders  of  its  Atlases. 

Because  you  are  occasionally  maudlin, 
don't  mistake  that  for  pity — the  only  time 
that  you're  doing  good  is  when  you  have 
done  something  that  actually  helped. 

When  next  you  sit  in  a  theater  and  sniffle 
to  the  accompaniment  of  "Eliza-Cross- 
ing-the-Ice"  music,  tumble  back  to  earth 
and  consider  that  no  playwright  with  his 
finite  brain  can  conceive  of  poverty  and 
sufferings  half  so  intense  as  those  which 
Life  is  constantly  staging  in  the  alleys  and 
tenements  of  every  city  in  the  land. 

Pay  a  little  less  attention  to  feeding  the 
starving  intellect  and  feed  a  few  more 

J50 


There's  a  Home  Market  for  Charity 

starving  bodies.     It's  hard  for  a  man  to    There's  a 
grow  zealous  over  culture  or  religion  when       Home 
his  stomach  is  empty  and  his  mind  is  filled  Market  for 
with   visions    of   corned-beef-and-cabbage.       Charity 
Don't  bother  so  much  about  the  lines  of 
Tennyson  and  Browning  until  you've  paid 
a  little  attention  to  the  bread  line. 

Let  the  cannibals  in  the  South  Sea 
Islands  and  the  Chinese  along  the  Hoang- 
Ho  look  out  for  themselves  until  you  have 
eased  some  of  the  misery  in  your  own 
block. 

It  isn't  necessary  to  export  any  of  your 
charitable  energy — there's  always  a  home- 
market  for  it. 

When  the  island  of  Formosa  was  swept 
by  a  tidal  wave,  the  shock  so  disturbed 
Mrs.  Hanks  that  her  husband  was  moved 
to  inquire  if  any  distant  branches  of  her 
family  had  settled  there.  "It's  just  upset 
me  so,"  she  remarked,  "that  I  can't  eat 
a  thing.  I  never  heard  of  anything  so 
terrible." 

"Can't  say  that  I  have  lost  any  appetite 
over  it,"  answered  Hiram.  "Of  course, 


Herbert  Kaufman 

There's  a    I  ain't  mean  enough  to  feel  chipper  be- 
Home       cause  it  happened,  but  to  tell  you  the  truth, 
Market   for  Millie,  it  ain't  worrying  me  any  more  than 
Charity     reading    about    Pompeii    and    other    such 
islands.    I  guess  I  would  feel  blue  if  I  had 
ever  paid  a  visit  in  the  neighborhood  and 
was  acquainted  with  the  folks  out  there, 
but   not   having   seen   the   place   and  not 
knowing  anybody  who  got  hurt,  if  I  looked 
very  much  disturbed  Yd  be  a  plain  'danged' 
hypocrite! 

"But  your  speaking  of  tidal  waves  re- 
minds me  that  the  Widow  Wilkins  is  down 
with  pneumony,  which  means  that  there 
won't  be  anybody  to  take  care  of  them 
two  little  girls  of  hers  until  she  gets  well, 
so  I  was  figuring  out  what  we  could  spare 
from  the  potato  bin  and  the  meat-house* 
Seems  to  me  that  if  we  look  out  for  them 
that  is  right  around  us,  it's  about  as  much 
as  the  Good  Lord  can  expect.  If  all  the 
rest  of  the  world  would  do  the  same  there 
wouldn't  be  any  need  for  folks  in  Podunk 
to  lose  sleep  when  things  go  wrong  in 
Formosa*" 

152 


You  can't  arrive  unless 
you  survive.  Half  jour- 
neys are  wasted.  Only 
the  stride  which  lands 
you  at  the  finish  counts. 


J53 


EASY  ROADS  DO  NOT  LEAD  TO  EASE 

If  you  try  to  make  life  too  easy,  you'll 
soon  find  it  too  hard*  Ambition  is  a  dream 
without  an  awakening,  unless  it  makes  your 
will  as  eager  as  your  wish*  Effort  is  ex- 
ercise; endeavor  produces  endurance* 

It's  no  trouble  to  cut  through  butter- 
but  it  won't  develop  strength*  The  hewer 
of  stone  wears  the  strong  arm  and  bears 
the  long  labor. 

Persistence  is  the  key  to  existence. 
Success  invariably  rewards  the  good  fight. 
Knowing  what  to  do  or  how  to  do  it  won't 
bring  results.  Action  must  drive  ability* 
The  nail  is  useless  without  the  hammer. 
Courage  is  the  complement  of  knowledge. 

Easy  roads  do  not  lead  to  ease.  Worn 
paths  run  to  spots  and  things  which  others 
have  already  found. 

Opportunity  is  trampled  underfoot  in 
the  crowded  thoroughfares.  The  greater 
chances  always  lie  ahead. 

155 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Easy  But  the  price  matches  the  prize.    If  you 

Roads  do    want  more  than  the  average  you  must  pay 

not  Lead    more  to  secure  it.     You  can't  buy  with 

to  llase     counterfeit   attempts*     The   true   coin   of 

accomplishment  bears  the  mint  marks  of 

grit  and  honest  labor. 

You  can't  have  our  best  unless  we  have 
your  best  in  return.  You  can't  arrive  un- 
less you  survive.  Half  journeys  are  wasted. 
Only  the  stride  which  lands  you  at  the 
finish  counts. 

You  can't  take  pleasure  and  indulgence 
with  you  in  the  climb.  You  must  forego 
temptation  and  cut  out  the  shortest  cuts. 
The  wrong  road  is  never  a  long  road— 
therein  lies  its  danger. 

If  you  meet  with  brambles  and  boulderst 
reflect  that  they  are  fewer  toward  the  end. 
The  more  rugged  you  find  the  wayt  the 
less  likelihood  that  you've  been  preceded. 

You  need  no  capital  but  a  fixed  idea  and 
the  resolve  to  carry  it  out.  Want  a  thing 
harder  than  the  world  wants  to  keep  you 
from  it,  and  you'll  wear  through  every 
opposition  and  get  it. 

Mere  knowledge  isn't  competition.    The 

156 


Easy  Roads  do  not  Lead  to  Ease 

man  who  secretes  mast  give  way  before        Easy 
the  man  who  creates.    A  bulging  forehead    Roads  do 
can't  conquer  a  squared  jaw.  not  Lead 

When  old  Henry  Harper  died,  he  willed     to  Easc 
his  millions  to  charity  and  his  will  to  his 
sons.    This  is  the  letter  which  they  found 
in  his  strongbox: 

"I  gained  my  money  from  men  weaker 
than  myself,  and  I  return  it  to  them.  If 
you  are  strong  enough  and  bright  enough 
to  retain  my  estate,  you  have  the  necessary 
tools  with  which  to  build  one  of  your  own. 

"If  you  cannot  succeed  without  my 
wealth,  you  couldn't  have  succeeded  in 
holding  to  it. 

"Others  will  think  that  I  have  pauper- 
ized you,  but  I  understand  how  great  a 
legacy  I  have  willed  you:  the  incentive  to 
prove  yourself — the  supreme  right  to  test 
your  powers  without  the  handicap  of 
assured  maintenance. 

"Go  out  into  the  world  to  earn  and  there- 
by learn.  Rub  against  men  and  get  an 
edge.  Enjoy  the  most  supreme  of  all  rec- 
reations— the  thrill  of  creation.  Only 
the  builder  truly  rises  above  his  fellow." 

J57 


His  pseudo-  surf ace  is 
like  the  iridescence  on 
a  stagnant  pool— it  forces 
us  to  ponder  upon  the 
depth  of  unwholesome- 
ness  beneath  his  pose. 


159 


THE  CAD 

He's  a  hermit  crab,  lurking  about  on  the 
shores  of  the  social  sea — crawling  around 
in  the  shell  of  a  gentleman — a  thing  of 
mere  garb  and  gab.  That  misguided  judg- 
ment which  likens  him  to  a  pup  is  arrant 
flattery,  but  takes  mean  advantage  of  a 
real  dog. 

He's  a  cad,  a  bounder,  a  near-man* 
His  pseudo-surface  is  like  the  iridescence  on 
a  stagnant  pool — it  forces  us  to  ponder 
upon  the  depths  of  unwholesomeness  be- 
neath his  pose. 

Brother  to  the  jackal,  he  sullies  clean 
things — preys  upon  weakness — maims  that 
which  is  beautiful  and  pure. 

He  takes  no  chances;  he  merely  takes 
away  chances.  He  piles  up  costs  which 
helplessness  must  settle,  but  he  makes  sure 
that  there  shall  be  no  penalty  for  himself* 

161 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Cad  He  recognizes  no  responsibility  to  society; 
he  is  a  wanton,  a  vandal,  who  wrecks  with- 
out recking.  His  quarry  is  always  de- 
fenseless. He  lies  to  innocence;  he  trails 
after  the  unguarded,  and  makes  of  want  and 
privation  and  hunger,  pack-brothers  in  the 
hunt* 

He  is  the  type  of  biped  which  fervently 
clasps  the  hand  of  a  trusting  friend  and  the 
hand  of  a  friend's  wife  with  a  still  more 
fervid  grasp. 

He  is  a  cast  lower  than  the  man  who 
"kisses  and  tells" — repulsed,  he  tells  when 
he  has  not  kissed.  He  breaks  the  bread  of 
a  household  and  then  its  hearts. 

He  gambles  with  sacred  things,  and  like 
all  welchers  he  pays  no  obligations  except 
those  which  the  law  itself  has  power  to 
collect* 

He  is  not  brave  enough  to  be  an  actual 
thief — he  lacks  the  courage  to  steal  little 
things  such  as  property.  He  is  a  hundred 
orders  below  a  Turpin  or  a  Shepherd  or  a 
Dalton.  A  bank-robber  would  despise  him. 
The  pickpocket  is  his  superior.  He  is  an 

162 


The  Cad 

"Artful  Dodger/'  roaming  about  amidst  The  Cad 
confiding  reputations.  He  robs  women  of 
their  good  names  instead  of  their  goods. 
The  chattels  of  society  do  not  attract  him, 
because  there  is  a  definite  risk  in  their 
pilfering — he  defaults  instead  with  the 
really  precious  treasures — faiths  and  dreams 
and  ideals* 

Technically,  he  is  not  a  felon,  because  the 
finer  ethics  have  no  jurisprudence.  Honor 
has  disdained  to  call  upon  a  Blackstone— 
the  God-spark  which  lifts  the  human  out  of 
the  chaos  of  beastdom  is  supposed  to  put 
that  into  every  normal  man  which  calls  for 
no  tableted  penalties  for  outraging  the 
sacred  fanes.  Society  fears  to  acknowledge 
the  necessity  for  the  unwritten  law,  but 
organized  justice  has  as  yet  unsheathed  no 
weapon  to  reach,  him  who  shatters  the  un- 
recorded code. 

The  knout  of  conscience  is  long  and  its 
leash  is  leaded,  but  conscience  cannot  reach 
beyond  its  range — it  can  only  strike  where 
there  is  a  target — it  can  only  hurt  where 
there  is  a  soul,  and  this  Judas  of  the  heart, 

163 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Cad  this  traitor  to  the  finer  instincts,  this 
apostate  to  decency,  is  a  mere  wearer  of 
flesh,  alive  only  in  his  appetites  and  his 
indulgences. 

We  have  learned  to  build  prisons  for 
theft — scaffolds  for  treason — pesthouses  for 
plague,  but  civilization  may  not  wear  the 
Crown  until  another  problem  of  segre- 
gation is  solved — until  the  day  comes  when 
there  is  no  longer  a  chair  at  the  table — a 
seat  in  the  club — and  a  shrug  of  indul- 
gence for  the  unnamable  cad. 


164 


It  takes  more  than  a 
snicker  or  a  jibe  to  kill 
the  impulse  of  creation, 
which  is  given  to  strong 
men  only  because  Prov- 
idence doesn't  waste 
her  real  bounties. 


J65 


THE  MARKET  VALUE  OF  OPTIMISM 

He  remembers  yesterday's  sunshine  while 
you  frown  at  today's  storms*  He  knows 
that  the  calm  will  surely  follow  the  turmoil. 
The  stabbing  stone  in  the  darkness  is  a 
happily  discovered  spot  which  he  may 
thereafter  avoid*  While  others  blame  Na- 
ture for  putting  thorns  on  roses,  he  is  glad 
that  she  thought  to  put  roses  on  the  thorns. 
He  is  grateful  for  the  palm  tree  and  the 
well  in  the  desert — realizing  how  utterly 
desolate  the  sands  would  be  without  their 
oases.  Amid  the  wreckage  of  disaster,  he 
sees  timbers  to  be  picked  out  for  the  re- 
building* When  the  wind  sweeps  down  the 
grain  fields,  he  plans  how  he  can  use  the 
straw. 

He  always  manages  to  find  a  bright  spot 
in  the  gloom — a  star  trying  to  shine  through 
the  clouds.  When  he  is  knocked  off  his 

167 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Market  ^ee*t  he  immediately  finds  them  again — 

Value  of     squares  his  shoulders,  tightens  up  his  pluck, 

Optimism    and  starts  in  to  straighten  up.     Instead  of 

discounting  the  promise  of  the  future,  he 

discounts  his  misfortune*    He  believes  in 

himself,  and  with  that  belief,  fertilizes  his 

effort  until  it  blossoms  with  result. 

From  the  beginning  of  time,  the  envious, 
complacent,  lazy,  half-hearted  peoples  of 
the  world  have  resented  his  fine  enthusiasm. 
Because  he  is  different,  they  believe  that 
he  must  be  a  fool.  He  is  insane;  he  isn't 
balanced.  He  is  abnormal;  but  it's  the 
abnormality  of  a  better  brain  and  a  more 
fluent  imagination. 

He's  a  soldier  of  the  foreguard,  marching 
ahead  to  open  the  way  and  make  safer  the 
journeys  of  those  who  come  after  him— 
who  move  onward  only  with  the  power  of 
their  feet  and  their  meat.  He  aims  higher 
than  he  strikes,  and  thereby  hits  a  fairer 
mark  than  if  he  aspired  lower.  He  sketches 
with  the  pencil  of  imagination,  and  even  if 
he  seldom  builds  his  towers  as  high  as  his 
plans,  he  leaves  the  specifications  with 
which  another  generation  can  complete  the 
undertaking. 

168 


The  Market  Value  of  Optimism 

He's  the  optimist — the  man  who  believes  The  Market 
that  he  can  do  it.    He  fails  time  and  time     Value  of 
again;  but  he  fails  in  his  work,  not  in  him-    Optimism 
self.     Even  if  he  went  but  halfway  down 
the  path  of  progress,  he  left  only  half  as 
much  still  to  be  done  by  the  man  who 
followed. 

All  that  you  have,  all  that  you  cherish, 
all  that  is  big  and  fine  and  worth  while, 
all  your  ethics,  all  your  philosophies,  all 
your  sanities,  all  that  means  most  to  you, 
all  that  has  brought  you  down  from  the 
tree  homes  of  your  ape  forebears — was 
believed  in  by  one  set  of  optimists  and 
achieved  by  another. 

The  General  who  thinks  that  he  can  win 
his  battle  does  more  with  his  optimism 
than  with  his  cannons.  Without  that  be- 
lief, a  hundred  battalions  and  a  thousand 
squadron  of  horse  are  halved  in  number. 

A  coward  can't  conquer  anything,  be- 
cause he  can't  conquer  himself.  A  doubter 
can't  help,  because  he's  an  enemy  to 
himself — a  traitor  to  his  own  cause. 

Nothing  that  is  hard,  nothing  that  bends 

169 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Market  men's  backs  and  strains  their  sinews  and 

Value  of     tears  their  souls  and  starves  them,  would 

Optimism    ever  be  brought   to  pass  if   an  optimist 

didn't  have  that  within  him  which  made 

him  feel  it  was  worth  while  to  endure  and 

to  suffer  for  the  sake  of  getting  to  the  place 

and  the  thing  he  wanted* 

Ability  doesn't  count?  knowledge  is  use- 
less; experience  has  no  worth  without  the 
driving  force  of  optimism.  It's  the  steam 
that  makes  all  the  wheels  go  round — it's 
the  sparking  plug  of  the  motor — it  starts 
things. 

Some  one  must  think  for  those  who  won't 
and  can't  think  for  themselves.  An 
optimist  had  to  see  the  steam  of  a  loco- 
motive through  the  mist  of  a  teakettle 
before  the  Baldwins  could  build  their  shops. 
He  didn't  anticipate  the  space  condenser 
that  whirls  you  from  New  York  to  Chicago 
over  night;  but  he  found  the  principle — he 
believed  that  it  could  be  done. 

The  architect  is  a  bigger  man  than  the 
builder.  You  can  put  dumb  wheels  of 
iron  side  by  side  and  cog  to  cog  and  make 

170 


The  Market  Value  of  Optimism 

them  do  most   anything — after  some  op-  The  Market 
timist  has  pointed  out  the  thing  to  do.  Value  of 

An  optimist  found  America;  an  optimist  Optimism 
built  the  airship;  an  optimist  rolled  in  the 
gutters  of  poverty,  but  even  in  the  gauntest 
hours  he  clung  to  his  belief  until  he  set 
together  the  fingers  of  steel  and  brass  that 
set  these  lines  into  print.  He  was  jeered 
at  and  sneered  at;  nine  men  out'  of  ten 
thought  him  crazy,  and  ninety-nine  in  a 
hundred  called  him  a  bore;  but  he  knew 
better  all  the  time,  and  so  it  didn't  hurt. 
It  takes  more  than  a  snicker  or  a  jibe  to 
kill  the  impulse  of  creation,  which  is  given 
to  strong  men  only  because  Providence 
doesn't  waste  her  real  bounties  upon  yellow- 
veined  weaklings. 

Every  time  the  stock  ticker  starts  to 
spell  financial  doom  and  the  fear  maddened 
hordes  of  depositors  rush  to  the  banks  to 
hasten  the  disaster,  half  a  dozen  optimists 
—a  few  men  who  believe  thai  courage  and 
grit  and  the  natural  resources  of  America 
will  always  readjust  the  balance — save  the 
nation  from  bankruptcy.  They  back  up 

171 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Market  their  belief  with  their  fortunes;  but  they 

Value  of     risk   nothing — the   risk   would   be    in   not 

Optimism    believing— they  save  themselves  by  saving 

the  markets*     The  most  valuable  stock  that 

is  listed  on  'Change  is  optimism,  and  it's 

worth    more    per    share     than    Chemical 

National. 

Anything  is  possible  to  the  man  who 
believes  that  nothing  is  impossible*  He 
doesn't  always  make  good;  but  he  makes 
good  oftener  than  the  pessimist.  His  judg- 
ment isn't  always  right;  but  many  a  time 
the  very  vehemence  of  his  confidence  has 
carried  through  an  undertaking  which  half- 
heartedness  would  have  wrecked. 

He  can  never  see  failure,  because  the 
golden  sun  of  ambition  is  always  shining  in 
his  face,  blinding  his  eyes  to  the  impos- 
sibilities. He  doesn't  heed  the  warnings  of 
discouragement,  because  higher  and  clearer 
than  the  little  noises  of  the  little  people  he 
hears  the  call  of  success.  He  must  be  what 
he  is*  He's  filled  with  the  mightiest  mes- 
sage given  to  man — he  has  been  touched 
with  the  God-spark  that  blazes  into 
achievement* 

172 


He  has  wrenched  the 
knocker  from  his  door; 
stuffed  his  ears  with 
cotton  wool  and  can- 
not hear  Opportunity 
when  she  does  sum- 
mon him. 


J73 


THE  MAN  WHO  THINKS  HE  HAS  NO 
CHANCE 

The  man  who  thinks  he  has  no  chance 
destroys  his  chances  by  acknowledgment 
of  self-defeat.  He  has  deliberately  blinded 
himself;  bound  upon  his  limbs  the  shackles 
and  chains  of  cowardice;  weighted  himself 
down  with  the  greatest  of  all  handicaps- 
despair.  He  has  wrenched  the  knocker 
from  his  door;  stuffed  his  ears  with  cotton 
wool  and  cannot  hear  Opportunity  when 
she  does  summon  him. 

Life  is  a  huge  kaleidoscope,  rotating  upon 
the  axis  of  time.  Every  day  the  earth 
takes  a  turn  that  readjusts  the  aspect  of 
existence.  Every  hour  reveals  a  new  pat- 
tern for  the  future.  Viewpoints  are  inces- 
santly altering.  New  combinations  of  cir- 
cumstance are  putting  novel  phases  upon 
affairs. 

175 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Xhe  The  highways  and  byways  are  shifting* 

Man  Who    The  wastes  of  past  centuries  are  awake  and 
Thinks   He  blossoming  into  fertile  areas. 
nas  JNo         ^  hopeful,  fearless,  ingenious  mind  can- 
not fail  to  behold  promise  everywhere. 

All  over  the  world  Industry  is  in  a  vast, 
seething  ferment.  From  Shanghai  to  Lima 
the  merchant  is  finding  new  openings  for 
his  wares.  From  London  to  Kobe  the 
manufacturer  is  planning  further  markets 
for  his  products.  From  Assouan  to  Death 
Valley  the  engineer  is  battling  with  the  arid, 
burning  clays  and  sands.  The  explorer  is 
roaming  from  pole  to  pole  for  new  fibres 
and  new  seeds  and  new  timbers  and  new 
earths  and  new  ores,  upon  which  new 
industries  will  feed. 

In  a  thousand  laboratories  the  chemist  is 
fitting  his  keys  of  research  to  the  locked 
secrets  of  Nature,  enriching  art  and  science 
and  commerce  with  wealths  undreamed  of 
by  the  dead  ages. 

The  river  is  wearing  a  leash,  and,  tied  to 
the  turbine,  its  waters  are  making  light  and 
giving  power  to  busy  wheels  for  miles 
around. 

176 


The  Man  Who  Thinks  He  Has  No  Chance 


A  new  empire  for  man's  possession  has 
been  conquered  by  the  aeronaut* 

The  ever-hungry  reaper  and  harvester  are 
gnawing  grain  and  grass  where  once  were 
Bad  Lands — crying  to  the  railroads  to 
follow  them — monster  needles  with  iron 
rails  for  thread,  stitching  fruitful  textures 
to  cover  the  bared  body  of  the  Earth, 

You  nor  your  children's  children  can, 
within  the  total  span  of  your  lives,  take 
advantage  of  all  the  chances  which  a  single 
decade  has  disclosed. 

Never  in  all  the  millions  of  years  of  its 
history  has  this  secretive  old  universe  dis- 
played such  riches,  so  many  generous 
opportunities,  as  now* 

The  only  man  who  can't  better  himself 
in  such  a  whirl  and  swirl  of  pioneering  is 
the  hopeless  incompetent,  the  laggard,  the 
sorehead,  the  idler,  or  the  half-wit. 

Courage  and  effort  and  imagination  and 
energy  never  knew  such  chances  since 
Cheops  went  pyramid-building. 

Wake  yourself,  shake  yourself,  and  DO. 
North  and  South  and  East  and  West,  the 

177 


The 

Man  Who 

Thinks  He 

Has  No 

Chance 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The         call  is  sounding*     For  every  atrophied  acre 

Man  Who    of  farmland  in  New  England,  there  is  a 

Thinks  He   homestead  section  in  a  Montana  Valley  or 

^Jf8  ^°      a  Canadian  prairie.    A  thousand  cities  are 

about  to  be  born.     Help  to  make  them* 

They  will  need  builderst  merchants,  lawyers, 

doctors,  manufacturers.     Get  a  map  and  a 

time-table. 

The  most  terrific  century  of  all  is  here* 
Share  it. 


178 


His  coat -of -arms  is  a 
sneering  frown,  sur- 
mounted with  funeral 
plumes  and  emblazoned 
upon  a  field  of  tears. 
The  immemorial  motto 
of  his  clan  is,  "I  told 
you  so." 


179 


THE  PESSIMIST  AND  ALSO 
CLARENCE 

He  turns  the  silver  side  of  every  cloud 
to  find  its  dark  lining.  Beholding  one 
maimed  petal,  he  bewails  the  fading  of  all 
the  rose.  His  to-morrow  brings  no  hope — 
no  rainbows  follow  his  storms.  He  is  a 
human  bullfrog,  constantly  diving  into  the 
dark  mud  of  existence  and  soiling  the  song 
of  life  with  his  chilling  croak.  He  seeks 
selfish  motives  in  every  benefactor — he 
bites  the  coin  of  charity  and  blackens  the 
pure  metal  of  generosity  with  his  miserable 
acid  of  doubt. 

He  peers  into  the  hearts  of  children  for 
guile  and  deceit — he  tests  the  golden  im- 
pulses of  great-souled  men  for  streaks  of 
brass — his  chief  happiness  is  the  pursuit  of 
misery,  and  when  his  hunting  is  successful 
he  divides  his  woes  freely  with  all  his 
acquaintances. 

181 


Herbert  Kaufman 


The 

Pessimist 
and  also 
Clarence 


While  all  the  rest  of  the  world  is  tugging 
onward,  he  is  straining  backward — a  clog- 
ging cog  amidst  the  whirling  wheels*  He's 
a  fussy,  grouchy,  disturbing  member  of 
society,  himself  unwilling  to  advance  yet 
unwilling  to  have  others  press  onward* 

His  coat-of-arms  is  a  sneering  frown, 
surmounted  with  funeral  plumes  and  em- 
blazoned upon  a  field  of  tears.  The  im- 
memorial motto  of  his  clan  is,  "I  told  you 
so*" 

His  eyes  never  lift  to  the  heights  of 
achievement*  To  him  all  that  is  untried  is 
untrue — that  which  is  undone,  cannot  be 
done — what  has  not  been  proven  must  be 
false.  We  all  know  him*  He's  at  every 
desk  and  every  elbow — so  busy  criticising 
that  he  keeps  others  from  creating — so 
earnestly  watching  pennies  that  might  roll 
out  that  he  overlooks  the  dollars  they 
might  bring  in.  He  swells  his  chest  and 
points  with  pride  at  the  expenses  he  keeps 
down  without  a  thought  to  the  revenues  he 
keeps  away* 

Don't  mind  him,  he  doesn't  count.     He's 

182 


The  Pessimist  and  also  Clarence 


just  a  stumbling  block  on  the  tip-road. 
What  he  calls  caution  is  merely  cowardice. 
If  half  the  energy  he  applies  to  retarding 
his  associates  were  bent  upwards,  its  force 
would  hurl  a  dozen  undertakings  to  their 
goal. 

Clarence  Nearsite  was  such.  Clarence  is 
no  longer  Chief  Pennysaver  for  Gettup  & 
Goze.  Clarence's  resignation  was  quite  a 
surprise  to  a  number  of  people,  including 
Clarence.  When  he  and  old  man  Gettup 
talked  it  all  over,  this  was  about  the  gist  of 
the  valedictory:  "When  I  engaged  you  to 
be  our  safety-valve,  I  didn't  realize  what  an 
intense  disposition  you  have*  You  have 
not  only  been  a  satisfactory  safety-valve, 
but  too  satisfactory — in  about  one  more 
year,  the  valve  would  have  been  the  only 
active  part  of  our  machine. 

"So  long  as  you  held  down  expenses,  you 
were  all  right,  but  when  you  got  enthusiastic 
and  started  to  hold  down  our  income,  too, 
I  sorter  felt  that  I'd  prefer  to  smash  the 
business  by  letting  it  go  too  hard  than  see 
it  lost  by  running  down.  Your  record  in  the 

183 


The 

Pessimist 
and  also 
Clarence 


Herbert  Kaufman 


The 

Pessimist 
and  also 
Clarence 


postage  stamp  department  is  irreproach- 
able— your  showing  in  lead  pencils  and 
rubber  bands  is  immaculate*  The  prices  at 
which  you  purchased  our  ink  and  scratch- 
pads show  a  marvelous  knowledge  of 
values,  but  when  I  look  over  the  list  of  ten 
dollar  chances  you  let  slip  by,  while  you 
were  avoiding  ten  cent  risks,  something 
tells  me  that  we  must  part. 

"Somehow  or  other  you  strongly  remind 
me  of  Bruno.  Father  bought  him  to  keep 
the  boys  from  stealing  his  apples.  Bruno 
did  manage  to  drive  the  boys  away,  but 
he  also  drove  away  the  commission  men 
who  came  to  bid  for  the  crop  and  so  Father 
had  to  dispense  with  him — he  couldn't 
afford  so  much  protection. 

"I  expect  that  we'll  lose  many  a  dime 
through  the  coming  year,  running  along 
without  you,  but  the  dollar-well  is  so  deep 
and  action  is  so  important  in  emptying  it 
that  we'll  take  the  risk  on  spilling  a  little 
bit  for  the  sake  of  keeping  the  buckets  full." 


184 


He's  all  right  as  far  as 
he  goes — but  he's  short 
on  practical  mileage  and 
Fate  always  kicks  him 
off  at  a  deserted  water 
tank  half  way  between 
Start  and  Finish. 


185 


THji  CHRONIC  FAILURE 

He  journeys  t  tough  life  with  his  head 
butting  into  the  clouds  and  his  feet  dragging 
through  the  quagmire.  He's  a  trance 
medium,  a  schemer,  a  visionary,  a  chaser 
of  the  "will-o'-the-wisp."  He  rushes  on 
without  seeing  the  road,  and,  like  a  charging 
bull,  he  doesn't  know  that  there's  a  stone 
wall  ahead  of  him  until  he  batters  himself 
full  of  bumps*  He's  searching  for  "X"- 
the  great  unknown  quantity,  the  twentieth 
dimension,  the  secret  of  the  ancients,  the 
magic  formula  of  the  alchemist  which  will 
change  the  lead  of  incompetency  into  the 
gold  of  results. 

He  deludes  himself  with  the  fool  idea 
that  he  can  get  wealth  without  getting 
down  to  hard  tacks. 

He  builds  weird  ladders  to  the  fairy-land 

J87 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Xhe         of   his   fancyt   but    the   trouble   with   his 
Chronic      ladders  is  that  they  have  no  rungs.    He 
Failure       tries  to  climb  up  on  the  steps  of  theory— 
and  his  progress  is  just  as  rapid  as  that  of  a 
sprinter  who  attempts  to  lower  the  hundred- 
yard  record  on  a  tread-mill. 

He's  imbued  with  ideals  instead  of  ideas. 
His  whole  career  is  an  endless  series  of 
rehearsals  which  never  eventuate  into  per- 
formances. He's  all  right  as  far  as  he  goes 
—but  he's  short  on  practical  mileage;  and 
Fate  always  kicks  him  off  at  a  deserted 
water-tank  half  way  between  Start  and 
Finish. 

His  brain  is  so  jammed  with  illusions  that 
there  isn't  room  for  conclusions*  He  never 
learns  that  a  man  must  buy  a  full  ticket  to 
go  the  full  journey — that  he  must  rear  a 
stairway  to  the  upper  stories. 

His  bridges  end  in  midstream — they 
never  reach  the  other  side.  He  sets  off 
down  the  thoroughfare,  and  before  he  has 
fairly  started,  the  first  crossroad  catches 
his  attention  and  off  he  goes,  without  a 
moment's  consideration  as  to  where  he'll 
land. 

J88 


The  Chronic  Failure 

He  isn't  lazy — he's   merely  hazy.    The         The 
amount  of  time  and  zeal  that  he    fritters      Chronic 
away   is   tremendous — it  doesn't  count  be-      Failure 
cause  it  isn't   concentrated — it   escapes  in 
all    directions*     He's    a    human    teakettle 
blowing  his  steam  from  a  dozen  spouts — 
he's  filled  with  force,  but  he  doesn't  drive 
anything  with    it.     He  has  the  power  to 
make  things  spint  but  he  doesn't  harness  it 
sanely — his   driving  belt   is  so  loose   that 
when   he    does    hitch  it  on  to  a  wheel,  it 
immediately  slips  off. 

He's  the  busiest  builder  in  town,  but  he 
shows  no  results.  His  foundations  are  too 
shallow  to  hold  his  walls.  And  when  he 
does  dig  them  deep  enough,  his  walls  are 
never  evened  up  when  he  starts  in  to  roof. 
He's  a  carpenter  without  a  spirit  level  and  a 
plumb  line — a  constructor  without  a  work- 
ing diagram.  He's  first  cousin  to  a  water 
bucket  with  a  hole  in  the  bottom — no 
matter  how  much  energy  he  pumps  into 
himself,  it's  wasted* 

He's  the  Chronic  Failure — the  man  with 
.every  sense  but  common  sense.  He 

J89 


Herbert  Kaufman 

figures  only  the  chances  for  success,  but 
doesn't  contemplate  the  percentage  against 
him.  He  doesn't  look  for  the  things  which 
are  likely  to  go  wrong.  He's  a  bad  general 
—he's  content  to  consider  how  he  can  win, 
but  not  where  he  can  lose. 

He  intends  to  be  straight,  but  he  isn't 
honest  to  himself,  and  his  self-dishonesty 
involves  everyone  whose  confidence  he 
gains,  and  so  he  seems  dishonest  to  them. 

All  around  him  are  average  men,  with 
fewer  natural  gifts.  They  attain  and  they 
retain  because  they  take  the  time  to  think 
before  they  start  and  to  finish  what  they 
begin.  They  don't  bother  with  "X" — they 
know  its  equivalent — they  attempt  but  one 
task  at  a  time  and  carry  it  out. 


J90 


You  can't  get  the  best 


of  him  because  he  holds 


on  to  the  best  in  him- 


self.   You  can't  keep 


him  down  because  you 


can't  keep  him  down- 


hearted 


191 


HE  KEEPS  ON  WHILE  YOU 

He  has  his  reverses — he  trips  and  bruises 
his  heart — grief  bites  into  his  soul — delay 
nags  at  his  ambition — the  frosts  of  ill-fortune 
nip  his  hopes — time  and  time  again  he 
walks  forth  in  faith,  only  to  sink  in  the 
morass  of  deceit — but  he  smiles* 

Life  has  been  as  hard  with  him  as  with 
you — he  has  learned  that  every  joy  must 
be  paid  for  with  two  tears — he  has  found 
that  today's  dreams  are  seldom  tomorrow's 
wakenings — but  he  keeps  on  while  you 
weep  on — he  trudges  forward,  always  seek- 
ing something  better — eternally  in  quest  of 
a  fair  sky  and  a  rose  by  the  wayside* 

He  isn't  a  philosopher  nor  an  enthusiast. 
He's  merely  a  real  man,  a  sitter  in  the 
Game  of  Life  who  knows  the  rules  and 
accepts  them — the  same  rules  in  the  same 

J93 


Herbert  Kaufman 

He  Keeps    game  that  the  world  has  played  since  the 
On  While    first  dawn  came  smiling  out  of  Chaos* 

rxT 6e^       ^^  ^>ecattse  he  is  a  man,  life  is  a  finer 
thing  than  if  he  were  a  sour-face. 

He  sneers  at  nothing.  He  judges  no 
fellow — he  has  put  himself  upon  the  scales 
and  has  seen  his  own  short  measurements 
far  too  often. 

He  is  charitable  because  he  has  known  so 
many  hours  when  he  could  find  no  charity. 

He  is  just  because  he  has  met  with 
injustice. 

He  is  daring  because  he  has  learned  that 
the  average  man  is  a  coward — therefore  he 
can  rely  upon  no  initiative  but  his  own. 

He  never  despairs — tomorrows  are  un- 
known quantities. 

When  in  doubt,  he  plays  confidence.  He 
chooses  a  lever  instead  of  a  drag.  He  is 
never  totally  a  failure.  When  he  loses 
much,  he  still  keeps  something — the  right 
to  respect  himself.  He  can't  lose  utterly 
because  he  can  only  lose  what  can  be 
replaced. 

194 


He  Keeps  On  While  You  Weep  On 

You  can't  get  the  best  of  him  because  he    He  Keeps 
holds  on  to  the  best  in  himself.    You  can't    On  While 
keep  him  down  because  you  can't  keep  him   You  Weep 
downhearted*    You  can't  defeat  him  be-         ^ 
cause  he  is  guarding  his  birthright  of  man- 
hood and  protecting  that  instead  of  the 
things  you  wantt  so  that  even  if  you  do 
win  he  does  not  lose. 

Back  in  the  40's  when  the  boys  set  out 
for  the  Coast,  Grandpa  Wilson  insisted 
upon  making  the  journey.  When  the 
mountains  tried  to  frown  him  back — when 
the  labor  of  trudging  up  the  pathless  rocks 
clutched  at  his  heart  with  tearing  fingers— 
when  his  wind  wheezed  through  tortured 
lungs  and  his  legs  crumbled,  and  it  seemed 
that  his  last  step  was  to  be  his  last,  he  would 
search  about  him  for  a  heavy  log  or  a  hefty 
rock,  place  it  upon  his  shoulders  and  then 
try  again.  The  burden  made  the  way 
doubly  difficult,  but  when  he  dropped  his 
handicapping  weight  the  relief  was  so  great 
that  the  top  of  the  mountain  seemed  to 
come  half  way  down  the  slope  to  help  him 
up. 

J95 


Herbert  Kaufman 

He  Keeps  None  of  us  can  tell  how  much  more  we 
On  While  can  endure  until  we  are  called  upon  to 
You  Weep  endure  more.  We  don't  know  how  far  we 
can  go  until  we  are  faced  with  a  longer 
journey. 

Imagination  can  be  turned  into  a  stilt  or 
a  pair  of  wings,  just  as  often  as  into  a  ball 
and  chain.  When  we  believe  that  things  can 
be  better  instead  of  worse,  we  make  them 
so.  Despair  can  only  exist  by  recognition. 


J96 


He  does  not  make  the 
common  error  of  con- 
fusing education  with 
intelligence.  The  world 
is  filled  with  good  brains 
which  have  missed  the 
opportunity  of  training. 


197 


A  FAIR  MAN 

He  gazes  at  life  through  a  window-pane, 
and  does  not  view  it  through  a  lens.  There- 
fore, he  sees  all  things  clearly — since  he  does 
not  permit  prejudice  to  distort  his  vision. 

He  continually  guards  himself  against  the 
error  of  diminishing  the  value  of  any  man's 
works  because  of  a  personal  antipathy. 
And  on  the  other  hand,  he  is  just  as  care- 
ful not  to  make  the  equally  great  mistake 
of  exaggerating  the  virtues  and  attainments 
of  those  whom  he  loves  or  likes. 

He  measures  facts  on  honest  scales,  and 
weighs  folks  as  he  finds  them,  not  as  he 
hopes  or  hears  or  wishes  them  to  be. 

He  forms  no  definite  opinion  on  any  sub- 
ject until  he  is  qualified  by  the  possession 
of  information  sufficient  to  reach  a  sane, 
unbiased  conclusion. 

He  does  not  heed  gossip  or  slander.    The 

J99 


Herbert  Kaufman 

A  Fair       one   is   bred   of   thoughtlessness    and   the 
Man         other  is  the  bread  of  malice* 

He  despises  the  anonymous  attack* 
Honesty  never  wears  the  badge  of  the 
sneak.  Truth  does  not  hide  in  the  grass* 

He  waits  to  hear  both  sides  of  a  quarrel 
and  insists  upon  maintaining  a  neutral 
attitude  until  he  knows  enough  to  judge 
fairly. 

He  admires  many  whose  essentially  per- 
sonal characteristics  and  inclinations  do  not 
appeal  to  him. 

Admiration  is  the  approval  of  deeds*  It 
is  a  calm,  clear  sum  total  of  abilities,  in 
the  addition  of  which  the  symbols  of  friend- 
ship do  not  figure. 

Many  men  in  whose  company  he  finds 
no  pleasure  and  whom  he  does  not  desire 
to  meet  upon  an  intimate  social  basis,  none 
the  less  receive  his  enthusiastic  approval  of 
their  achievements. 

He  searches  beneath  dress  and  under  ad- 
dress for  ability  and  stability.  He  knows 
that  tailors  cannot  change  the  cut  of  a 

200 


A  Fair  Man 

man's  character,  and  that  talent  is  not  al-  A  Fair 
ways  glib  in  its  expression.  He  does  not  Man 
make  the  common  error  of  confusing  edu- 
cation with  intelligence.  The  world  is  filled 
with  good  brains  which  have  missed  the 
opportunity  of  training.  Intelligence  is  an 
instinct  and  an  experience,  while  culture  is 
largely  a  schooling — a  memorizing  of  facts 
and  rules  and  incidents.  Initiative  cannot 
be  taught;  creative  tendencies  cannot  be 
lectured  into  a  head;  the  senses  of  honor, 
of  self-respect,  of  dignity,  of  charity,  of 
construction,  of  leadership,  are  birthrights. 
He  is  never  a  snob.  He  exercises  his 
right  to  choose  for  associates  those  with 
whose  ideas  and  ideals  he  is  in  sympathy; 
but  he  does  not  assume  that  the  rest  of  the 
world  is  thereby  wrong  or  inferior  or 
foolish. 


20  \ 


We've  equalized 
opportunity.  This  is 
the  most  that  society 
can  do— it  cannot 
equalize  men. 


203 


YOU  MUST  SUCCEED  ALONE 

You  say  that  you  deserve  success — then 
prove  it*  We're  sitting  in  the  jury  box 
waiting  for  the  evidence — ready  to  be  con- 
vinced— willing  to  grant  you  what  you 
deserve,  but  neither  anxious  to  help  nor  to 
hinder  you. 

Present  your  facts — show  results,  but 
don't  rest  your  case  with  words. 

Your  personal  opinion  is  of  absolutely  no 
moment;  it's  bound  to  be  biased.  Try  as 
you  may,  you  will  look  at  yourself  through 
the  glasses  of  self-interest — you  will  exag- 
gerate your  importance. 

We  refuse  to  accept  the  measurement  of 
your  own  scales;  they  can't  be  honest. 
Conceit  and  egotism  are  helping  to  weigh 
down  your  side.  You're  prone  to  mistake 
the  desire  for  the  ability  to  accomplish— 
inclination  is  apt  to  color  your  judgment. 

205 


Herbert  Kaufman 

You  Must  We're  cynical?  Why  not?  Since  the  be- 
Succeed  ginning  of  civilization  we  have  seen  most 
Alone  men  over-reach  themselves — the  memory 
of  the  world  is  scarred,  and  each  scar 
represents  an  experience  with  shirkers  who 
posed  as  workers — with  weaklings  who  at- 
tempted beyond  their  strength. 

Most  of  mankind  must  serve — only  a 
few  can  command.  Unless  we  are  impartial 
and  remain  judicial,  we  will  have  chaos* 
Men  must  adjust  themselves  to  their  proper 
relations  to  the  rest  of  society*  Progress  is 
a  matter  of  elimination. 

The  only  way  that  you  can  find  your 
exact  measurement  is  to  jump  into  the 
seive — it  can't  cheat.  If  you're  big  enough, 
you  won't  slip  through  the  mesh,  but  if 
you're  a  "cull"  you  must  be  sifted  out* 

Democracy  has  made  of  life  an  open 
game — in  a  free  field.  There  are  no  bound- 
aries or  fences,  except  for  those  who  deserve 
constraint  and  for  those  who  have  not  the 
power  to  climb  over  the  barriers  which 
segregate  servant  from  master,  follower 
from  leader* 

206 


You  Must  Succeed  Alone 

The  world  wants  its  powerful  sons — and    You  Must 
the  only  way  they  can  be  found  is  to  set      Succeed 
them  among  their  fellows  and  have  them       Alone 
demonstrate  their  supremacy  by  the  con- 
trast.    No  other  test  would  be  a  true  or 
fair  one. 

Leaders  are  not  discovered;  they  prove 
themselves.  Power  is  not  bestowed — it  is 
not  a  giving — but  a  gift. 

WeVe  equalized  opportunity.  This  is 
the  most  that  society  can  do — it  cannot 
equalize  men. 

If  you  are  lacking  in  courage  and  grit  and 
mentality — if  you  are  twisted  or  warped— 
if  the  vital  impulse  of  attainment  is  not 
bred  in  your  bones  and  surging  in  your 
blood,  all  the  legislation  and  help  between 
here  and  Mars  can't  more  than  prop  you  up. 

And  we  refuse  to  prop  you,  simply  be- 
cause the  other  man  can't  have  what 
belongs  to  him  if  we  handicap  him  by  giving 
you  assistance  and  demand  that  he  look 
out  for  himself. 

We  don't  care  what  your  parents  were — 
we  only  wish  to  know  who  and  what  you 

207 


Herbert  Kaufman 

You  Must    arc — what  you  can  do  and  how  honestly 
Succeed     you  will  do  it. 

Alone  You  can  have  anything  if  you  are  shrewd 

and  tenacious  and  lasting  enough  to  reach 
it,  but  you  must  attain,  alone* 

You  must  fight  for  your  placet  but  you 
must  fight  fairly  and  under  the  rules*  If 
you  break  them,  we'll  break  you* 


208 


Whenever  you  try  to 
hold  him  back  you 
simply  turn  him  into  a 
bow— you  bend  him 
into  greater  power,  and 
lend  him  the  strength 
to  hurl  his  shaft  of 
determination  twice 
as  far. 


209 


THE  MAN  YOU  CANT  DEFEAT 

He  isn't  afraid  of  failure,  and  so  after 
awhile  Failure  becomes  afraid  of  him. 
When  all's  said  and  done,  Failure  is  like 
every  other  bully  and  turns  tail  at  the  first 
hint  of  a  whole-hearted,  fearless  defense* 

What  if  he  does  stumble — granted  that 
he  goes  down  in  defeat  time  and  time  again 
—just  watch  him  fumbling,  crawling,  hus- 
banding his  strength  bit  by  bit,  gripping 
fast  with  his  last  shred  of  grit  and  his  last 
flash  of  wit — never  despairing — watching 
and  waiting  until  he  sees  the  chance  and 
then,  Zip!  before  you  realize  it,  he  is  on  his 
feet  again  and  up  against  the  wall  ready  to 
take  on  any  comer. 

He  keeps  learning  what  not  to  do  until 
he  has  narrowed  down  the  field  of  mistakes 
and  errors,  and  by  the  sheer  experience  of 

2\\ 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Man     elimination  he  knows  at  last  the  few  sane, 
You  Can't    safe  principles  of  success* 
Defeat  y^e  sjzc  of  a  ^as^  never  appalls  him — his 

courage  is  great  enough  to  lift  him  shoulder 
to  shoulder  with  any  emprise  to  which  he 
aspires;  his  resolution  is  the  most  terrific 
ram  that  ever  battered  the  walls  of  cir- 
cumstance* 

Errors  of  judgment  and  his  over-zeal 
repeatedly  hurl  him  to  earth.  But  while 
he  lies  on  his  back  he  doesn't  waste  time 
wailing  because  of  his  failing;  he  doesn't 
re-hash  the  past  and  moan  and  groan  over 
what  is  gone  and  what  can't  be  helped;  he 
takes  count  of  his  assets  and  figures  out 
how  he  can  return  to  the  game* 

He  doesn't  mind  the  broken  bones — 
they'll  knit;  or  the  bruises — they'll  heal; 
or  the  sprains — time  will  take  care  of  all  of 
them*  So  long  as  his  spirit  isn't  fractured 
and  his  determination  isn't  splintered,  he's 
not  shattered,  but  only  battered. 

The  mere  loss  of  goods  is  just  a  loss  of 
time;  if  he  hasn't  lost  his  manhood  and  his 
memory,  he  can  duplicate  whatever  he 

2J2 


The  Man  You  Can't  Defeat 

possessed     and     re-attain     whatever     he     Xhe  Man 
dropped.  You  Can't 

You  can  "break"  him.  but  you  can't 
break  his  backbone.  You  can  bind  his 
activities,  but  you  can't  tie  down  his  spirit. 
You  can  handicap  him,  but  so  long  as  he 
doesn't  handicap  himself,  he'll  win  out 
against  you  as  surely  as  day  must  follow 
night. 

He  puts  his  own  judgment  in  the  scales 
and  the  prejudices  of  the  whole  universe 
won't  outweigh  it;  while  there's  breath  in 
his  body,  and  hope  in  his  breast,  and  nerve 
in  his  meat,  he's  ready  and  eager  to  pit  his 
ambitions  against  all  humanity. 

Don't  waste  the  time  to  laugh  at  him,  to 
shrug  at  him  or  strike  at  him;  the  joke  is 
bound  to  be  on  you  in  the  end.  He's 
padded  all  over  with  self-assurance.  A 
sneer  can't  get  through  his  vitals.  Dis- 
belief and  incredulity  rattle  against  his 
sheath  of  confidence  like  dry  peas  upon  a 
stone  wall. 

Whenever  you  try  to  hold  him  back  you 
simply  turn  him  into  a  bow — you  bend  him 

213 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Man     into  greater  power,  and  when  you  let  go 
You  Can't    you  have  loaned  him  the  strength  to  hurl 
Defeat       his  shaft  of  determination  twice  as  far. 

He's  a  human  spring — the  greater  the 
pressure  you  put  upon  himt  the  further 
he'll  rebound. 

Opposition  is  his  whetstone;  it  simply 
puts  a  deeper  edge  upon  his  keenness. 

Every  unfair  dig  that  he  receives  is  a 
spur-tear. 

It  doesn't  stop  him,  but  sends  him  leaping 
ahead.  It  rouses  his  lazing,  lurking  am- 
peres and  kilowatts  of  force — it  calls  upon 
his  reserve  of  energy  and  sets  it  surging  and 
singing  through  his  being,  doubling  his 
horse  power,  intensifying  his  voltage,  until 
he  breaks  every  band  and  bond  of  oppo- 
sition. 

Don't  measure  him  by  his  years;  courage 
never  rusts  with  time. 

He'll  break  new  ground  for  himself  up 
to  the  hour  that  you  break  ground  for  him. 

You  can't  tell  how  he'll  finish,  until  his 
finish. 

214 


But  the  wise  old  Earth 
wags  her  aged  head  at 
you  and  pityingly  smiles. 
Mother  of  Creation,  she 
knows  what  mighty 
thing  has  been  deeded 
to  her  sons  to  be. 


215 


WHAT  SHALL  WE  DO  WITH 
THE  POLE 

Another  search  of  ages  has  been  ended; 
another  secret  of  the  universe  disclosed. 
A  new  leaf  has  been  added  to  the  laurel  of 
achievement* 

This  wonder-century  which  showed  the 
way  to  talk  across  the  vasts  and  whispered 
to  Invention  how  to  seize  the  highways  of 
the  air.  has  led  the  first  explorer  to  the  Pole. 

And,  of  coarse,  ewe  all  agree  that  it  <was 
very  ^wonderful  and  brave — a  deed  of  mighty 
courage — sublime — and  everything  else  that 
is  nice  and  praiseworthy.  BUT- 

When  we  pause  to  consider  that  it  has 
merely  shown  the  map  maker  where  to  rule 
a  few  more  lines  upon  his  globes,  and  al- 
lowed the  scientist  to  place  its  equivalent 
beside  another  long-elusive  "X,"  the  game 
by  far  outweighs  the  candle. 

2J7 


Herbert  Kaufman 

What  F°rt  beyond  these  things,  what  in  the 

Shall  We     name  of  common  sense  are  we  to  do  with 
Do  with     it?     How  may  we  use  it? 
the  Pole 

It  will  not  add  to  the  wealth  of  nations 

nor  simplify  processes  of  manufacture.  It 
has  no  market  value.  It  isn't  a  bed  of 
radium  nor  a  mine  of  gold — only  a  weird, 
wild  acre,  whose  trail  is  marked  with  tor- 
tured lives  and  haunted  with  their  trag- 
edies. 

When  you  think  of  all  the  long  bleak 
journeys  up  there  on  the  unpathed  ice,  with 
hunger  always  stalking  close  behind  the 
sleds — the  frost-fanged  blasts  that  no  furs 
could  withstand,  the  maddening  isolation 
and  the  wearied  limbs,  stung  ever  onward 
by  the  lash  of  courage,  you  surely  can't  be 
called  narrow  or  unjust  when  you  judge 
the  achievement  to  be  a  woeful  waste  of 
splendid  energy. 

But  the  wise  old  Earth  wags  her  aged 
head  at  you  and  pityingly  smiles.  Mother 
of  Creation,  she  knows  what  mighty  thing 
has  been  deeded  to  her  sons  to  be. 

2J8 


What  Shall  We  Do  with  the  Pole 

She  gazes  to  the  North  and  there  beholds        What 
a  spur  to  drive  the  laggard  to  the  fore.     Shall  We 
She  sees  a  dazzling  light  to  burn  away  the     Do  with 
mists  of  doubt;  a  tablet  to  endure  within 
the  halls  of  history  and  there  proclaim  to 
all  the  lands  and  all  the  times  how  all  is 
possible  to  confidence* 

The  chemist,  spent  with  years  of  futile 
trials,  will,  at  the  recollection  of  the  Pole, 
re-clench  his  teeth,  and  urge  his  dying 
courage  back  to  spreading  wing. 

The  artist,  pleading  to  his  brushes  to 
transmute  the  dream  within  his  soul,  will, 
by  its  grace,  paint  on  until  persistence  lifts 
him  into  genius. 

Inventors,  wearied  with  the  teasing  puzzle 
of  wheels  and  cranks  and  springs,  will  call 
to  mind  how  one  more  trial  found  the 
farthest  goal;  and  sped  again  to  essay  at 
their  jumbles,  will  find  that  Fortune  always 
answers  to  the  louder  Call. 

No  scales  can  weigh  nor  figures  tabulate 
its  worth.  Its  memory  means  another 
ampere  to  the  will  of  man — another  tendon 

219 


Herbert  Kaufman 

What        for  fas  tiring  arm — support  to  fagging  hope 
Shall  We     — fresh  resolution  to  repel  despair* 
Do  with         jt  ig  a  force  Bought  from  the  uttermosts 
to  nurture  that  in  men  which  makes  them 
climb  up  to  their  highest  destiny — a  ringing 
voice  to  cry  "I  cant  I  shall,  I  must/'  into 
the  hearts  of  all  who  truly  seek  the  Key* 


220 


You  must  come  out  of 
the  attic  of  theory  and 
elbow  your  way  through 
the  matter-of-fact 
practical  world.  The 
thing  which  ruins  the 
possibilities  of  half  of 
mankind  is  the  inability 
of  men  to  see  clearly 
the  distinction  between 
yearning  and  earning. 


22  J 


THE  MAN  WHO  OVERESTIMATES 
HIMSELF 

You're  a  wedge  trying  to  make  a  start 
at  the  wrong  end;  you  expect  to  find  an 
opening  which  will  fit  your  egotism  instead 
of  your  capacity. 

The  sooner  you  taper  down  to  circum- 
stancest  the  quicker  you'll  taper  up  to 
circumstance. 

You  want  to  begin  at  the  place  where 
others  are  content  to  finish;  you  hope  to  be 
an  oak  without  commencing  as  an  acorn. 

Careers  and  trees  are  wonderfully  alike— 
both  require  years  and  patience  until  they 
reach  their  normal  development.  They 
must  have  roots  before  they  can  mature. 
They  must  get  a  firm  hold  on  solid  ground 
before  they  reach  height  and  breadth  and 
branch  out. 

223 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Man  We  don't  know  what  is  in  you  until  it 
Who  Over-  comes  out  of  you*  Therefore,  we  demand 
estimates  evidence  of  accomplishment  before  we  believe 

TT«  <F 

in  your  accomplishments. 

We  have  learned  that  strength  wants  no 
favors  and  disdains  assistance;  so  that  if 
you  ask  to  be  fostered  in  a  hot-house  of 
favoritism,  we  are  skeptical  and  regard  it 
as  a  whimper  and  an  evidence  of  your  self- 
distrust. 

If  you're  confident  of  your  attainments* 
go  ahead  and  back  up  your  belief  by  attain- 
ment. Let  us  see  you  grow;  but  go  out 
into  the  open  where  you  can  be  tested  by 
the  same  storms  and  difficulties  that  the 
average  man  must  survive*  Weather  the 
weather.  Put  yourself  on  a  basis  of  un- 
restricted competition. 

If  you're  blown  down,  or  shrivel  up  at  the 
outset,  it's  either  your  fault  (you  haven't 
gripped  with  strong  enough  or  long  enough 
roots)  or  it's  your  misfortune  (you're  a 
weakling  and  lacking  in  the  sap  and  fibre 
of  survival). 

We'd  have  a  fine  sort  of  a  world  if  we 

224 


The  Man  "Who  Overestimates  Himself 

permitted  unproved,  untried,  untested  men     The  Man 
to  leap  in  and  abrogate  what  pleases  their  Who  Over- 
vanity*     Our  armies  would  have  no  privates    estimates 
—every  soldier  would  seize  for  himself  the      Himself 
field    marshal's    baton*    Our    battleships 
would  rust  in  the  docks;  there  would  be  no 
stokers — every   sailor  would  be   strutting 
about  the  decks  in  the  cocked  hat  of  a  rear 
admiral.     The  wheels  of  our  factories  would 
never    turn — every    worker    would    be    a 
superintendent  without  a  force  to  direct* 

Making  life  too  easy  for  you  would  make 
it  too  hard  for  everyone  else;  therefore,  in 
the  end,  just  as  hard  for  you. 

We  won't  help  you  because  misplaced 
assistance  is  hindrance. 

You  must  work  your  way  up  and  expect 
everybody  else  who  is  after  the  same  things 
to  try  and  hold  you  down. 

You  must  come  out  of  the  attic  of  theory 
and  elbow  your  way  through  the  matter-of- 
fact  practical  world.  The  thing  which  ruins 
the  possibilities  of  half  of  mankind  is  the 
inability  of  men  to  see  clearly  the  distinction 
between  yearning  and  earning* 

225 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Man  If  Y°u  honestly  believe  that  you  are 
Who  Over-  capable,  you  will  court  comparison  and  look 
estimates  for  competition.  You  won't  care  how  or 

TT»  *r  r 

where  you're  placed,  provided  you  have 
room  enough  and  time  enough  to  demon- 
strate your  superiority* 

The  cup-winning  thoroughbred  had  to 
pass  through  the  same  training  as  every 
other  yearling  in  the  paddock.  Otherwise, 
he  would  have  been  too  erratic  to  run  a 
good  race. 

You,  too,  must  be  taught  how  to  stick 
to  the  set  course  and  conserve  your  energy. 
You  must  learn  to  respond  to  intelligent 
direction.  It  won't  break  your  spirit.  It 
will  simply  save  you  from  wasting  it. 

Even  genius  must  be  restrained  and 
shaped  into  practical  form.  We  build  the 
machinery  of  commerce  and  government 
and  professionalism  on  staple  lines.  We 
must  plan  every  part  to  fit  in  with  co- 
relation.  We  must  replace  so  often  that 
it  is  dangerous  to  gear  any  segment  on  to 
our  engines  for  which  there  isn't  an  available 
counterpart  in  case  we  lose  it. 

226 


The  Man  Who  Overestimates  Himself 

We  demand  that  you  take  the  test.  We 
insist  upon  your  reliability*  We  must 
train  you  before  we  can  use  you* 

Until  Niagara  was  harnessed,  her  force 
wasn't  worth  as  much  to  the  world  as  a 
half-horsepower  of  brook  falling  upon  a 
medieval  mill  wheel* 


The  Man 
Who  Over- 
estimates 
Himself 


227 


Fate  frequently  post- 
pones her  settlement 
day  to  increase  its  hard- 
ship, she  often  lulls  the 
cheat  into  a  sense  of 
security,  and  after  per- 
mitting him  to  aspire  for 
the  finer  things  of  life, 
she  drags  him  down  to 
his  earlier  level  and 
collects  her  debt  with 
compounded  interest. 


229 


DISHONESTY  DOUBLES  THE 
JOURNEY  TO  SUCCESS 

Dishonesty  doubles  the  journey  to  suc- 
cess; a  crooked  path  mttst  always  be  longer 
than  a  straight  one.  If  you  have  the  least 
doubt  upon  this  point,  take  out  your  pencil 
and  make  the  test;  you  don't  need  an 
engineer's  degree  for  the  proof — just  a 
degree  of  common  sense.  A  man  is  never 
so  strong  as  when  he  stands  upright — the 
further  he  stoops  the  easier  he  can  be 
knocked  over. 

The  end  of  a  reputation  depends  very 
largely  upon  its  beginning.  An  unsafe 
foundation  continually  threatens  every- 
thing that  rests  upon  it.  A  little  more 
time  spent  in  beginning  life  right  will  save 
years  of  after-effort  in  setting  right  a  false 
start.  Reputations  must  be  built  of  sound 
timber  or  they  can't  last.  If  there's  a  flaw 

231 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Dishonesty  in  a  man's  record,  it's  bound  to  show,  and 

Doubles     the  more  important  he  becomes  the  more 

T  certain  the  disclosure.    A  faulty  beam  is 

c        v       never  in  such  danger  as  when  it  is  called 
Success  .  -  ^      Q 

upon  to  sustain  a  great  weight*     booner  or 

later  failure  is  sure  to  mark  the  man  who 
marks  his  cards. 

Swimming  against  the  tide  requires  more 
skill  and  endurance  than  swimming  with 
it;  the  man  who  isn't  straight  puts  a  terrific 
handicap  upon  himself.  He  must  play 
tug-of-war  single-handed  against  ail  society. 
The  strength  and  resource  that  can  suc- 
cessfully hold  out  against  the  organized 
opposition  of  public  sentiment  could  ac- 
complish tenfold  as  much  with  the  co-oper- 
ation and  good  will  of  everybody  arrayed 
in  his  favor. 

Every  now  and  then  we  hear  Weakkneed 
Shallowbrain  sophistically  remark:  "Don't 
tell  me  that  honesty  pays;  look  at  So-and- 
So;  see  what  he  has  accomplished;  and 
everybody  knows  how  he  made  his  money." 

But  Shallowbrain  doesn't  pause  to  realize 
that  if  "So-and-So"  had  not  paid  the 

232 


Dishonesty  Doubles  the  Journey  to  Success 

penalty  and  did  not  wear  the  livid  brand  Dishonesty 
of  disrepute  he  would  not  be  able  to  quote     Doubles 
his  record.  the 

Prison  bars  are  by  no  means  the  ultimate      Success  ' 
punishment;   iron   gratings   are   easier   for 
some    men    to    endure    than   the    grating 
contempt  of  their  associates* 

Wealth  shrinks  in  value  when  its  possessor 
is  despised  and  distrusted;  its  purchasing 
power  shrivels. 

Every  dishonest  dollar  leaves  a  trail  as 
plain  as  that  of  an  anise  bag  which  event- 
ually leads  up  to  the  man  who  carries  it. 

Fate  is  a  creature  of  whims.  In  her 
sardonic  humor  she  frequently  postpones 
her  settlement  day  to  increase  its  hardship; 
she  often  lulls  the  cheat  into  a  sense  of 
security,  and  after  permitting  him  to 
understand  and  aspire  for  the  finer  things 
of  life,  she  drags  him  down  to  his  earlier 
level  and  collects  her  debt  with  a  frightfully 
compounded  interest. 

An  obscure  man  attracts  less  attention 
than  a  well-known  figure — the  bigger  the 

233 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Dishonesty  crowd  around  the  pillory,  the  more  shame- 
Doubles     ftjl  the  emotions  of  him  who  stands  in  it* 

the  There's  only  one  way  that's  right,  and  all 

Journey  to  ,<       .< 
S      e is  other  ways  are  wrong. 

Success  does  not  cut  her  rates — her  terms 
are  net — she  does  business  on  the  one-price 
system. 

All  the  noteworthy  achievements  in  com- 
merce and  in  art  were  soundly  conceived 
and  accomplished  through  hard  work  and 
honorable  effort. 


234 


Deprivation  breeds 
appreciation.  Ambi- 
tion shrivels  where 
luxury  flourishes. 
Energy  grows  poorly 
in  rich  soil.  Men 
are  awakened  and 
quickened  and  spurred 
on  by  need. 


235 


THE  BOY  WHOSE  FATHER  OWNED 
THE  CANDY  STORE 

The  boy  whose  father  owned  the  candy 
store  missed  all  the  fan  of  wishing  that 
father  owned  it* 

He  never  knew  what  it  was  to  flatten  his 
nose  against  the  shop  window  while  he 
hesitated  over  the  relative  advantage  of 
investing  his  penny  in  a  lemon  sticker 
(which  would  last  for  an  hour)  or  a  marsh- 
mallow  peach  (which  would  delight  his 
palate  for  one  fleeting  moment  but  leave 
him  with  a  greater  longing  than  before). 

No  matter  how  wisely  or  well  you  chose, 
you  invariably  decided  that  the  selection 
had  been  ill-advisedt  and  so  there  were 
always  tomorrows  with  their  unrealized 
hopes. 

Wishing  for  things  is  by  far  the  best  part 

237 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The         of  possessing  them.    The  man  who  has  too 

Boy  Whose  much  at  the  outset  finds  too  little  at  the 

rather      encj — ajj  things  are  valuelesst  because  he  has 

^£?e   <     e  no  standards  of  measurement*     We  cannot 

Store        ^nc*  *ke  true  weight  of  wealth  except  upon 

the  scales  of  poverty* 

Deprivation  breeds  appreciation*  Am- 
bition shrivels  where  luxury  flourishes* 
Energy  grows  poorly  in  rich  soil*  Men  are 
awakened  and  quickened  and  spurred  on 
by  need*  We  learn  to  know  the  worth  of 
what  we  win  by  contrast  with  a  period 
when  we  possessed  less* 

The  man  who  has  cut  his  teeth  on  a  silver 
spoon  is  in  the  midst  of  riches  but  not 
enriched  by  them.  He  is  like  the  merboy 
whose  whole  life  is  spent  in  the  water  but 
who  cannot  experience  the  thrill  which  runs 
through  a  hott  tired,  dusty  youngster,  who 
has  trudged  half  a  morning  over  sun-baked 
roads  and  fields  of  stubble  for  momentary 
delight  of  the  shock  that  follows  his  dive 
into  the  swimming  hole. 

You  see  Fortune  isn't  so  lopsided  in  her 
division  of  bounties  as  she  sometimes  seems* 

238 


If  she  gives  lavishly  in  one  direction  she         The 
usually  takes  away  a  compensating  some-  ^°V  Whose 
thing  to  make  up  for  it.  ~  rather 

—f  .  Owned  the 

The  laborer  envies  the  clerk  because  his       Candy 

duties  are  lighter;  the  clerk  envies  his  em-  Store 
ployer  because  he  is  master  of  his  own 
business;  the  employer  envies  the  dawdler 
because  he  is  master  of  his  own  time;  the 
dawdler  envies  the  peer  because  his  status 
is  assured;  the  peer  envies  the  monarch 
because  his  position  is  supreme — and  the 
king  envies  the  laborer  and  the  clerk,  and 
the  employer  and  the  dawdler  and  the  peer 
because  they  possess  rights  as  individuals 
which  he  can  never  own*  The  circle  is 
complete — it  touches  every  human  of  every 
caste  and  class*  There  is  no  such  thing  as 
complete  happiness  through  mere  posses- 
sion of  goods  or  position* 

Happiness  lies  only  in  contentment.  Envy 
and  dissatisfaction  find  fruitful  soil  all  the 
way  from  the  ditch  to  the  throne-room. 

The  want  of  things  makes  progress. 
The  necessities  of  existence  produce  Men. 

239 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The         The  most  important  word  in  the  lexicon  of 
Boy  Whose  success  is  "must" 

rather          j^  js  ^  t^e  striving  and  the  struggling 

/-.      i         that  the  sinews  of  initiative  and  determina- 

Store        **on  are  developed*     The  most  useless  as 

well  as  the  most  unhappy  people  on  the 

face  of  the  earth  are  those  who  have  no 

duties*    The  man  who  works  gets  far  more 

out  of  life  than  he  who  shirks* 


240 


Easy  problemsare  never 
worth  solution — the 
great  rewards  are  always 
bought  by  terrific 
effort — little  men  can 
only  achieve  little  things. 
Windfalls  are  worthless. 
Nature  and  human  na- 
ture are  both  alike — all 
real  treasures  are  rock- 
bound 


241 


THE  WORLD  BELONGS  TO  THE 
FIGHTING  FEW 

When  you  lose  faith  in  yourself  your 
mainspring  has  run  down — the  rest  of  the 
works  are  useless.  You're  letting  time 
pass  without  making  a  record — you're  all 
wrong  inside,  and  a  glance  at  your  face 
shows  everybody  that  you  are  out  of  order. 

You're  just  occupying  the  space  of  a 
man — fit  only  to  be  directed  and  fitted 
merely  for  the  little  posts  in  life  where 
hands  and  feet  are  paid  for  by  the  dime  per 
hour.  You've  judged  yourself  and  passed 
adverse  sentence — the  world  won't  reverse 
the  decision.  You  can  no  longer  direct 
yourself,  so  you  must  be  driven. 

The  rest  of  us  are  not  cheating  our  hour 
of  opportunity,  and  since  you  don't  care 
we  haven't  the  time  to  care  for  you. 
You  can  come  wherever  we  go,  but  we  won't 

243 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  World  carry  you.     The  roads  to  everywhere  are 
Belongs      open.     You  have  the  same  right  of  way, 
to  the       j^.  no{.  j^e  right  to  weigh  upon  our  backs. 
Fighting 

Few  The    thing — the    only    thing — that    can 

save  you  is  a  rewinding  of  the  mainspring 
— Determination* 

Wishing  for  things  is  like  fishing  for  things 
— wasted  without  perseverance.  Thinking 
and  doing  aren't  the  same.  Good  ideas  are 
only  seeds.  They  must  be  planted  and 
tilled  before  they  can  produce. 

A  thousand  men  thought  that  the  airship 
was  possible,  but  possibility  couldn't  be- 
come probability  without  hard  labor. 

Instead  of  building  castles  in  the  airt  the 
Wrights  and  Zeppelins  and  Dumonts  built 
something  to  carry  them  to  the  castles. 
They  planned  and  plugged  and  figured  and 
failed,  and  kept  failing  and  kept  learning 
from  failure  until  they  could  soar  to  what 
others  merely  saw. 

They  fell  down  and  bumped  themselves 
until  they  bumped  into  the  right  plan— 
they  couldn't  pick  it  out  from  the  wrong 

244 


The  World  Belongs  to  the  Fighting  Few 

ways  tmtil  they  had  eliminated  them  by  The  "World 
test.  Belongs 

Easy  problems  are  never  worth  solution  T°J 7 C 
— the  great  rewards  are  always  bought  by 
terrific  effort — little  men  can  only  achieve 
little  things*  "Windfalls  are  worthless.  Na- 
ture and  human  nature  are  both  alike — all 
real  treasures  are  rock-bound. 

Thousands  of  men  had  that  in  them 
which  could  have  made  them  a  Napoleon 
or  a  Caesar,  a  Carnegie  or  a  Field,  but  they 
remained  nonentities  simply  because  they 
had  a  fool  idea  that  Fortune  keeps  a 
visiting  list.  She  doesn't.  She  hasn't 
stirred  from  home  since  she  first  went  into 
business.  Her  abode  is  way  up  among  the 
crags.  There  are  no  beaten,  paths  to  her 
front  door*  No  man  who  ever  found  it 
managed  to  leave  footprints  to  guide  an- 
other over  exactly  the  same  route*  She 
gives  nothing.  She  trades  and  she  drives 
her  bargains  just  as  hard  as  a  Monday 
shopper.  The  price  of  her  goods  must  be 
paid  for  in  grit  and  ability. 

Being  a  woman,  she  despises  a  coward— 

245 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  World  her  smiles  are  only  for  those  who  flatter  her 
Belongs      vanity  by  enduring  some  suffering  for  the 
to  the       favor  of  her  graces. 

*g  m2  jn  every  desert  there  are  wells — in  every 
stretch  of  sun-baked  bad  land,  there  are 
pools.  The  weaklings  who  wander  out  into 
the  sands  and  the  wastes  do  not  find  them. 
They  are  there  for  the  Fighting  Few.  The 
great  things  of  the  earth  are  not  for  the 
doubters — this  universe  belongs  to  the  sons 
of  strength.  No  field  of  endeavor  is  so 
barren  but  what  they  find  its  oases.  Some 
time,  amid  the  ruins  of  an  ancient  land,  a 
temple  will  be  unearthed  sacred  to  Success, 
and  high  over  the  altar,  hewn  into  the 
living  rock,  these  lines: 

"I  exist  only  in  the  Man — I  am  Human 
Will.  I  cannot  aid  those  who  seek  help, 
but  them  who  disdain  to  ask  it.  Those  who 
doubt  themselves  destroy  me;  they  who 
believe,  achieve/' 


246 


There  are  wonderful 
dreams  foundered  in  the 
ruts  and  wrecked  things 
in  the  dirt,  and,  some- 
where toward  the 
outset,  a  heart-hurt 
and — memories. 


247 


The  wardrobe  mistress  lingers  at  Nellie's 
door*  She's  waiting  for  her  peacock  cos- 
tume* One  of  the  pony  ballet  caught  her 
foot  in  it  before  Nellie  could  swish  the  train 
aside  and  the  rent  will  have  to  be  repaired. 
Managers  are  very  considerate — of  gowns. 
The  stage  is  a  place  where  lots  of  things  get 
wrecked,  if  one  is  thoughtless,  and  cos- 
tumes costing  up  to  $175  must  be  guarded. 
Nellie  wears  seven  imported  creations  in 
the  new  revue — Her  salary  is  twenty  "per." 

Perhaps  you've  noticed  Nellie — she  stood 
fifth  in  the  line — the  last  line.  For  the  past 
five  years  she's  been  moving  back — at  a 
distance  crow's-feet  and  loosening  chins 
don't  show.  (And  then,  too,  grease  paint 
and  rice  powder  help  some.)  From  where 
you  sit,  Nellie  still  looks  stunning.  Almost 

249 


Herbert  Kaufman 


The 

Windows 
of  Hope 

and 
Memory 


as  pretty  as  when  she  belonged  in  the  front 
linet  right  up  near  the  stage  boxes*  But  in 
fifteen  years  lines  come  and  go — some  stay* 

Hazel  has  Nellie's  old  place  now.  Hazel 
has  only  been  on  fifteen  days*  She's 
wholesome  and  young  and  rosy*  Her  eyes 
sparkle — her  limbs  are  all  life  as  she  whirls 
and  swirls  through  the  dances*  This  is 
such  a  gay  world — with  its  calcium  and 
tinsel  and  crashing  music  and  brightness 
and  cheer — without  any  of  the  worries  and 
sorrows — with  none  of  the  grinding,  binding 
duties,  but  just  freedom  and  independence 
—the  maddest  make-believe  all  come  true. 
Why,  only  a  month  ago  she  was  wasting 
her  days  in  the  drab  routine  of  matter-of- 
fact  home  life — an  ordinary,  usual  person, 
no  better  than  you  or  I — but  now!  At 
last,  Nellie  has  changed  the  sequined  robe 
for  a  street  suit  and  is  making  ready  to 
leave*  Hazel  walks  back  to  the  hotel  with 
her.  Hazel  is  pouting  with  disappointment 
—at  the  last  moment  the  little  midnight 
wine  supper  is  off.  And  so  tonight  she 
has  time  to  lie  and  think  of  things.  And 

250 


The  Windows  of  Hope  and  Memory 

Nellie,  across  the  hall,  is  thinking,  too — 
both  are  thinking  of  their  roads — of  the 
same  road,  but  neither  knows  that,  nor 
would  you  or  I,  if  we  were  peeping  at  it 
through  Hazel's  eyes  or  Nellie's* 

This  is  the  road  that  Nellie  sees:  A  long, 
winding,  twisted  way  which  runs  through 
years  of  tears  and  of  shattered  hopes. 
There  is  mud  underfoot  and  blasted  ideals 
are  strewn  about*  The  road  is  bathed  in 
sunlight  where  it  starts,  but  keeps  getting 
darker  and  harder,  and  the  farther  it 
runs  the  more  the  grade  waxes.  There 
are  wonderful  dreams  foundered  in  the 
ruts  and  wrecked  things  in  the  dirt,  and, 
somewhere  toward  the  outset,  a  heart-hurt 
and — memories. 

But  Hazel  doesn't  see  any  of  these  things 
on  her  road.  It's  covered  with  a  golden 
haze  and  has  a  golden  pave  and  it's  hedged 
with  rose  fantasies.  In  the  distance  dashing 
princes  are  prancing  toward  her  (at  least 
they  would  prance  if  they  weren't  motor-car 
princes),  and  almost  within  reach  is  a  castle 
(which  might  stand  upon  a  terraced  hill  if 

251 


The 

Windows 
of  Hope 

and 
Memory 


The 

Windows 
of  Hope 

and 
Memory 


Herbert  Kaufman 

this  weren't  the  year  of  J9IO  when  castle 
building  is  done  nearer  to  the  ground).  And 
all  along  the  road  are  wonderful  things 
waiting  for  her — fame  and  triumph,  lavish 
luxury,  happiness  and — 

Poor  Hazel  and  poor  Nellie — it's  really 
the  same  road — only  the  years  have  changed 
it  for  you.  We  all  see  the  road  differently 
at  the  end  of  fifteen  days  and  after  fifteen 
years.  We  begin  by  gazing  at  it  through 
a  casement  of  hope,  and  then  when  weVe 
lived  and  suffered  and  are  weary,  we  look 
back  at  it  through  the  window  of  memory. 

The  windows  do  it  all — the  road  never 
changes. 


252 


Active  critics  are  usually 
lazy  builders.  Men 
who  are  accomplishing 
most  in  the  world  are 
constantly  figuring  how 
they  can  squeeze  out 
a  little  more  time  to 
catch  up  with  their 
back  work.  No  real 
busy  body  was  ever  a 
busybody. 


253 


MIND  YOUR  OWN  BUSINESS 

There  are  three  sides  to  every  dispute — 
the  inside  and  the  outside  and  the  wrong 
side*  Make  sure  you  see  the  right  side 
when  you  pass  judgment.  But  before  you 
bother  about  the  matter  at  all  figure  out 
whether  it's  any  affair  of  yours  to  give  an 
opinion*  Chances  are  that  you  are  a 
muddling,  meddling,  interfering  butter-in— 
a  self-constituted,  unsummoned  jury  of 
one* 

See  to  it  when  you  chase  chickens  out  of 
your  neighbor's  garden  that  you  don't 
create  more  havoc  by  trampling  down  the 
flowers. 

Mind  your  own  business.  If  you  have 
one,  it  needs  all  the  attention  you  can  give 
it.  If  you  find  that  you  have  any  atten- 
tion to  spare,  you  need  a  new  sort  of  busi- 
ness* 

255 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Mind  Active  critics  are  usually  lazy  builders* 

Your  Own   Men  who  are  accomplishing  most  in  the 

Business     world  are  constantly  figuring  how  they  can 

squeeze  out  a  little  more  time  to  catch  up 

with  their  back  work.    No  real  busy  body 

was  ever  a  busybody. 

Lending  advice  is  like  lending  money- 
it  destroys  every  other  friendship,  A  still 
tongue  is  a  multitude  of  virtues, 

Get  out  of  the  habit  of  making  other 
people's  beds.  Keeping  your  own  com- 
fortable is  a  good-sized  life-task. 

There's  always  a  bit  of  glass  in  every 
cottage,  and  when  you  feel  the  desire  to 
break  somebody  else's  windows,  first  take  a 
squint  at  your  own.  If  you  look  with  honest 
eyes  you  will  see  enough  targets  to  occupy 
your  attention  without  quitting  the  premises. 

The  law  against  snarling  curs  is  not 
nearly  so  necessary  as  a  statute  against 
snarling  gabbers.  It  isn't  the  canine  who 
most  needs  the  muzzle.  Dog-bites  aren't 
nearly  so  deadly  as  gossip-bites.  They're 
easier  to  cure  and  far  less  poisonous, 
There  are  mighty  few  deaths  from  hydro- 

256 


Mind  Your  Own  Business 

phobia,  but  irresponsible  slander  has  piled        Mind 
up  a  mortality  as  heavy  as  that  of  war.    Your  Own 

"R      ' 

Men  and  women  struck  down  by  the  arrows     -Business 
of  rumor  outnumber  those  who  have  fallen 
before  the  rifle* 

The  man  who  shoots  off  his  mouth  and 
kills  a  good  name  deserves  as  much  pun- 
ishment as  that  other  type  of  prize  idiot, 
who  shoots  off  a  gun  without  noticing 
where  it  is  pointed.  The  fact  that  neither 
one  knows  "it  is  loaded"  doesn't  heal  the 
hurt. 

"See,  hear  and  speak  no  evil"  is  one  of 
the  first  lessons  implanted  in  the  mind  of 
a  Japanese  child. 

The  world  is  not  nearly  so  bad  as  it  has 
been  painted.  The  average  human  is  a 
pretty  decent  individual.  Folks  who  have 
the  habit  of  discounting  the  best  in  men  and 
women  have  gotten  the  viewpoint  from 
themselves.  A  thief  has  confidence  in  no 
man's  honesty — the  wanton  ridicules  the 
virtue  of  all  women.  They  who  constantly 
mistrust  are  most  to  be  mistrusted. 

Old  Doctor  Watson  made  a  practice  of 

257 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Mind        presenting  to  each  of  his  graduates  a  little 

Your  Own   printed  card*    "I  have  merely  taught  you 

Business     your  A-B-C's,"  he  would  say;  "your  real 

education  is  now  about  to  begin.     You'll 

find  life  less  of  a  problem  if  you  bear  these 

few  lines  in  mind: 

"No.  \ — When  you're  speaking  evil  of  a 
woman,  picture  your  own  mother  or 
sister  in  her  place*  When  you're  right 
you're  wrong. 

"No*  2 — If  you  think  that  a  man  is  a 
thief,  tell  the  police.  If  your  facts  are  not 
strong  enough  to  warrant  a  warrant,  they 
do  not  justify  the  accusation* 

"No*  3 — Distrust  'hearsay.'  It's  as  cow- 
ardly to  judge  an  absent  man  as  it  is 
dastardly  to  strike  a  defenseless  one* 

"No.  4 — For  use  when  you  can't  think 
of  any  other  rule — 'Mind  your  own  busi- 


ness." 


258 


This  is  the  land  of  new 
to-morrows.  Give 
yourself  the  same  show 
that  you  demand  of 
society,  and  society  will 
soon  make  a  path  to 
your  door. 


259 


GROW  A  SPINE  AND  MAKE  GOOD 

When  you're  down  in  the  dumps  and 
the  sun's  rays  are  blue — when  your  bank 
account's  short  and  your  face  is  long,  and 
you've  quite  made  up  your  mind  that  you 
haven't  a  ghost  of  a  show- 
When  you've  run  the  gamut  of  your 
friends  and  worn  out  their  patience  and 
your  credit — when  you  can't  find  a  living 
soul  who  is  willing  to  help  you  and  you're 
sure  that  the  game  is  up— 

When  you've  tried  to  get  work,  and  the 
only  work  that  you  can  find  is  the  work 
of  looking  for  it — when  you've  reached  the 
stage  where  all  life  has  assumed  a  lemon 
flavor  and  the  future  tastes  like  a  mouthful 
of  lye— 

When  you're  sure  that  nothing  is  worth 
while,  and  you've  begun  to  believe  that 

261 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Grow  a       the  world  has  gone  wrong,  and  that  you're 
Spine  and    a  football  on  the  field  of  fortune  with  the 

Make       whole  universe  on  the  eleven— 
Cjood 

Then  it's  time  to  remember  that  Helen 

Keller  made  good. 

Put  down  your  assets  in  one  column  and 
list  hers  beside  it.  Then  we'll  strike  a  bal- 
ance. 

Huh!    Why,  you're  rich. 

You  have  eyesight  and  hearing  and 
speech.  Your  limbs  are  sound.  You  can 
use  your  arms  and  your  legs  and  your  hands 
as  freely  as  ever.  What  in  creation  are 
you  wailing  about,  you  weak-kneed  welcher! 

Oh,  don't  start  cataloguing  your  trials 
and  afflictions.  They  don't  weigh  as  much 
as  a  feather  when  you  hold  them  in  the 
scales  against  those  of  a  girl,  the  mention 
of  whose  name  should  bring  the  blush  of 
shame  to  the  cheeks  of  every  man  who  has 
his  health  and  fails. 

Without  eyes,  she  learned  to  read.  She 
never  heard  a  violin  or  the  glory  of  a  great 
voice.  Her  tongue  never  framed  a  ques- 

262 


Grow  a  Spine  and  Make  Good 

tion.    All  the  things  that  her  brain  yearned      Grow  a 
to  know  were  walled  away  from  her.  Spine  and 

And  yet  she  made  good,  simply  because        Make 
she  wasn't  a  quitter.  What  Nature  wouldn't 
give  her,  she  gave  herself. 

And  yout  who  have  everything  that 
counts — all  the  tools  of  success — all  the 
unbuyable  gifts  of  Providence — wealth  that 
the  gold  of  a  strongbox  couldn't  purchase 
from  you  even  at  this  hour — you  are 
bawling! 

You  deserve  failure.    You're  a  coward. 

There's  a  chance  for  every  man  in  this 
country,  but  you  haven't  spunk  enough 
to  take  yours. 

The  prairies  are  yearning  to  become 
farms — the  rivers  are  eager  to  turn  mill 
wheels — the  cities  are  breeding  new  neigh- 
borhoods— millions  of  peasants,  ignorant  of 
a  word  of  English,  without  skill,  but  with 
doggedness  to  take  its  place,  are  earning 
bread  and  finding  homes. 

You  can't  be  helped  because  you're  a 
jelly-fish.  If  you  were  lifted  up,  you'd 
flop  back  like  a  soggy  sponge* 

263 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Grow  a          Start  in  and  grow  a  spine.    Wade  through 
Spine  and    your  self-pity  and  your  false  pride.     Dig 
Make        through  your  cowardice  and  your  fear  and 
Good        ftncl  the  man  in  yourself. 

Try  again  and  keep  trying;  try  as  hard 
as  the  blind  girl  tried. 

If  one  spot  is  too  crowded,  go  where  they 
need  a  crowd*  If  one  resource  fails  you. 
invent  another. 

This  is  the  land  of  new  tomorrows. 
Give  yourself  half  the  chance  that  you 
demand  of  society,  and  society  will  soon 
make  a  path  to  your  door. 


264 


Effort  is  chiefly  lost 
through  misapplication. 
The  men  who  know  the 
most  haven't  done  as 
much  forthe  world  as  the 
men  who  do  the  most. 
"Waiting  until  to-mor- 
row" has  destroyed 
more  businesses,  ruined 
more  lives  and  annihi- 
lated more  armies  than 
the  power  of  enmity. 


265 


THE  HALF-BALD  LADY 

The  eleventh  hoar  is  only  thirty  minutes 
long.  You  can't  do  your  best  at  the  last 
moment — fretting  whether  you'll  have  time 
enough,  consumes  half  of  your  energy. 

It  isn't  what's  in  your  head,  but  what's 
in  your  go-ahead — it  isn't  what  you  can  do, 
but  what  you  do  do — only  action  wins. 

Postponements  usually  end  in  post-mor- 
tems. The  men  who  live  in  today  have  a 
better  chance  to  reach  tomorrow  than  the 
air-castle  architect,  whose  dreams  keep 
him  so  busy  that  he  doesn't  busy  himself. 

Life's  a  treadmill — if  you  don't  keep 
stepping  you'll  fall  down  and  be  stepped 
on  by  the  man  behind  you. 

Caution  is  a  virtue,  but  when  taken  in 
over-doses,  like  some  good  medicine  it 
becomes  a  vice — it  hurts  instead  of  helps. 
An  over-used  brake  is  a  breaker.  It's  far 

267 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The         better  to  spoil  a  chance  than  to  neglect 
Half -Bald     it.     You  can  repair  the  harts  of  misjudg- 
Lady        mentt  btrt  what  has  gone  is  utterly  lost* 
Time  is  the  only  thing  that   can  be  de- 
stroyed.   The  day  that  has  slipped  away 
can't  come  back — the  old  gentleman  with 
the   scythe   and   hour-glass   doesn't   make 
round-trips. 

The  Greeks  pictured  Opportunity  as  a 
half-bald  woman  with  all  her  hair  on  her 
forehead — you  had  to  grab  her  from  the 
front — once  she  had  passed  there  was  noth- 
ing to  clutch  at — your  opportunities  have 
a  bald  side,  too. 

If  you  want  to  see  how  necessary  time- 
liness is,  go  to  a  play  and  watch  the  actor 
who  misses  his  cue — he  holds  up  the  whole 
performance.  It's  the  same  in  the  bigger 
theater — Life.  The  men  who  don't  watch 
their  cues  never  get  into  the  leading  com- 
panies— the  rest  of  the  cast  are  afraid  of 


'em. 


The  office  boy  who  forgets  to  send  the 
telegram  brings  the  discretion  and  reputa- 
tion of  his  firm  down  to  his  own  level  of 
inefficiency.  The  motorman  who  misses 

268 


The  Half-Bald  Lady 

his  schedule  involves  every  other  car  on  the         The 
line — the  last  member  of  the  dinner  party    Half-Bald 
discounts  the  punctuality  of  all  his  fellow        Lady 
guests — tardiness    is    more  than  careless- 
ness— it's  selfishness. 

The  most  powerful  machine  can't  move 
faster  than  its  slowest  wheel.  The  bird 
within  range  while  on  the  fence  can't  be 
reached  after  it  has  flown  away — you've 
got  to  do  things  while  there's  a  chance  of 
making  good. 

Effort  is  chiefly  lost  through  misapplica- 
tion* The  men  who  know  the  most  haven't 
done  as  much  for  the  world  as  the  men 
who  do  the  most. 

''Waiting  until  tomorrow"  has  destroyed 
more  businesses,  ruined  more  lives  and 
annihilated  more  armies  than  the  power 
of  enmity. 

The  boy  who  stuck  his  finger  in  the  dyke 
and  saved  the  sea  wall  of  Holland  did  as 
much  by  being  on  time  as  all  the  working- 
men  whose  years  of  labor  had  created  it— 
if  he  had  run  away  to  ask  for  information 
the  Netherlands  would  indeed  be  the  nether 
lands. 

269 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  WLen.  wno  do  things  on  time  save  much 

Half-Bald  more  than  time.  They  discount  the  dis- 
Lady  advantages  which  would  keep  them  down 
if  their  better  gifted  and  better  educated 
fellows  were  as  quick  and  as  steady.  The 
plodder  gets  along  because  he  goes  along— 
because  he's  not  a  waster — he  gets  ahead 
because  he  doesn't  lose  his  head. 

The  ball  team  with  a  man  at  first  who 
grabs  at  everything  that  comes  his  way- 
even  if  he  makes  a  muff  every  now  and 
then — is  far  stronger  than  the  nine  with  a 
crack  player  who  isn't  watching  the  game. 

When  Old  Judson  promoted  Smith  to 
the  management  of  the  New  York  branch 
there  was  a  howl  among  the  other  em- 
ployes. "The  trouble  with  you  fellows/' 
he  said,  "isn't  that  you  ain't  got  the  ability t 
but  that  I  can't  count  on  it.  You're  like 
the  chocolate  in  the  marble  cake — it's  there, 
but  you  can't  tell  where.  Smith  don't 
know  half  as  much  as  half  of  you,  but  I'll 
get  what  he  does  know  when  I  need  it.  I 
can't  say  that  he'll  make  things  move  faster, 
but  one  thing  certain,  there  ain't  no  time  in 
the  day  that  he'll  keep  things  from  moving." 

270 


The  man  who  comes  up 
from  bedrock  has  a  price- 
less hentage.  He  knows 
that  poverty  cannot  ruin, 
merely  check,  so  he  risks 
more  and  has  less  than 
those  who  have  been  set 
upon  the  middle  rungsof 
the  ladder  at  the  outset— 
whose  imagination  pic- 
tures the  loss  of  money, 
as  the  loss  of  everything. 


271 


WHILE  YOUR  GRIT  LASTS,  YOU  WILL 

He  didn't  know  that  he  could  do  it — he 
wasn't  sure  that  he'd  win — he  heard  the 
sneers  and  he  saw  the  smiles  of  incredulity, 
but  they  didn't  stop  him — he  believed  in 
himself,  and  went  ahead.  Occasionally 
he  fell  down,  but  every  bruise  was  an  in- 
vestment— it  was  a  record  of  one  of  the 
wrong  ways — an  asset  which  showed  him 
that  he  could  survive,  even  if  he  was 
knocked  over  occasionally. 

He's  the  man  who  wasn't  content  with 
candle  light  and  went  snooping  around  until 
he  managed  to  perfect  a  lamp,  and  after 
he  had  the  lamp,  he  yearned  for  more  light 
—he  kept  yearning  for  it  until  he  discov- 
ered gas.  But  even  gas  wasn't  pervasive 
enough,  and  so  he  harnessed  up  electricity. 

He  wasn't  praised  at  the  start — the  man 

273 


Herbert  Kaufman 

While       who  tries  never  is.    One  of  the  penalties  of 

Your  Grit    being  greater  is  to  rim  up  against  the  grat- 

Lasts,       ing   envy   and  lashing   skepticism   of  the 

'little  folk/'    But  it  takes  a  lot  more  than 

an  insult  or  a  cold  shoulder  to  chill  the  real 

winning  impulse. 

If  you  expect  to  be  coddled  and  cheered— 
if  you're  looking  for  approbation  and  en- 
couragement —  if  you  haven't  stamina 
enough  to  stand  alone  with  your  ambitions 
and  to  fight  for  them  'til  you  attain  them— 
you're  wasting  dreams.  It's  one  thing  to 
believe  in  a  theory  and  another  to  believe 
in  yourself.  Being  brilliant  is  only  half  of 
the  game — being  brave  is  the  other  half* 
The  road  to  the  laurel  grove  runs  up  the 
side  of  a  cliff.  There  are  spots  where  you'll 
have  to  hold  by  your  finger  tips,  but  if 
you're  not  willing  to  take  the  risk,  you  don't 
deserve  what's  up  top. 

There  was  a  time  when  strength  decided 
greatness — when  the  strongest  arm  and  the 
longest  wind  made  chieftains,  but  the 
tourney  is  no  longer  the  tilt-yard.  For 
untold  centuries  the  greatest  brutes  were 

274 


While  Your  Grit  Lasts,  You  Will 

the     greatest     men — the     same     instinct        While 
that    then    sent    their    clubs   swinging   at    Your  Grit 
the  physically  weak  still  survives.    They    v      Jr. 
don't  understand— they  never  did  under- 
stand— you  can't  expect  them  to  share  in 
your   visions.     They   must   touch   things, 
feel  them,   see   them,  measure  them — all 
their  senses  are  physical,  and  so  until  they 
see  you  higher  than  themselves  they  won't 
place  you  where  you  belong. 

You'll  have  to  pay  for  wanting  more,  or 
being  more  or  having  more.  They'll  tear 
at  you — they'll  wear  on  you — they'll  block 
your  way — and  hold  you  down  until  you 
gather  force  enough  to  squirm  away  from 
under  the  crowd. 

You'll  never  suffer  so  mtich  as  when 
you're  getting  the  least — you'll  never  need 
your  confidence  half  so  badly  as  when  you 
doubt  yourself  most. 

You'll  have  to  be  brave  in  the  dark- 
dogged  and  purposeful.  You  don't  need 
wealth  or  position.  The  want  of  things 
creates  the  impulse  to  attain  them.  Farm 
houses  have  bred  more  giants  than  middle- 

275 


Herbert  Kaufman 

While       class  competency*    The   man  who   comes 

Your  Grit    up  from  bedrock  has  a  heritage  that  is 

Lasts*       priceless*     He  knows  that  going  back  to 

ot*  bedrock  will   still  give   him   a  chance  to 

start  anew — that  poverty  cannot  ruin,  but 

merely  check,  and  so  he  risks  more  and  has 

less  fear  than  those  who  have  been  set  upon 

the  middle  rungs  of  the  ladder  at  the  outset 

—whose    imagination   pictures  the  loss  of 

money  as  the  loss  of  everything* 

Come  on  and  keep  on — take  your  time 
and  take  your  lickings — take  everything 
that  belongs  to  you — don't  sell  out  to  cow- 
ardice. When  your  grit  has  gone — you're 
done  with*  While  it  lasts,  you  will* 


276 


Why,  it  might  pay  you 
to  have  Tommy's 
mother  come  and  work 
for  you.  Her  system,  if 
applied  to  your  expense 
accounts,  would  save 
thousands  per  year. 
She  takes  a  great  interest 
in  figures  and  practices 
all  day  long— "six  pairs 
of  socks— forty-seven 
towels— eight  sheets— 


277 


TOMMY'S  MOTHER  AND  THE 
NEEDLE  GATE 

There  was  a  camel— a  very  foolish  camel 
—and  there  was  a  needle,  with  a  very  small 
eye,  and  the  camel  tried  to  thread  his  way 
through— eh,  you  know  that  old  tale? 
Well,  after  all,  it  isn't  really  our  story, 
which  is  about  Tommy — the  snub-nosed, 
red-headed  Tommy  who  works  for  you. 
Perhaps  you  don't  know  him  by  name- 
but  maybe  this  will  identify  him:  The 
shabby  boy  whose  cuffs  never  peep  out 
and  whose  toes  sometimes  do. 

It  is  unpleasant  to  have  such  an  unkempt 
youngster  about  the  place.  Call  him  in  and 
call  him  down,  or,  better  still,  send  for  his 
mother  and  insist  upon  more  care  in  his 
appearance. 

Tommy's  mother  is  worth  meeting;  she's 

279 


Herbert  Kaufman 


Tommy's 

Mother 

and  the 

Needle 

Gate 


quite  a  wonderful  person;  a  most  remarka- 
ble mathematician.  It  would  amuse  you 
to  see  her  figure  out  of  her  three  weekly 
washings  and  Tommy's  three  weekly  dol- 
lars, rent  and  clothes  and  food  and  coal 
and  wood  and  doctors  bills,  besides  the 
world  of  other  things  that  people  must  have 
if  they  must  live*  Why,  it  might  pay  you 
to  have  Tommy's  mother  come  and  work 
for  you;  her  system,  if  applied  to  your 
expense  accounts,  would  save  thousands 
of  dollars  in  the  course  of  a  year.  She 
takes  a  great  interest  in  figures; she  practices 
all  day  long— "six  pairs  of  socks — forty- 
seven  towels — eight  sheets"- 

But  then  Tommy's  mother  is  able  in  so 
many  ways — a  veritable  admirable  Crich- 
toness:  laundry  proprietress  (and  also  de- 
livery wagon  for  the  laundry),  cook,  nurse- 
maid, seamstress,  upstairs-downstairs-and- 
general-utility-maid — but  no  woman  ever 
knows  what  is  in  her  until  the  heel  of  pov- 
erty begins  to  grind  it  out  of  her.  And 
then  a  very  strange  thing  happens;  she 
grows  so  healthy  that  she  doesn't  go  to  bed 

280 


Tommy's  Mother  and  the  Needle  Gate 


on  account  of  headaches  or  feel  that  it's  at 
all  necessary  to  rtm  to  the  mountains  and 
tmprostrate  her  nerves.  It's  really  more 
wonderful  than  the  faith  cure — this  pov- 
erty cure.  (Next  time  your  wife  com- 
plains, look  her  over  and  consider  how 
much  good  it  might  do  her.) 

Any  mother  who  can  perform  so  many 
other  marvels  of  industry  has  no  excuse  for 
neglecting  the  hole  in  Tommy's  pants. 
She's  growing  careless — that's  it.  She's 
probably  wasting  her  time  planning  Easter 
costumes*  Oh,  these  women — they  require 
so  much  reflection  before  they  can  decide 
between  a  mauve  messaline  over  gray 
taffeta  or  a  pale  lavender  Panama  cloth 
with  baby  Irish.  (This  spring's  delicate 
tints,  if  unwisely  chosen,  are  apt  to  play 
havoc  with  the  complexion.) 

But  it's  quite  possible  that  Tommy's 
mother  is  really  made  of  the  same  meat 
and  strung  with  the  same  nerves  as  your 
wife;  and  sixteen  hours  of  day-after-day 
drudging  to  half-feed  and  half-clothe  her 
babies  may  have  so  numbed  and  blinded 

281 


Tommy's 

Mother 

and  the 

Needle 

Gate 


Tommy's 

Mother 

and  the 

Needle 

Gate 


Herbert  Kaufman 

her  that  she  misses  sight  of  such  a  big  thing 
as  a  little  rent  in  a  boy's  suit* 

All  of  which  foregoing  dribble  is  rank  senti- 
mentality, in  'which  neither  of  as  believes. 

But  (for  argument  sake)  suppose  you 
were  sentimental  and  did  believe  in  things, 
and  suppose  you  took  Tommy  down  the 
street  and  made  ten  dollars  behave  like  a 
complete  wardrobe  (the  same  kind  of  a 
ten-dollar  bill  which  paid  for  the  wine  after 
theater  last  night),  and  suppose— 

But,  as  we  just  agreed,  neither  of  us  is  senti- 
mental.  Still,  if  we  were,  and  there  is  a 
needle-eyed  gate  somewhere  between  here 
and  hereafter,  mightn't  it  be  possible  that 
you  could  squirm  through  it  more  readily 
if  your  pockets  were  thinned  out  occas- 
ionally for  Tommy — in  which  case  his 
mother  might  know  a  prayer  that  would 
help  out,  if  the  eye  squeezed  very  hard? 


282 


If  you  don't  believe  in 
yourself,  you've  lost 
before  you've  fought. 
Give  yourself  half  the 
show  that  you'd  ask 
from  anyone  else  and 
you've  won  the  greatest 
part  of  your  battle  and 
gamed  the  allegiance  of 
at  least  one  firm  believer 
to  take  the  place  of  a 
traitor. 


283 


THE  MOST  USELESS  THING 
IN  THE  WORLD 

Hurry  more  and  you'll  worry  less.  You 
can't  gain  by  moping  and  you  may  attain 
by  hoping.  Regret  is  a  poor  cement — it 
can't  mend  anything.  Don't  poison  to- 
morrow's hope  with  yesterday's  despair. 
Nothing  can  be  half  as  bad  as  you  can 
picture  it.  The  amount  of  vitality  it  takes 
to  chew  the  cud  of  misfortune  will  extract 
enough  mental  nutrition  to  create  another 
fortune. 

Work  it  off!  Worry  is  a  disease  of  idlers. 
Despair  is  a  fungus — a  parasite  that  absorbs 
the  vitality  of  the  will.  No  man  can  keep 
the  same  head  filled  with  energetic  ambi- 
tions and  enervating  doubts. 

You  discount  on  the  wrong  end.  Shift. 
Try  the  other  side  and  maybe  you'll  get  a 

285 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Most    view-point  which  shows  that  you're  half 
Useless      as  badly  off. 

the  World  ^  ^ot<  don't  ^e^eve  m  yourself,  you've 
lost  before  you've  fought.  Master  your 
fears — just  give  yourself  the  show  that 
you'd  ask  from  anyone  else  and  you've 
won  the  greatest  part  of  your  battle  because 
you've  gained  the  allegiance  of  at  least  one 
firm  believer  to  take  the  place  of  a  traitor. 

Perk  up!  Get  the  yellow  paint  out  of 
your  veins  and  instead  fill  them  with  the 
blood  of  determination.  Control  yourself 
and  you  needn't  bother  about  the  rest 
of  us. 

Granted  that  you  have  your  troubles- 
forget  them.  They're  the  most  thoroughly 
useless  things  on  the  face  of  the  earth. 
Grow  busy  and  they'll  grow  small. 

Worry  is  like  a  mold — it  can't  get  hold 
of  anything  that's  moving  any  more  than 
a  creeper  can  cling  on  a  spinning  fly-wheel. 

If  you're  threatened  with  reverses, 
remember  that  rain  doesn't  fall  from  every 
storm  cloud.  Each  hour  that  intervenes 

286 


The  Most  Useless  Thing  in  the  World 

gives  you  an  opportunity  to  find  an  um- 
brella— to  plan  some  way  of  surviving. 

No  man  can  do  his  best  when  he  is  tied 
hand  and  foot  with  his  doubts  and  shackled 
with  fright* 

The  last  barrier  thrown  up  at  the  last 
moment  has  saved  more  than  one  army 
from  annihilation.  So  long  as  you  can 
stand,  remember  that  you're  not  downed— 
so  long  as  you  can  hope,  there's  a  chance 
to  fulfill  the  hope.  You  can  always  be  de- 
feated— that  will  take  care  of  itself  without 
any  aid  from  you. 

Every  other  failure  is  through  fear. 
Grit  is  the  biggest  asset  you  can  own.  Old 
Man  Hallowell  didn't  think  more  of  a  dol- 
lar than  you  think  of  your  right  eye,  but  he 
loved  pluck  more  than  money  because 
pluck  is  the  mold  in  which  money  is  minted. 
He  built  his  fortune  by  backing  up  men 
who  never  backed  down. 

Charlie  Walters  might  have  been  even 
as  big  as  he  thought  himself  if  he  had  kept 
his  nerve  keyed  up  to  the  same  pitch  as 
his  fear,  but  the  Old  Man  caught  him  look- 

287 


The  Most 

Useless 

Thing  in 

the  World 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Most    mg  over  an  insurance  prospectus  one  day. 

Useless      It  was  just  when   Charlie's  concern  was 

Thing  in     getting  it  hard  from  a  half  dozen  quarters 

,  <      \Y7     f/4 

:  world  ancj  HallowelTs  backing  was  the  very  back- 
bone of  his  resources* 

"What's  the  matter,  Charlie?"  Hallo- 
well  asked. 

"Oh,  nothing,  I  was  just  figuring  on  some 
more  life  insurance.  You  see  there's  just 
one  chance  that  we  may  go  to  the  wall, 
and  I  thought  I'd  look  out  for  the  future." 

"Charlie,"  said  Hallowell,  "instead  of 
figuring  over  those  policies,  you  sit  right 
down  and  figure  who'd  be  likely  to  buy 
my  interest.  I'm  through.  I'll  follow  a 
fighter  to  hell,  but  I  won't  follow  a  flunker 
to  the  corner.  Since  you've  reached  the 
conclusion  that  there's  one  chance  of  our 
failing,  I've  made  up  my  mind  that  we 
haven't  a  chance.  You  ain't  got  the  stuff 
in  you  to  win — you  can't  down  your  own 
nerves.  If  you'd  spent  more  time  calculat- 
ing how  to  beat  this  game  instead  of  abus- 
ing your  days  and  nights  snooping  around 
for  pitfalls,  you  and  me  would  still  be  'we.' 

288 


The  Most  Useless  Thing  in  the  World 

When  a  man  is  looking  for  trouble,  his  eyes    The  Most 
become  telescopes — he  can  see  it  on  Mars.      Useless 
A  leader  who  don't  believe  in  his  own  cause     Thing  in 
ain't  got  any.    You've  kept  worrying  and    **1C  World 
worrying    over    nothing — now    begin    to 
bother    over    something.      It's    happened. 
Any  man  who  worries  long  enough  won't 
be  disappointed." 


289 


There  must  be  a  cause 
behind  those  who  find 
battles  before  them. 
The  mercenary  is  never 
a  soldier— he's  fighting 
for  money  and  not  for  a 
cause— he's  a  hired  man 
whose  sword  can  only 
be  driven  with  his  brute 
strength— he  cannot 
strike  with  the  courage 
of  his  convictions. 


29J 


THE  MAN  WHO  JUST  WANTS  MONEY 

The  man  who  plays  the  game  is  the  man 
who  gets  the  gain;  he  fights  for  more  than 
the  award.  To  him  the  prize  means  noth- 
ing unless  it  stands  for  something — unless 
it  is  a  token  of  victory. 

There  must  be  a  cause  behind  those 
who  find  battles  before  them.  The  mer- 
cenary is  never  a  soldier — he's  fighting  for 
a  money  and  not  for  a  cause — he's  a 
hired  man  whose  sword  can  only  be  driven 
with  his  brute  strength — he  cannot  strike 
with  the  courage  of  his  convictions. 

The  Hessians  fell  like  grain  before  the 
reaper;  they  had  no  flag  to  inspire  them. 
They  marched  into  the  conflict  under  the 
lash  of  avarice,  and  so  they  could  not  en- 
dure against  the  untrained  laymen — the 

293 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Man     farmers  and  the  tradesmen  and  the  artisans 

Who  Just    — who    opposed    desultory    ranks    against 

Wants       their  trained  formations,  but  who  flailed 

Money       them  to  the  ground  simply  because  it  was 

more  than  mere  muscle  and  drill  manual 

that  dug  their  bayonets    and   sped   their 

bullets — they  were  not  aiming  at  men  but 

at  a  menace — they  were  not   fighting  for 

pay  but  for  patriotism. 

The  man  who  does  not  strain  for  the  joy 
of  conquest  or  the  defense  of  right — who 
does  not  match  wit  and  tenacity  for  the 
glory  of  reaching  something  beyond,  makes 
of  his  struggle  a  labor.  He  is  like  the  pro- 
fessional gambler  (who  leads"  the  dullest 
and  the  most  sordid  of  lives) — he  counts 
the  winnings  and  not  the  winning.  His 
sordidness  cheats  him  of  the  delight  and 
thrill  of  the  game.  The  sprinter  who  sees  a 
purse  at  the  end  of  the  course  can't  get 
that  into  his  legs  which  will  carry  him  past 
his  rival  racing  toward  the  pot  at  the  end 
of  the  rainbow — who  is  filled  with  something 
of  a  finer  texture — who  hears  a  cheer  instead 

294 


The  Man  Who  Just  Wants  Money 

of  a  clink  when  he  hurls  himself  against     The  Man 
the  tape.  Who  Just 

The  biggest  things  that  this  world  has 
seen  were  wrought  for  the  sake  of  the  fame 
and  glory  that  came  out  of  their  achievement. 

The  lust  for  possession  is  futile  against 
the  thirst  for  mastery — the  longing  to  be 
respected  and  admired  and  famous  is  a 
sharper  spur  than  the  dig  of  greed. 

Love  is  the  most  beautiful  part  of  life 
and  love  cannot  be  bought — whether  it  be 
the  love  of  a  woman  or  the  love  of  friends 
or  the  love  of  self-respect  or  the  love  of  a 
people — the  very  act  of  purchase  makes 
purchasing  impossible. 

The  mightier  compensations  must  be 
earned — they  are  not  ticketed  with  a  price. 
Fame,  affection  and  admiration  have  no 
stalls  in  the  Market  Place.  The  Esau 
who  traffics  his  birthrights  for  dishes  of 
golden  pottage  takes  away  a  tasteless  mess. 

The  man  who  merely  wants  money  is 
perpetually  starving — he  can  never  have 
enough  of  it — no  matter  how  much  he 

295 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Man     secures,  there  is  still  more  to  be  hadt  and  to 
Who  Just    the  end  of  his  days   he    is  a  slave  on  the 
Wants       treadmill  of  the  gods,  driven  on  and  on  over 
Money       t^e  whirling  paddles  of  the  wheel  of  Mam- 
mon— as    ridiculous     as    an    old    Dobbin, 
futilely  jogging  after  the  sack  of  oats  for- 
ever dangling  just  beyond  his  nose* 


296 


The  right  man  can't  be 
kept  out  of  his  rights. 
You  can't  hold  him 
from  his  proper  place. 
You  can  merely  drive 
him  from  your  place. 
He  won't  do  his  best 
for  you  unless  you  prove 
to  him  that  he  is  doing 
the  best  for  himself. 


297 


DON'T  TRY  TO  UNDER-PAY 

You  won't  fare  far  if  you  don't  share  fair, 
A  leader  must  have  followers,  and  others 
will  not  fight  for  you  if  they  must  fight  with 
you.  Inappreciation  destroys  organization. 

Even  royalty  cannot  exist  without  loyalty. 
Empires  are  not  built  by  kings  alone.  The 
throne  of  Napoleon  was  reared  upon  the 
batons  of  his  marshals*  Generosity  carried 
him  further  than  selfishness.  The  crown 
of  France  was  his  reward  for  his  rewards. 

Men  will  not  serve  well  unless  they  are 
served  well.  There's  but  one  standard 
which  inspires  absolute  allegiance — which 
arouses  the  utmost  energy  and  tenacity 
and  zeal — the  banner  of  self-interest,  the 
one  flag  which  is  never  waved  in  vain. 

Ability  constantly  seeks  its  best  market 
place.  The  worker  who  is  under-paid  first 
becomes  a  shirker  and  eventually  a  deserter, 

299 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Don't  An  employer  who  does  not  divide  his  profits 
Try  to  with  those  who  helped  to  make  them  will 
Unoer-Fay  not  profit  through  his  over-share*  He  can- 
not bind  men  to  his  service  by  blinding 
them  to  the  value  of  their  services.  Com- 
petition is  always  waiting  and  watching  to 
post  his  helpers  upon  the  current  price  of 
merit. 

When  men  resign  under  the  lash  of  in- 
gratitude, they  consider  the  old  books  bal- 
anced when  the  old  desk  is  closed  and  feel 
justified  in  using  all  their  experience  and 
training  and  information  for  the  benefit 
of  their  next  paymasters. 

The  right  man  can't  be  kept  out  of  his 
rights.  You  can't  hold  him  from  his  proper 
place.  You  can  merely  drive  him  from 
your  place.  He  won't  do  his  best  for  you 
unless  you  prove  to  him  that  he  is  doing 
the  best  for  himself.  Shrewdness  makes 
partners  of  all  subordinates  in  whom  there 
is  the  making  of  competitors. 

It  was  not  so  much  the  merchandising 
skill  of  Marshall  Field  as  his  knowledge  of 
human  nature  which  established  him  as 

300 


Don't  Try  to  Under-Pay 

the  most  eminent  storekeeper  of  his  era*       Don't 
His  genius  never  displayed  itself  so  clearly       Try  to 
as  in  that  policy  which  led  even  the  cash   Under-Pay 
boy  to  think  that  it  lay  entirely  with  him- 
self to  become  a  part  owner.    He  doubled 
the  efficiency  of  his  employes  by  doubling 
their  ambition.    He  knew  that  his  clerks 
would  require  little  watching  or  coaching  if 
they  could  be  made  to  feel  that  only  neg- 
ligence and  listlessness  would  hold  them  in 
minor  positions. 

Old  Sam  Southgate  celebrated  his  six- 
tieth anniversary  by  putting  four  new 
names  on  the  firm's  stationery.  "I'm  in- 
dulging in  a  real  birthday  present,"  he 
said,  *  —peace  of  mind.  You  boys  know 
all  the  weak  spots  of  this  business  and  I 
don't  mean  to  have  my  rivals  get  hold  of 
you  and  batter  me  to  pieces  in  my  old  age. 
Oh,  don't  thank  me;  I'm  looking  out  for 
myself;  I'm  simply  buying  an  insurance 
policy  on  my  past  efforts.  If  I  died  to- 
morrow my  wife  wouldn't  know  how  to 
run  things,  and  for  fear  of  bad  management 
on  her  part  I'm  selecting  you  to  make  sure 

301 


Herbert  Kaufman 

Don't       that  the  business  won't  be  wrecked*     It's 

fry  to       cheaper  to  give  you  half  than  to  have  you 

Under-Pay  gra^   everything   a    little    later*     Besides. 

the  combined  ideas  and  energy  of  you  four 

men  will  more  than  double  the  value  of  the 

concern   and  increase  my   fifty   per  cent 

equity  beyond  my  present  total  holdings. 

So  jump  in  and  put  your  youth  to  work 

while  I  start  to  learn  leisure/' 


302 


Like  the  boy  who  ate 
the  green  apples  in  the 
dark,  he  doesn't  find  out 
that  his  judgment  is  bad 
until  he  can't  change 
his  mind 


303 


THE  MAN  WHO  DOESN'T  REALLY 
COUNT 

He  tries  to  build  by  lying  instead  of  try- 
ing, but  if  his  head  were  as  long  as  his  ears, 
he'd  realize  what  an  ass  he  is.  His  view- 
point is  all  askew— he  doesn't  know  the 
difference  between  being  "smart"  and 
"clever"  or  "sly"  and  "shrewd." 

He  mistakes  his  blindness  for  the  world's 
esteem.  If  he  were  one  whit  less  contented, 
he'd  discover  that  he's  just  a  human 
ostrich  with  his  head  buried  in  the  sands  of 
conceit  and  his  real  character  revealed 
to  every  one.  He  is  not  a  man  of  mark, 
but  a  marked  man.  The  outcry  that  fol- 
lows him  is  always  a  jeer  instead  of  a  cheer. 
Before  long,  he  stands  marooned  upon  the 
shores  of  life,  vainly  signaling  for  some 
friendship  to  sail  him  back  to  safety. 

305 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  He  lives  on  the  theory  that  every  one  is 

Man  Who    a  bigger  fool  than  himself,  but  he  is  like  the 

Doesn't      illustrator  who  has  used  his  face  as  a  model 

Really       until   he   unconsciously   outlines   his   own 

Count  <._,  i 

personality  in  every  drawing. 

He  sows  betrayal  and  double-dealing, 
and  because  the  seed  of  his  deceit  doesn't 
sprout  at  once  he  forgets  the  consequences. 
He  isn't  aware  that  a  lie  always  finds  its 
voice,  and  when  it  does  start  to  shout  a 
foghorn  is  a  whisper  in  comparison. 

He  can  no  more  escape  his  irresponsi- 
bilities than  he  can  halt  his  shadow  by 
slugging  it  with  a  sand  bag. 

His  past  may  be  slow  in  finding  his  trail, 
but  when  it  limbers  up  and  goes  in  pursuit 
it  travels  with  a  speed  that  makes  a  sixty- 
horse-power  racing  car  look  like  a  rheu- 
matic snail. 

He  is  trying  to  pick  the  lock  of  Fortune, 
but  no  moral  burglar  has  ever  turned  the 
trick.  If  he  has  any  doubt  upon  this  point, 
a  little  research  into  the  affairs  of  a  few 
of  his  predecessors,  to-wit:  Judas  Iscariot, 
Benedict  Arnold  or  the  late  Cassie  Chad- 

306 


The  Man  Who  Doesn't  Really  Count 

wick,   will   supply   him   with   considerable         Xhe 
information.  Man  Who 

He  chooses  the  down-grade  and  goes  on      Doesn't 
his  way  deluded  with  the  idea  that  he's 
the  rising  man,  but,  like  every  other  lob- 
ster, he's  moving  backward  all  the  while 
he's  trying  to  get  ahead. 

Whenever  he  is  endorsed,  he  turns  him- 
self into  a  human  promissory  note  and 
proceeds  to  discount  himself,  leaving  his 
innocent  friends  saddled  with  the  settle- 
ment when  his  misdeeds  fall  due.  He  is 
no  better  than  a  chicken  thief  who  robs  a 
henroost,  eats  the  fowl  and  throws  the 
head  and  feathers  on  his  neighbor's  back- 
door step. 

When  it's  far  too  late,  he  awakens  to  the 
realization  that  one  wrong  won't  cover 
another,  any  more  than  salt  will  blot  out  a 
claret  stain — it's  bound  to  work  its  way 
through  and  show.  A  dozen  lies  piled  on 
top  of  the  first  one  won't  hide  what's  at  the 
bottom — they  merely  act  as  coats  of  var- 
nish and  bring  it  out  more  clearly. 

He  exercises  all  the  ingenuity  and  schem- 

307 


Herbert  Kaufman 

^£j<       *ng  and  procrastination  within  his  power 
•pv        ,.      to  circumvent  facts — but  fact  is  a  sort  of 
Really       widow's   overgrown   son — bound  to   come 
Count       popping  up  when  least  wanted* 

Like  the  boy  who  ate  the  green  apples 
in  the  dark,  he  doesn't  find  out  that  his 
judgment  is  bad  until  he  can't  change  his 
mind, 

Old  Man  Norton  had  the  situation  down 
pat:—  "There's  two  kinds  of  varmints 
which  I  ain't  got  no  use  for — a  rattler  and 
a  liar — givin'  preference,  howsomever,  to 
the  reptile,  it  bein'  agin'  his  code,  as  a  snake 
and  a  gentleman,  to  deceive  nobody  as  to 
his  intentions*" 


308 


He  bestows  nothing 
upon  humanity  except 
harm— he  is  a  greater 
enemy  to  society  than 
the  thief— for  he  would 
steal  the  very  seed  of 
inspiration  from  which 
betterment  takes  root. 


309 


TO  THE  PESSIMIST 

You  are  the  most  utterly  useless  of  all 
humans.  Without  the  ability  to  create,  you 
aim  to  kill  the  spirit  of  creation;  without 
the  skill  to  produce,  you  seek  to  check  the 
advance  of  progress. 

You  are  a  poison  oak  in  the  forest — a 
creeper  without  the  strength  to  climb  on 
your  own  stem*  You  not  only  are  fruitless, 
but  one  degree  worse  than  sterile — you 
absorb  vitality  to  no  purpose  and  hurt 
everything  with  which  you  come  in  con- 
tact. 

Despite  the  evidence  of  all  the  ages,  you 
still  refuse  to  recognize  that  nothing  can  be 
achieved  without  trial — that  nothing  can 
be  accomplished  unless  it  is  attempted 
with  courage  and  enthusiasm — you  make 
of  yourself  a  check-rein  wherever  there  is 

3U 


Herbert  Kaufman 

To  the       call  for  a  spur — you  persist  in  kicking  with 
Pessimist     discouragement  every  striver  who  needs  the 
helping  hand  of  confidence. 

When  all  the  machinery  of  civilization 
is  doing  its  best  to  speed  faster,  you  turn 
in  reverse,  and  exert  your  utmost  to  force 
every  wheel  down  to  your  slower  ratio. 

You  have  no  imagination  and  yet  you 
try  to  discount  all  new  thought.  Without 
the  courage  of  a  single  conviction,  you 
wish  to  reduce  the  zeal  of  strong,  sane  and 
far-seeing  intellects.  Without  a  construct- 
ive idea,  you  continually  hurl  your  incre- 
dulity at  every  rising  wall. 

Had  the  world  relied  upon  your  tribe  for 
its  progress,  this  earth  would  still  be  a  raw 
expanse  of  rock  and  dirt — a  chaos  in  chaos* 

Your  grandsires  in  the  darker  centuries 
burned  a  thousand  great-souled  men  be- 
cause they  dared  to  do  things  better- 
enlightenment  has  uprooted  the  Stake  so 
that  the  most  you  can  do  to-day  is  to  con- 
sume the  ambitions  of  your  contempora- 
ries in  the  flame  of  discouragement. 

3*2 


To  the  Pessimist 

Four  hundred  years  ago  you  would  have       To  the 
stood  in  the  ranks  of  the  hooting  mobs  that    Pessimist 
stoned  and  reviled  the  chain-laden  Colum- 
bus.   As  a  Puritan  bigot,  yours  would  have 
been  the  hand  that   fired  the   fagots   at 
Salem. 

Had  wills  of  your  calibre  prevailed  in 
America,  Bell,  Morse,  Edison,  McCormick, 
Wright  and  Fulton  would  have  died  un- 
known. 

Were  all  men  cast  in  your  narrow  meas- 
ure, there  would  be  no  trans-continental 
trains;  no  tunnels  beneath  the  Hudson — the 
barber  would  continue  to  wield  the  surgeon's 
knife  upon  patients  tortured  for  the  lack  of 
anaesthetic  mercy. 

You're    just   an  ignoramus — you  won't 
learn  the  indisputable  truths.     Education   „ 
is  wasted  upon  you. 

Opportunity   is   squandered  every  time 
you  are  given  a  chance. 

You  bestow  nothing  upon  humanity  ex- 
cept harm;  you  are  a  greater  enemy  to 

313 


Herbert  Kaufman 

To  the       society  than  the  thief — for  you  would  steal 
Pessimist    the  very  seed  of  inspiration  from   which 
betterment  takes  root. 

To  be  pessimistic  in  this  hour  of  illustri- 
ous deeds — to  proselyte  despair  in  a  century 
which  has  disproven  the  impossibility  of 
impossibilities  is  to  insult  society  and  to  wear 
the  livid  brand  of  confessed  incompetence. 


3J4 


Humanity  does  not 
bestow  affection  upon 
those  who  correct  its 
hypocrisies  and  its  con- 
ceits, but  it  grants  them 
honor.  It  does  not  love 
its  moral  surgeons,  but 
it  obeys  and  follows 
them. 


3J5 


THE  WORLD  NEEDS  A  MAN  LIKE 
THIS 

The  man  who  does  not  possess  the  courage 
of  his  convictions  can  never  hope  to  con- 
vince the  rest  of  us  that  he  possesses  courage* 
You  must  fight  for  your  beliefs  before  the 
world  will  believe  in  your  fights. 

When  you  set  out  to  attain,  the  respect 
of  mankind,  remember  to  count  your  self- 
respect  first  and  after  that  the  respect  of 
your  fellows  will  last. 

The  cause  of  nine  successes  out  of  ten  is 
the  cause  and  not  the  success  for  which 
the  battle  is  made* 

We  need  leaders,  but  we  insist  that  they 
shall  prove  their  right  as  well  as  their 
might  to  lead.  If  opposition  discourages 
you.  we'll  be  discouraged  in  you.  We  ac- 
knowledge a  better  only  after  we  have 

317 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  "World  been  bettered*    We  do  not  elect  oar  stipe- 
Needs  a      riors;  we  submit  to  their  greatness*     We 
Man  Like    do  not  give  way  to  those  who  flatter  us, 
but  to  them  who  batter  us*    Every  man 
Jack  in  the  land  would  much  prefer  to 
command  than  to  serve*     Therefore,  your 
ambition  to  stand  at  the  head  of  the  line 
means  a  contest  all  down  the  line. 

We  must  have  more  men  in  our  midst 
who  will  dare  to  help  us  by  hurting  our 
vanity  and  correcting  our  faults*  Far  too 
many  of  us  lack  the  manhood  to  look  our 
weaknesses  squarely  in  the  eye  and  call 
them  by  their  unvarnished  names* 

We  do  not  wish  the  surgeon's  knife*  but 
when  it  saves  something  we  acknowledge 
its  beneficence — we  are  not  fond  of  the 
index  finger  of  the  diagnostician*  but  when 
its  jab  produces  a  jump*  it  signifies  that 
something  is  wrong  underneath. 

The  physician  who  cuddles  his  patients— 
the  manager  who  coddles  his  superior— 
the  chief  who  does  not  discipline  his  men* 
are  all  cowards  and  must  pay  the  penalty 
of  cowardice — they  eventually  fall  to  the 

318 


The  World  Needs  a  Man  Like  This 

ground— they   must    fall    by   the    law    of    The  World 
gravity — the  gravity  of  Truth.  Needs  a 

Wounded  vanity  has  never  as  yet  been  ^n  Like 
known  to  prove  fatal,  but  many  a  patient 
and  many  a  cause  and  many  an  enterprise 
have  been  killed  because  a  yellow-veined 
hypocrite  at  a  crucial  moment  winked  at 
the  existence  of  a  wound  rather  than  wound 
a  weakness* 

Humanity  does  not  bestow  affection 
upon  those  who  correct  its  hypocrisies  and 
its  conceits,  but  it  grants  them  honor.  It 
does  not  love  its  moral  surgeons,  but  it 
obeys  and  follows  them. 

They  may  arouse  our  anger,  by  forcing 
us  to  realize  that  we  have  wronged  our- 
selves, but  every  time  they  demonstrate 
that  we  are  small,  they  make  us  acknowl- 
edge that  they  are  great. 

Vanity  is  ever  blinding  us.  We  have  a 
habit  of  looking  away  from  our  flaws  and 
enlarging  our  virtues.  We  love  our  self- 
love  more  than  we  love  ourselves.  We 
need  help  at  all  times  and  in  all  places. 

We  are  surfeited  with  demagogues— we 

3J9 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  World  have  far  too  many  hypocrites,  but  society 
Needs  a     is  pitifully  lacking  in  giants — everywhere 
Man  Like    the  call  is  sounding  for  Men — for  strong 
Inis        men — men   with   clear   vision — men   with 
clean  hearts — men  who  dare  to  nail  a  lie 
and  tell  a  truth — who  fear  to  fail  in  noth- 
ing so  much  as  in  themselves. 


320 


You  weren't  content  to 
have  the  butterflies 
flutter  past  in  the  sun- 
light you  caught  them  to 
feel  the  spangles  on  their 
wings  and  the  moment 
you  touched  the  gauze 
all  the  purple  and  the 
gold  rubbed  off  and  they 
died  in  your  hands. 


32J 


THE  MAN  WHO  SNEERED  AT  SANTA 
GLAUS 

You're  the  man  who  drove  the  fairies  out 
of  their  dells;  the  gnomes  hide  as  you 
enter  the  woods;  the  squirrels  won't  talk  to 
you;  you  don't  understand  what  the  wind 
says  at  night;  and  you  can't  even  see  the 
face  of  the  man  in  the  moon. 

You  weren't  content  to  have  the  butter- 
flies flutter  past  in  the  sunlight;  you  caught 
them  to  feel  the  spangles  on  their  wingst 
and  the  moment  you  touched  the  gauze 
all  the  purple  and  the  gold  rubbed  off  and 
they  died  in  your  hands. 

You  set  a  snare  for  the  rainbow,  and  after 
you'd  trapped  it  in  your  prism  it  stopped 
being  a  rainbow  and  just  turned  into  a 
haze  of  colored  lights. 

323 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The  Oh,  the  fortunes  and  fortunes  you've  lost 

Man  Who     —all  your  dreams — all  your  faiths!    YouVe 

Sneered      soy   vcmr    birthrights*    And   now   you're 

Glaus*      alone,  and  miles  and  miles  and  miles  away 

from  home! 

You  set  forth  in  the  wrong  direction 
through  the  Gate  of  Years — down  the  Path 
of  Tears*  Why,  already  there's  grey  in 
your  hair;  so  how  can  YOU  know  about 
Santa  Glaus? 

You  went  hunting  for  him,  just  as  you 
searched  for  the  pixies  and  elves,  and  of 
course  you  couldn't  find  him  because 
DOUBT  blurred  your  eyes.  Your  name  is 
on  his  blacklist.  He  never  stops  at  your 
chimney. 

At  which  you  probably  shrug  your 
shoulders  and  sniff  and  sneer  and  want  us 
to  think  that  he  doesn't  exist.  But— 

Way  down  in  your  heart  (in  a  little  lone- 
some corner  which  belonged  to  a  forlorn 
boy  who  got  lost  inside  of  you)  you  KNOW 
that  Christmas  is  real,  that  there  IS  a 
Santa  Glaus,  and  that  he  rides  over  all  the 
world  in  a  single  night — in  a  wonderful 

324 


The  Man  Who  Sneered  at  Santa  Glaus 

sleigh  that   simply  can't   be  emptied,  no         The 
matter  how  many   guns   and  drums   and     ^an  Who 
horses  and  dolls  and  blocks  and  books  he      Sneered 
takes  from  it. 

You've  heard  the  bells  on  his  reindeer 
when  they  champed  on  the  gables  as  he 
wheezed  and  puffed  and  squeezed  down  the 
tight  old  chimney  place.  (You  never  could 
understand  how  he  managed  to  get  through 
it,  because  it  wasn't  really  a  chimney,  but 
just  a  hole,  no  bigger  than  the  stove-pipe. 
But  the  chimney  didn't  pinch  at  all — you 
BELIEVED  that  he  would  come,  and 
Faith  widened  the  way  for  him.) 

He  always  brought  the  very  things  for 
which  you  wrote,  too.  Mother  helped  you 
with  the  letter — you  and  she  composed  it. 
She  guided  your  hand,  and  even  suggested 
what  to  ask  for. 

But  you  sealed  the  envelope  all  by  your- 
self, and  mother  took  it  out  with  her  the 
next  morning,  because  she  knew  the  exact 
letterbox  from  which  he  received  his  mail. 

Where  are  your  sneers  now?  You  know 
you'd  give  half  the  world  to  go  back  to- 

325 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The         night  and  crawl    upstairs   to  the  bedroom 
Man  Who    under  the  eaves  and  wish  things  again- 
Sneered      half  thc  wory  to  slecp  at  "home"  one  more 

Claus*     Christmas  Evel 

No  boy  ever  truly  slept  on  the  eve;  but 

you  pretended  to  with  all  your  might  and 
main*  And  when  mother  and  father  tip- 
toed into  the  room  and  stood  beside  the 
cot  you  peeped  through  one  half-opened  lid 
and  wondered  why  he  kissed  her.  And 
once  a  moonbeam  slipped  in  and  fell  on  her 
face  and  you  saw  tears  on  her  lashes. 

And  as  it  grew  later  and  the  wind 
growled  and  howled  and  the  branches  of 
the  old  locust  slapped  against  the  window, 
you  moved  over  and  pinched  brother  to 
keep  him  awake  as  you  had  promised. 

It  seemed  like  a  whole  year  of  nights 
before  you  heard  the  sleigh  bells.  My! 
You  lay  still  and  squeezed  your  eyes  shut 
and  you  gave  a  snorty  snoret  for  fear  that 
Santa  Glaus  might  come  upstairs  and  catch 
you  waiting.  And  you  didn't  move  again 
until  you  heard  father  lock  his  door. 

Then  you  crept  downstairs.     The  parlor 

326 


The  Man  Who  Sneered  at  Santa  Glaus 

was  dark;  but  the  stove  was  redhot  and  its         The 

glow  showed  the  ghostly  row  of  stockings    Man  Who 

on  the  mantel.    The  big  lump  at  the  bot-      Sneered 

torn  of  yours  was  an  apple — you  knew  that     at  Santa 

without  touching  it;  he  always  stuck  an 

apple  in  the  toe — and  the  thing  sticking  out 

was  a  jumping  jackt  which  he'd  put  in  the 

top  for  good  measure,  without  your  even 

asking  for  it.     (He  must  have  had  plenty 

of  jumping  jacks,  to  be  so  liberal  with 

them!) 

And  over  in  the  corner  stood  the  tree. 
You  never  did  figure  out  how  he  got  it 
down  the  chimney  without  smudging  the 
angel  with  soot. 

The  angel  stood  at  the  very  top,  and  she 
had  silver  wings  that  glistened  like  snow, 
and  all  over  the  branches  were  golden 
whirlimajigs  and  glass  balls  and  red-striped 
peppermint  canes  and  cornucopias  with 
pictures  pasted  on  them  and  festoons  of 
pop-corn  and  chains  of  red  and  blue  and 
green  and  yellow  and  white  paper.  The 
toys  were  spread  around  on  the  floor. 

Your  gun  with  the  bayonet  was  resting 

327 


Herbert  Kaufman 

The         against  a  "real-skin"  horse,  and  on  the  other 
Man  Who    side  was  a  soldier  set  mounted  on  a  big  red 
Sneered      carcj  wftk  goy  edges. 

at  oanta         Sister's  doll,  which  could  open  and  shtrt 
Claus        ..  f,  <        .     ,. 

its  eyes  (just  as  she  asked),  was  resting  as 

comfortably  as  you  please  in  a  blue  rocking 
chair  that  was  meant  to  be  used. 

And  the  baby's  shoo-fly  had  a  rattle  and 
a  closed  box  on  the  tray  that  hung  between 
the  heads  of  the  dappled  grays. 

You  had  no  business  to  touch  that  box, 
and  it  served  you  right  that  you  got  a  scare 
when  an  impudent  red -nosed  Jack  with 
carrot-colored  whiskers  popped  up  and 
shook  his  cap  in  your  face* 

Besides  all  these  gorgeous  gifts  from 
Santa  Glaus  were  the  two  handkerchiefs  for 
mother  and  the  carpet  slippers  for  father 
and  the  "Sanford  and  Merton"  that  Aunt 
Theresa  sent  you,  and  the  drum  from  Uncle 
George. 

They  don't  make  drums  like  that  now- 
adays. The  new  ones  haven't  anything  like 
the  right  sound. 

You  couldn't  wait  until  you  had  slipped 

328 


The  Man  Who  Sneered  at  Santa  Glaus 

the  tape  around  your  neck  and  pulled  the         The 
sticks   from   the   sides— and  then— "Rub-    Man  Who 

a-dub-dub   ..'>•"  ftHnfa 

Why,  it  isn't  the  drum  at  all — it's  the        Qaus 
steam  radiator  sounding  "Taps!" — calling 
you  to  come  back — back  over  the  Road  of 
Years— back  to  NOW. 

But  you're  lonely  and  wistful  and  you 
want  to  stay  and  hear  the  sleigh  bells  ring 
— you  want  one  more  real  Christmas. 

The  things  you  can  buy  in  the  shop  are 
all  wrong.  You  can't  get  any  fun  out  of 
them. 

Christmas  gifts  don't  count  if  they  aren't 
brought  down  the  CHIMNEY. 


329 


A     000  121  064    o 


